Forgive us, Ya Allah

 Without me realizing, I've written so many things about my life in this blog. 

The posts count reached 394, and of course, some of the posts had never been published at all... the good thing about having own blog - you could pick what to publish and what not.

And that make me wonder ~ since 2009 and 2022.. those are a few of thoughts that I've put in my blog. Being it been published or not, I still could read it and I have mixed feelings - most post before my Cancer Era, was 'horrifying' ~ my adab was waaaaaaaaaaaaay in the bin, my language was inappropriately vulgar and my head was haywired ~

I wanted to keep everything in draft - just for my own reading.. but some, I just couldn't ... not because I was proud of what I wrote ... but I hope, it could remind my kids, "how could mama said that?".. so that they knew how regretful mama was for being bad!

and so I could remind myself, if those things were said and done, at least I could redone it by deleting or putting them in draft mode ~ but the content was still there ~ and what happened during the hearing at the Hereafter. 

Astaghfirullullah... Ya Allah, forgive us Ya Allah..

Only from Your Mercy could we be save from the Hellfire. 

Forgive us, Ya Allah.