jewels in one's life

life is all about self-discovery..and i'm thankful
...

she speaks her mind out. she says it out loud. she blurts out words beyond thinking. she shows it when things do not sync with what she thinks is right. at least, that is who she thinks she is.

then, her bffs, two of them, sitting in front of her.. condemning her acts.. she started first.. she questioned  how could a person won't bother attending a brief farewell lunch just because... putting up a one hour fake smile, trying to convince she appreciated the friendship and lectures..  won't harm anybody, right? right? and that ignites the dynamite.. her bffs were telling her how fake she was..is.. and she is.. she loathes that shallow-minded kampung girl and her guts, and yet, she smiles in front of her. she cried for hating the decision made, and yet, she laugh out loud when what she meant was to confront and said i hate the decision. and when she thinks back, yes, she is so fake. when she said that two-faced, hypocrite con lady..she meant it for herself. at her age, she doesn't have to pretend.. she doesn't have to care what people thinks about her.. she doesn't have to put the act just to let the people smile.. alas, she's not eyeing for any good-heart-good-person award, so, she really doesn't have to.. and maybe, just maybe, she prefers not to have a lot of friends, good best friends. among them, she doesn't have to lace her sweet remarks with ingeniune smile. she meant it when she compliments them, and of course she teases them, pull their legs and she knows her friends were okay with the jokes.. prinicipally, she shouldn't act the way she behaves.. but guess it would be too hard to mold her at her age now. 

though it is countable, she knew her friends know her best. she is grateful to have friends like them. she cries like a crazy woman and the next seconds she starts mocking her friends's responds.. she screams at the top of her lung how much she hates that bitch and in a blink of the eye she bought her gifts.. her friends know her too well to take her seriously, but they do.. at least that they show her they still care.. and she loves every bits of that friendship.. she cherishes them in every way.. no matter where she goes, no matter what she does, no matter who she is.. these few friends of hers are true friends.. she hates that person, they loathe them even more; she complains about the pain she's in, they hurt even worst; she yells for revenge, they scream louder; she speaks in german, they respond in french, and they still laugh for the jokes together..

she doesn't want to lose them; the friendship they've built. they are the jewels in her life, and she thanks them.. when all surrounds demand for her fake compliments, the jewels she has left just take her for what she is.. and how can she not be thankful?