Tuesday, July 31, 2012


when i'm pissed, i eat, i yell, i bitch..  i can't do any of that now that i'm fasting, so, i write. but i still can't help myself from being mean bitch.and i don't give a damn. and i speak bad english!darn....

these people are too much. i've been working zealously from 8 to 5. i didn't take my break, but of course, i still go back on time. i reserved my rights to go back on time as i doubt work will ever finish! but these people i work with are beyond stupid. it's an insult to intelligence, and i'm mad that these highly paid people just don't deserve what they earned!

it took 20 fucking days for them to respond on my queries, and after 6 hours, they have the gut to ask if i've completed my paperworks!
it took them a line of saying "ok, proceed to purchase" and when i asked how will you proceed with the payment, they can simply said "we don't think of it".
it took them a nice formal email cc to all their boss stating the plan, and when it comes to executing the plan, they can just answer me "i just finish the meeting and do not have time to go through your email"

so, tell me why i shouldn't be pissed?

Monday, July 16, 2012

boys will be boys

i, for once, can never understand the other gender.

now that the boys are growing up and were soooo into football, they will just kick anything their feet can reach and kick! always end up with a yelling momma telling them to stop kicking the bottles!
i hang out with them yesterday. the club they were playing football over weekends, and nope, they are not excellent pun, but okay la - they can kick hard, they can run fast, they tackle, and they speak the football languange, defeng, midfield, striker bla bla bla. yesterday, they were having friendly match in malacca. three buses! yup, full three buses were transporting the boys, team below 8,10, 12 and 14. can you imagine the adrenaline these boys combined?? i can't. the coaches were screaming, yelling and even insulting. i doubt that girls will be as tuff as them. and yet, despites the scolds, they still listen to their coaches. some was giving a sympathy look to get the coach go a-head to play in the game. aimar was literally hugging the coach and i was far away to avoid eye contacts with these hopeful ambitious boys. at the end, they all had their game, well-played.
i saw them insulting each other, and also so them helping other tying the laces.
i saw them screaming vulgar words, and the same them helping the little brothers who need to go to the toilet.
when aidan was ignoring aimar, i saw some who was accompanying aimar.
and i know, as much as aidan just didn't bother about his brother, when he needs to play the big bro role, he will, in time.

this other gender, they suck in showing emotion. they were so harsh with each other. they were so violent and found it funny mocking others.

but of course, once a while, they'll remind themselves that there's more to life. they can appreciate friends that been insulted them coz it takes two to tango. in the end, after a decade departing for each other, they bump into that guy in a coffeeshop, they can still sit in one table, and have a conversation with each other as if the last time they saw was 24 hours ago. impressive huh!

anyway, yesterday, in that field, i saw my two boys, growing up, blending, failing and still having fun :)

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

by all means..please...

i know i'm smart and intelligent, alhamdullilah, thank Allah for blessing me with what i have. as much as i love talking, i don't favour intelligence debate. just as much as i love reading, i don't enjoy non-fiction books. but what i'm going to write will be something heated that i just need to vent out. and i hope i don't sound so bimbo!

so, what's up?

here's the story-mory.. a q&a session was held between the employees and hr.. well, sometimes, i do pity those hr.. when a policy was imposed, which always the case for the benefit if the company but vice versa for the staff, hr will be the first to beheaded..of course, they will always be the bearer of the bad news and should there'll be any good news, this is when the big boss will decide to tell the staff personally la kan. anyway, back to the q&a session, a fresh young executive was so determined to let her voice out and (hopefully) heard... put, the seconds she decided not to listen to the answer thrown back to her, and dragged the five minutes session to a twenty minutes session, she pissed me off!

the issue is simple. she was complaining how suck the company oversea's benefit. nope, she was not complaining, she asked everybody to agree with her!

i didn't join the argument. to me, it was a waste of energy to convince a blind guy that he's holding a black pen and not a red pen as he think it is.

but, she made me wonder....

