so, what's next?

i haven't been writing stuff for quite a while. aivey dah tumbuh gigi.. yeah.. aimar, still as cheeky as he is the last time i check. aidan still belum dapat conclusion wrt his exam.. baru dpt paper english 100%,  bm paper 1 100%, bm paper 2 96% and kesihatan 98%..not bad.. and i've never been more proud of him as i ever.

kids - they are always a blessing, in disguise or not. they are pure. they are of the highest living form one can think of. i must admit, they are not cheap nowadays.. but, as we believe it's true, anak tu rezeki.

i had an emotionally-disturbed weekend! it's about this innocent child. she's innocent and no doubt about it. she's born out of wedlock. a mistake was done and no way in our super-human capacity to be able to back-space, erase and re-do everything. nope, we can't do that. the most noble man ever lived can't do that.. and no greatest scientist could think of theoritically formula to turn back time. Maha Besar Allah.  but then again, this child, is a child.. innocent, pure and is a blessing in disguise. she smile at us. she doesn't know how her life gonna be. she won't know how the world will treat her. and if i were to judge, she won't be prepared to life the world when at the age of four month the sitter is trying to hide her true identity from the world! the sitter, or should i say the adopted parent, told us nobody should know about how she gets into the world. her 'real' grandparents shouldn't know that she was the 'real' granddaughter, but instead she was adopted. the grandma is now 58.. do the math.. the kids will grow up as an adopted child in the family and will only know about her real life right after the gramps passed away! this child was born out of stupid crazy teenagers decided to bonked just because there were 'in love', and she was born not like all other kids who has parents, aunties, uncles, cousins, gramps who were waiting for the day she'd come out from her mum.... and now that she's born, she need to be hide away and have no rights to know how she should live her life! bulls!!!! what becomes her???

as i'm writing this, i cried. i saw this child's smile. genuine, pure, innocent smile. i was holding aivey. how different her path was, is and will be as compared to aivey.

a mistake was done. do we still need to add to more mistake? is it true, if you are consistently wrong, you are right? is really a matter of family dignity rather than a human life?

this is so disturbing!