Tuesday, January 2, 2018

2018: pesan mama

i'm not used to have azam tahun baru... not before and not now.
tapi, hari tu, masa muharram 1439H, i have a few target set for the year - so far so good, alhamdulillah.

and so, it's aivey's first day of school in her primary years today.
i guess, just like aimar, having the older siblings at the school and went to a private school such khalifah model school, we did not put much attention and spying and teaching them to fly like we did for aidan..... aidan was great was he went to st john seven years ago... as for aimar, i was still in the 'sick' phase - i was still on chemo and starting my radio when he went to standard one.. i owed it to him. i felt guilty trying hard not to be able to remember his first day of school. trust me, i'm still having some regrets of my own, though i wanted him to know, not that i love him less than abg aidan, but just because mama was so sick when you were in primary 1.... and as for aivey, i wanted to sneak up on her today, but she said 'parents not allowed in school mama. you will disturb the teachers'.. obidiently i said 'okay lah..mama balik dulu then'
so what's for 2018.
wallahuallam - we can plan, but we know it is all written and well-planned.
untuk itu, for me personally, nak banyak istighfar, nak banyakkan amal..... sedihnya bila banyak beramal tapi tak dapat redha Allah...
i hope i could meet my 'muslimah' target! ameen! ameen! ameen!


i have few things in my mind lately that i would want to share.
its bittersweets of life.

but i guess, i still need to be discreet as if it was not mine, ada aib orang lain yang akan terbuka - neither would be a win-win...

tapi, for my anak3 reading this post; mama not sure if you guys would remember this phase..
the phase when mama cried sebab rasa amat terasing dengan mereka yang sepatutnya akrab dengan kita.

you might remember or you might not.

but i just want you to promise me, apa2 jadi dalam hidup ni, please don't abandon each other!
please stick together for whatever.
busuk ke nanah ke kamu hanya ada tiga orang senasab se-mama se-aboh...
tak kurang, insyaallah, ada jodoh kalian akan bertambahlah kamu kemudian...
tahu dan amik tanggungjawab.
abang aidan, anak sulung, jaga adik2 semolek mungkin.
abang aimar, yang nombor dua, jangan biar abang aidan sorang amik tanggungjawab - keluarga ini keluarga awak juga.
adik aivey, ingat pesan mama pesan aboh pesan abang2, be safe!
nanti, bila masing2 dah besar dah buat haluan masing2 dah ada keluarga masing2, jangan lupa asal kamu, tapi jangan abaikan tanggungjawab kamu.

aidan, aimar, kamu semua anak-anak lelaki aboh mama.
dalam islam, anak lelakilah yang dituntut nak jaga mama aboh. santuni isteri, keluarga mentuamu dan ipar-duaimu. baik didik isteri dan anak2 kamu, baik didikan dan tunjuk ajar mereka, insyallah.. yang lain2 itu kerja Tuhanmu, sebab Dia pasti akan menjaga kamu bila kamu menjaga Dia.
Ingat, letak Dia dulu - lepas tu Nabi kita SAW... mama aboh akan terletak di tempat sepatutnya bila kamu ingat pesan ini.

my dearest aivey, all we pray for you is a great imam to be your jodoh, yang mampu menjaga kamu, membimbing mendidik kamu, yang mampu membawa keluarga kamu ke syurga. Sama pesan mama untuk aivey, jaga Allah, Dia akan jaga aivey. letak Dia dulu - lepas tu Nabi kita SAW... mama aboh akan terletak di tempat sepatutnya bila aivey ingat pesan ini.

baca Quran - Allah ada pesan, perempuan baik dengan lelaki yang baik.
jadi lelaki baik.
jadi perempuan baik,
yang baiklah yang akan menanti kalian.

itu doa mama.
ameen ya rabbal alameen.

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