Monday, August 29, 2022

What is JOY?

 I've been thinking about what brings me joy?

Is it when my children got good scores at school? Is it when my hubby bring big bonus from work? Is it when I am all filled up and had good me-time rest??

Alhamdulillah bini'matihi tatimus solihaati... All the rizq that Allah has given me is countless. Fullstop..

I would always define joy as the time when we will be call upon to enter Jannah



[Al-Fajr 28-30]

يَٰٓأَيَّتُهَا ٱلنَّفۡسُ ٱلۡمُطۡمَئِنَّةُ (27) ٱرۡجِعِيٓ إِلَىٰ رَبِّكِ رَاضِيَةٗ مَّرۡضِيَّةٗ (28) فَٱدۡخُلِي فِي عِبَٰدِي (29) وَٱدۡخُلِي جَنَّتِي (30)

“O the tranquil soul!Return to your Lord, well pleased and pleasing [to Him].Join My [righteous] slaves,and enter My Paradise.” Indeed, this is the ultimate joy ~ when Allah is pleased with us, and when we get the invites to be in the Paradise, joining the others, Ameen. 
Therefore, my work here is to find joy, to please Allah and be His righteous slaves for His Jannah. 

May Allah gives me and all of us the strength to find the enternity joy, Allahumma Ameen

Fokus!

 Masih belum ada disiplin nak tulis macam dulu-dulu lagi...
...
Masih rasa perlu untuk menulis sebab teralu banyak cerita yang lepas yang tak mungkin terulang dan akan luput dalam ingatan... 

Ada sebabnya turun 5 ayat pertama surah Al-'Alaq sebagai wahyu pertama yang diterima Rasulullah SAW dari Allah SWT dengan pengantaranya Jibril RA, untuk diri ini mentadaburri nikmat membaca dan menulis.... 

[Al-'Alaq 3-5]
ٱقۡرَأۡ وَرَبُّكَ ٱلۡأَكۡرَمُ (3) ٱلَّذِي عَلَّمَ بِٱلۡقَلَمِ (4) عَلَّمَ ٱلۡإِنسَٰنَ مَا لَمۡ يَعۡلَمۡ (5)
Bacalah, dan Tuhanmu Yang Maha Pemurah, -Yang mengajar manusia melalui pena dan tulisan, -Ia mengajarkan manusia apa yang tidak diketahuinya.
...
Alhamduillah, we went to Aivey's PTC last Saturday.. 
Aivey never had a formal exam / test ever... Zaman dia, diorang mansuhkan test untuk Darjah 1..lepas tu Covid and PKP and all sorts ... now, masih belum ada ura-ura nak hidupkan balik UPSR... sampai ke sudah, debar exam tu tak hadir2 dalam hidup dia.. huhuhu....

Of course I am worried for her.. 
Saya masih the old-school mom yang nak tengok level anak through test and exams.. Tapi, with the new system, nak paksa sekolah buat exam pun, payah gak..kalau sekolah buatkan, ada lak parents lain yang cakap Kementerian cakap tak payah...huhuhuhu

Huhuhuhuhu.. dilema the millineal generation!
...
Anyway, back to Aivey's PTC.. first thing first, Teacher bagitau "dia tak fokus kak! semua teachers pun reported the same!"

and that was not new to her! Setiap kali PTC, it would be the same issue - tak focus. Yet, it didn't effect her understanding in learning... except for BM and those subjects in Bahasa..huhuhuhu

Aimar dulu pun (dan mungkin sampai hari ni) ada masalah tak boleh fokus dalam kelas ni. Cikgu dok pesan, bagi dia extra latihaan from home so that he would be occupied.. masalahnya, dah bagi latihan pun, dia cepat-cepat siap lepas tu lalalalalala..

Bila teacher cakap tak fokus ni, maknanya tak duduk diam... 
Teacher bagi kerja, dia siap cepat, pastu dia resah gelisah... 

As for Aivey, lagi tambah masalah, bila tak fokus, dia pi kacau kawan and disturb class..huhuhuh stress lak mama dengar!

To some extent, dah level bully (Alysa,especially) lak jadinya..huhuhuhu

And if she had to sit still, she would sleep..Level ngantuk dia, melampau gak lah..sampai teacher suruh berdiri pun, dia boleh sambung tido...

Mama, cry now!
...
Macam-macam peel anak ni. 

Orang kata budak tak duduk diam ni budak pandai... 
Alhamdulillah... 

Antara Aidan, Aimar, Aivey... level tak duduk diam ni, memula ingat Aimar yang win.. tapi, lepas PTC baru ni, I had to give it Aivey.. huhuhuh
Aidan is so mama, skema, fokus... sume on-point.. 
Aimar, Aivey - bukan mama, nak cakap aboh tu, tak boleh nak main tuduh sebab kami tak membesar sama.. tapi, i have big gut feeling the young ashraf was so like Aimar and Aivey..hahaha
Alhamdulillah

For whatever, I have one secret recipe... doa mintak Allah jaga depa semua. Ya Allah, jangan sedetik cuma pun Kau biarkan kami uruskan diri kami, Ya Allah.. Ameen Allahumma Ameen.

Indeed, mama yakin Allah jaga anak-anak mama... dan mama harap sangat-sangat, anak-anak jaga Allah..sebab bila kita jaga Allah, Allah jaga kita.. 

Check diri - solat on time tak?
Ada infaq sedekah tak?
Buat baik kat orang tak?
Spread salam and kindness tak?
Ada nyusahkan orang tak?
...
Aidan, Aimar, Aivey ... jaga Allah selagi nyawa dikandung badan. 

Nak fokus tak susah - put the right intention on what you want to do, put Allah as your intention, and all wil good, insyaallah. 


Tuesday, August 16, 2022

Forgive us, Ya Allah

 Without me realizing, I've written so many things about my life in this blog. 
The posts count reached 394, and of course, some of the posts had never been published at all... the good thing about having own blog - you could pick what to publish and what not.

And that make me wonder ~ since 2009 and 2022.. those are a few of thoughts that I've put in my blog. Being it been published or not, I still could read it and I have mixed feelings - most post before my Cancer Era, was 'horrifying' ~ my adab was waaaaaaaaaaaaay in the bin, my language was inappropriately vulgar and my head was haywired ~

I wanted to keep everything in draft - just for my own reading.. but some, I just couldn't ... not because I was proud of what I wrote ... but I hope, it could remind my kids, "how could mama said that?".. so that they knew how regretful mama was for being bad!

and so I could remind myself, if those things were said and done, at least I could redone it by deleting or putting them in draft mode ~ but the content was still there ~ and what happened during the hearing at the Hereafter. 

Astaghfirullullah... Ya Allah, forgive us Ya Allah..
Only from Your Mercy could we be save from the Hellfire. 
Forgive us, Ya Allah. 

Friday, August 5, 2022

Writers don't write

I can never write my own book ~ I doubt that many writers would manage to do that.. I always wonder why it is so difficult to write our own story when it was a direct first-hand experience from within us?

I guess, I know the answer. 
"If I were to write my own story, I doubt that the reader would agree with me that it is a real life story ~ just like many others, I would also think it would be too good to be real... "
and the follow suit remarks would be ~ a-ha, she's a writer!

And that's why writers don't write their own non-fiction real life story!
...