she said, she as a staff deserves better allowance. she can get better elsewhere..
and if i was the hr, i would say "by all means".. if you think you are not paid as much as you deserve, by all means, go ahead and go to somewhere who is willing to pay your worths.
oo..ok, so, you are bonded?
the company gave you money during your students' years, and it's not such a small amount, just for you to finish your degree, and the company provided a position in the company, and this is a fortune 500 company we are talking about which took me ten years after graduating to be accepted, and when it's time to payback, you are complaining?
i just don't understand... ooo..ok, so, it wasn't you who signed the bond agreement, it was your parents..
bulls, you are telling me that your parents decided to ruin the next ten years of your life by signing that paper so that you get paid to study and they even give you allowance on top of what you are getting, and they foresee that you do not have to worry about getting a job after graduated, and all those is just to mess with your life!
you your people are unbelievable!

did you know - when you took that SPM exam, how worried your parents were? if you failed, they were worried how you going to run your life next. if you passed, they were worried about financial support to ensure you go to the best uni, which normally be more expensive than the community college, obviously. when you secured the scholarship, they were still worried that it will not be sufficient. when you done with your degree, they were worried about what's next in your life.. and they will never stop worrying.

did you know- when you were enjoying the scholarship money, some other student just have to make do with what they have.. be it or not.

did you know- when you graduated and was offered a job at a starting salary of RM4000, it took someone elsewhere of a same qualification, of a same quality and criteria but not a scholar, eight years to match your starting salary?

did you know- when the company offer you some benefit is because they thoroughly evaluated you and put your cost that much? did you think you work as much as you've been paid? or all that you can do is compared with other executives who work with an international reputable company? did you know those people from reputable company work as much as they were paid?

did you know- you talk too loud that you just couldn't think straight! there's always ways and means.. if you think the company is opressing you, go ahead, find a place who you think you deserves and would like you accept you... what cha waitin' for, my dear?

Wednesday, July 4, 2012


unbelievable.. call me racist, but, after what had happened, i don't mind being labelled one. we just came out from a three hours negotiation meeting which both parties weren't able to agree to any particular arrangement.. but this one minah salleh really gave us an impression these expat are worst to deal with.. she's a snob and we just hate her guts. she potrayed that nobody's good enough for her, not even the general manager. sucker!!!

on the other hand, i was proud of my team. we didn't back up and we didn't feel inferior at all...so what if she's a foreigner.. we are at par and we know that.

so, to all mat and minah salleh out there, change your perception, and tone down that attitude.. we don't give a damn!

Monday, July 2, 2012


all too often we are overwhelmed by so many activities that we forget about things that happen. life is filled with a mix of different moments. and if i were to list down three key events that have been impactful and have added colours to my life, that would be
- the day my emotionless-dad hugged and kissed me right in the middle of the school when we were getting my SRP result
- the day that i broke the news to my then-boyfriend-now-hubby that i was officially single and smiling all by myself on the bus to picaddaly street
- the day i was officially a mum

i vividly remember my ear-to-ear smile and the settings of when these events happened, and still smiling now. of course, there's more great things that had happened and more to come. for now, i'll cherished what has it becomes ;)

Sunday, July 1, 2012


i always believe i'm not that good a mother i am, i can always be better, but to some extend, i trust i've tried ny best to be the greatest mum to my kids.

this is what i wanted the world to know what kind of a mother i am:
- i breastfed all three of my kids bcoz with that it would make my life easier; i do not have to bother about the bottles, hot water etc .. the milk is always 'on the go'
- i left the kids with my aunts so that i could get some extra time alone for myself
- i pushed my kids to their limits as uf the exam they are taking is the end of their world if they fail
and the list goes on..

people might see me as incompetent, or hampeh as some put it

no matter what my reasons are, i decided just to ignore what people said.

what matters most are to know how great the kids behave comparing to others, how smart they are in making their own wise decision and still respect their mum's word, how proud they made me for excelling in things that matters.. so, if that's the result fir being incompetent, i don't mind being one!!