Wednesday, May 30, 2012

the over-ambitious mama

i need to find time to post a blog.. despite of so many things on my plate, i need to trash out some..
...

it's school holidays and when the break is over, aidan will be in afternoon session... yeah... extra hour sleep for mama.
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the exam - despites of being blessed with smart intelligent brilliant kids, alhamdullilah, i must take some credit on their overall achievements for the mid-term. as aboh was unfortunately not around, mama had to juggle between works try to fit in whenever i can to ensure i was home as early as possible to revise with the boys and follow ups with them when i was at work.

aimar exam result was something i can be proud of. he got 2nd out of 12 students in his class with 100% marks for BM, 98% for english, 96% for science and 89% for maths... i know its still early, but i'm reserving him for being my lawyer son when he grows up. there was one incident where i got a text messages from his principal telling me how 'frank' aimar was during his science paper " teacher, i've seen all these trees, but this one (supposedly an eggplant) i've never seen. what is the answer?".. cool huh.. not that he was asking how to do the test, but he asked for the answer directly! how convinient! anyway, he managed to get all right for that particular questions.

as for aidan - i guess he was all stressed up because he has a mother like me. i know, i know, i know.. good friends been telling me i shouldn't be so stressed up that aidan is only seven and he's a smart boy. but i can't help myself from worrying and i always think all a mother can do is to gear up her child with all possibilities, just in case. so, for a standard one, he was introduced with mind-mapping on nouns, pronouns, kata ganti nama diri pertama, kedua, ketiga, the arabic words of qalqolah etc... to the extend, during one of the revision session and i let him take his break for 15 mins and he came up to me with his one piece of mind-mapping about himself.. i pitied him... and deep inside, i do feel guilty! anyway, his result is still a mystery to us. but, his teacher did text me a day before the school holidays telling me that he got 100% for English paper.. and i was teary reading the message coz i know how stressful he was for having a mama like me :(
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so, school holidays?... we plan to leave for our ad-hoc cuti2 this weekend.. so, i shall update with the news, hopefully.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Being a mother

This came in my inbox, i was teary:
After 17 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, 'I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.'
* * *
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been alone for 20 years, but the demands of my work and my two boys had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.
* * *
That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.
* * *
'What's wrong, aren't you well,' she asked?
* * *
My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.
* * *
'I thought it would be pleasant to spend sometime with you,' I responded. 'Just the two of us.' She thought about it for a moment, and then said, 'I would like that very much.'
* * *
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last birthday on November 19th.
* * *
She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. 'I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed,' she said, as she got into that new white van. 'They can't wait to hear about our date'.
* * *
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. 'It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,' she said. 'Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor,' I responded.
* * *
During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation- -nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.
* * *
As we arrived at her house later, she said, 'I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.' I agreed.
* * *
'How was your dinner date ?' asked my wife when I got home.  'Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,'  I answered.
* * *
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.
* * *
Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: 'I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two
plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son.'
* * *
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: 'I LOVE YOU' and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till 'some other time.'
* * *
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby..... somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, 'normal' is history.
* * *
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct ... somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.
* * *
Somebody said being a mother is boring ....somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.
* * *
Somebody said if you're a'good' mother, your child will 'turn out good'.... somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
* * *
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother.... somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.
* * *
Somebody said you can't love the second child asmuch as you love the first .... somebody doesn't have two children.
* * *
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery.... somebody never watched her 'baby' get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten ... or on a plane headed for military 'boot camp.'
* * *
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married....somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.
* * *
Somebody said a mother's job is done when  her last child leaves home.... somebody never had grandchildren.
* * *
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her.... somebody isn't a mother.

the family i was born and raised by is not very vocal in expressing i love you to each other. i don't want that in my kids, and i always tell my children how much i love them and i want them to answer back. true, the more you said, it would be meaningless..but at this stage, i don't see any harm done.

it was mother's day last sunday. we didn't plan for anything. i didn't wish my mum at all. i know that everyday is mother's day and we don't need a specific day to acknowledge that.

then, as i picked aidan from school, he gave a me a 'broken' artificial flowers that he bought from the school. last night, he said, he wanted to give me a dinner treat as he has rm7 and he can spend on it in papparich. i was smitten. i was flattered. aidan is not as explicit as aimar when it comes to expressing his emotions. so, when he did these, i was touched. then i realized, i can afford fancy restaurants, i can afford fancy gift, but i just can't say out loud how much i love my mum. i can blog it down, and yet, it takes courage to voice it out. my mum, she's not good in showing affection too.. but then again.......i know she knew i love her, with all my life... but it's that enuff?

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

an hour @ derrick n team

i'm blogging via my mobile while getting my hair being radiated under these red lights, like a suntan for the hair kot.. well, the last time u had a haircut when i was seven months pregnant and aivey is now been seven months already. the last time i had a hair treatment was like never, so, as the baby has started to getting all bubbly and mummy has started losing her hair everywhere, a hair treatment under this infrared light is all i need. gosh, i could hardly manage to find any time for myself lately. i either busy with aivey or the boys (that includes their daddy as well), or ironing tonnes and tonnes of laundry, or trying some simple homemade food, or working like mad from 8 to 6.. and rush for aidan during lunch. i could hardly say an occassional hi to the girls and i do miss my girlfriends company. i do, really do. that brief five minutes quick chat was insufficient at all. i want to know how is everybody doing... and as much as i want to find time during work, i was rushing here and there with work.believe it or not, am trying my very best to run five packages simultaneously while most people can afford around three at once. i told myself that it is my responsibilities as i took up that new smso roles, but i knew that it is more than being responsible.. it's just being ambitious! kids.. well, i can't lie.. not having them around at this moment is really a relief! they've been around waayy too often that sometimes i just want to run away and break free. aivey is too clingy. a glimpse of me will trigger her to cry requesting me to pick her up. a note of my voice will set her alarm to call out for mama. what makes it worst, she didn't do that to aboh.. adoi.. she's way too spoilt by me! aidan aimar.. well, we heard it all 'boys will always be boys'.. they fight, they stink, they crash and burn, they scream, they yell, they cry, they jump, they run.. they do all stuff that make mama shouts 'boys, stop it!'.. gosh, i must thank the weekend helper that come and visit once a week to settle the house cleaning. of course they are paid helper. my hubby?.. i wont lie. his 'nocturnal' life is somehow impacting me. when he was beyond his control and only able to sleep when the sun started to rise and in return did not manage to send aimar off, i was furious. i wonder what he did at nighttime. he was alwats there at home, but he just couldn't sleep. there was one time i was hoping for him to pick up aidan when he answered my call 'abang terlena sekejap'.. adoiyai.. he's a good man - my hubby.. when some of my friend struggling to keep thier marriage alive, i must thank God for him. but, fighting over the same issues over and over and over again, sometimes can just kill you. nagging about expecting him to have a good sleep so that he can just 'live' like a 'normal' person.. well, bang, any sane human pun ada limitnye. so, if you may now, i stop feeling stressed with this pandora chain ;).. i knew, in times, i will still have another arguments with you.. for now, we'll just rest.. ok, my hair is done;).