You just can't deny me

Of all the people

You ought to know
It was fate that brought me to him
But it was you being the genesis of how things started
It was you, wanted to visit of the places in London
and I took the courage to call him up
and it was him who brought the two of us
All over the places you wanted to explore
And today, I wanted to know
How could you have so much hates on him
How could you not see that I love him
or the least,
How could you just not accept him the way he is?
How could you just not be happy for me?
...
You do not have to love him
Yet, you do not have to be rude to me
..
You ought to know
I cried buckets of sadness when you didn't do well in your SPM
I cried buckets of happiness when you excelled with the Deans'list scroll in your hand
I cried buckets of gloominess when you were nearly gave up for not getting the scholarship to further up your studies, following my footsteps
I cried buckets of anxiousness when you had to work part-times just to finance yourself in the UK
I cried buckets of gladness when you got the job offer from the Fortune500
I cried buckets of delightness when you were getting married
I cried buckets of gloominess when you had to remove that first baby you conceived and had to cut one of your precious tube
I cried buckets of mournfulness when you had your miscarriages again and again
I cried buckets of blessedness when you were pregnant at the same time I did
I cried buckets of blissfulness when you had your daughter two days after me
I cried buckets of easiness when you were pregnant again
I cried buckets of bleakness when you lost your son after carrying him 9 months in your tummy
and I still cried whenever I think of him cause, you ought to know, I regretted for not being able to be near you and see him in his few minutes in life.

You ought to know
I just love you
..
I love you with all your life, I thought
But today, I wonder if I really do
Today, when you left in hurry
Knowing I was there
Was something unbelievable, unthinkable
Yes, you can list down all the 1001 reasons for not wanting to see me
But, when you left
You just give me God's answer to my prayers
Alhamdullillah
The ball is no longer in my court, and now it's yours to play
It has been a year, and that was unbearable
But I guess, after today, I'm definitely stronger than I thought I am
The buzzing and bleeding ears is nothing
to what you did when you left..
...
If you think you did nothing
Think again
If you can't think as much as you should
Let me put it in the simple scenario
You found a place, and you just want to be there, only to find out the place is full of shit
and so you left..
Nope, you didn't make me feel like I was the shit
But you just showed me how high above you think you are
and how low I was to you

Of all the buckets I cried for you
You ought to know
I was truthful then and I owe you nothing now
You ought to know
No matter how high the position you are in now, life is never permanent
...
Grow up little girl
Time is no longer in our side
As much as you think the world is in your hand
Look up
You have so many things to own up to Him
Look down
That ground that held your feet, is the same ground that held mine
Look inside
Ask yourself, does it worth it?
Does it worth it being rude to someone who cried behind that door for you just so you won't know she loves you with all her heart?
Does it worth it to run away and let go?
Does it worth it?
If it does, good for you..
...
You just ought to know
It's not fair to deny me of that cross I bear that you gave to me!