being ambitious me, i took the blame when aidan told me he's not in the list for the year-end award ceremony day in his scool this coming thursday. i blame myself to the extend i don't pray hard enough for my son's exam result that he's not shortlisted for any award!!!
aidan has 'sufferred' enough! last two weeks was the exam weeks. when everybody kept telling me he was only eight, i kept pushing him to the max! the teacher called me four consecutive days asking me to pick aidan up because he vomitted while taking his exams! he has no fever, no cold and no anything illness.. he was just stressed out! demn, he was only 8!!!!!
it's not healthy at all!
anak3 mama semua pandai2.. dulu, masa kecik, mama aboh selalu dapat hadiah year end sebab score exam. so, last year aidan tak dapat any hadiah, despite of him scoring 100% for his english paper. so, this year, mama wanted to make sure aidan is in the list.
teruk nya mama.... bila pikir2 balik,aidan anak yang baik. obedient. when i said no games, ipads, iphones, TVs, cartoons for two weeks.. he followed instructions.. hari2 buat revision. bangun as early as 6am, balik lewat petang.. sambung buat revision. weekend pun tak keluar2 dok sebok study.
to the extend - paper arab KAFA die, die bukak buku teks. mula2, die ckp, buku tu terbukak.. lepas few hours being caught in guilty conscious, he admitted "sebenarnye, buku teks tu tak terbukak. aidan yang bukak. aidan nak tiru sebab aidan tak tau langsung nak jawab soklan".. mama punye saiko kan aidan, to the extend he cheated! malunya mama kat diri mama sendiri! bukan sebab aidan meniru. sebab mama dok ckp "aidan kene excel exam this year".. and that is what aidan is trying to do. to please mama.
aidan, nanti bila aidan baca blog mama ni, aidan kena tau.. mama sampai ari ni nangis bila ingat balik betapa solehnya anak sulung mama ni, dengar cakap mama, cuba nak ikut apa mama suruh, and even, mengaku buat salah sampai muntah2... mama terus doa aidan jadi anak soleh, insyaallah.
you did nothing wrong. i was! i should take the blame!!
i put it hard on you!
kesian kat aidan.
mama tau aidan budak bijak. sangat bijak.
mama mintak maaf sayang..maaf sgt2..
if you don't know by now, u should know,
i'm sooo proud of you, sayang, so very proud.
aidan dapat no 7 periksa KAFA.. budak pandai cam aidan je boleh buat camtu.. dah lah takde background apa2, masuk KAFA bile darjah 2, while kawan2 aidan yang lain semua mula dari darjah satu. mama tak tolong apa sangat with your KAFA revision. you done well sayang.
takpe la aidan nye nama tak masuk dalam anugerah cemerlang st john. betul, mama was hoping. tapi, mama tau, you've done you best.. you've take up the challenge sampai berhari2 cikgu tepon ckp aidan muntah kat sekolah though aidan tak demam or batuk or anything. mama tau, aidan stress.. budak 8 thn tak patut stress. semua sebab mama!
sorry my dear son.
before its too late, i should allow you to enjoy your childhood. explore and be better in what you are good at, not what i want you to be good in..
aidan tolong mama, ye sayang..