The weaker sex

I've always enjoy reading Mary's column.. this week, superb! love it!
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Monday January 25, 2010
The weaker sex
BUT THEN AGAIN By MARY SCHNEIDER
startwo@thestar.com.my

A minor ailment is enough to reduce Mr Macho to a whimpering babe.
MANY men morph into helpless babies when they suffer from a minor ailment.
For example, take Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Governor of California and star of the hugely popular Terminator movies. Although he’s a physically strong man, when he gets sick I’m sure he sniffles and snuffles loudly beneath his quilt and waits for his wife Maria to bring him a comforting bowl of chicken soup.
“Ach, Maria,” he might say in his strong Austrian accent, “I vood die vithout you. Don’t ever leave me.”
Maria will stroke the feverish brow of the ex-Mr Universe and smile knowingly. If she wants to get a new pair of diamond earrings or have her kitchen renovated, now is the time to ask.
When the man in your life is “dying” from the common cold or a painful boil on his bottom or a bee sting on his neck, you must milk it for all it’s worth.
When a usually powerful, independent man puts himself into his wife’s hands and whimpers over a minor ailment, it can make her feel extremely powerful. She is likely to pander to his every whim, in a way that she never would were he healthy, because she knows that she’s totally in control.
“Don’t worry, my little pumpkin, Mama will take good care of you,” Maria will tell Arnold, as she spoonfeeds him his soup. And the most powerful man on the west coast of the US will murmur contentedly and hand over control of the state to the woman playing Florence Nightingale.
If Maria has any brains, she will authorise the state of California to conduct research into pain alleviation interventions for women giving birth, dignified and painless mammograms, and the ability of men to give birth.
Upon recovery, Arnold will probably agree to these requests, especially the last one, ridiculous though it may sound. You see, Arnold became pregnant and gave birth to a baby in his 1994 move Junior. Never mind that the film was named the second-worst comedy ever by a popular movie critic, Arnold must have some empathy with the suffering that many women experience during childbirth to have made such a movie in the first place.
If you’re wondering about the worst comedy ever made, it’s Little Nicky, starring Adam Sandler. But I digress.
A friend who is a nurse agrees that men and minor ailments can be a real pain. However, give a man a life-threatening disease, and chances are he will take his condition with quiet stoicism. In other words, presented with a cancerous organ, your typical male will not utter a single woe-is-me word, but give him an ingrown hair follicle and he will carp and complain to anyone within earshot.
To back up this argument, there is a phenomenon called Manflu that afflicts most men. The Urban Dictionary defines Manflu as “the condition shared by all males wherein a common illness (usually a mild cold) is presented by the patient as life-threatening”.
If you have never encountered a case of Manflu before, here is a list of symptoms, courtesy of www.manflu.org.uk:
● He cannot give you a concise breakdown of his symptoms and relies on “it hurts everywhere”.
● His is a competitive ailment, so if you point out you suffered from the same thing but struggled through and recovered, he responds: “Oh, but this is much worse.”
● He retreats to bed or the sofa and appears nervous at the thought of moving, especially when the word “work” is used or if the phrase “get it yourself” is used in anger.
● He may be found watching daytime TV programmes or his favourite football DVD.
● Men suffering from Manflu are often unable to carry out their normal chores. If challenged, they may sigh heavily, look martyred and state: “I am ill, you know.”
● The patient may also pore over an A-Z guide to health problems or trawl medical sites on the Internet, with a resulting rise in the number and severity of symptoms.
The belief that a man suffers more severely than a woman does when they are both down with the same strain of flu virus, has been the focus of much research. Indeed, scientists recently claimed that men suffer from Manflu because they have weaker immune systems than women that leave them more susceptible to infections.
I’m just wondering if any men would be open to popping oestrogen-based pills to shore up their immune systems. Personally, I hope not. All those accompanying monthly mood swings would be too much for the average woman to bear

lucky me

somehow, i missed him more than i can think of, even this is his third (fourth?) trip away.. everything at home runs smoothly.. i was fine, the boys were great.. no major panic alert.. and i miss him.. i thought i missed him the most when there are issues.. like when the aidan was sick in the middle of night, or the house MCB kept switched off and i have to turn it on, or when the TV set keep flickering and many more.. but, nothing like it now, this time.. so far..and still i want him to be around..

and just when i think i need him to be around, so that i can just talk to him about everything.. about how proud i was taking care of the families.. about how furious i was when people find it funny when aimar is being called as a horror-figure like (people, it's not funny!)..about daily gossips i will talk about when he's around.. whenever he is not around, i have to wait till there's a work requirement back in kl, so that i can talk and talk and talk with my best-mates over the early morning breakfast, lunch or during the trip to the 'supplier' sometimes..   and that was it.. i stayed 'silent' when i'm back in kemaman as i don't think gossiping with the boys will do any good.. but, i did sometimes.. and i stayed silent when aidan said "stupid driver kan mama... "... i stayed silent because he learned that from mama when mama decided to have a conversation by herself!.. gosh, for a person who needs to talk, it's not an easy life.. and i married to him.. and he 'physically' listens to me, whenever..so, i do miss him.

and today, when i miss him the most, he drop a FB event invitation.. dinner for two right after he reach KL, that would be the day before V-day.. we don't celebrate V-day as much as we think we don't need the day to remind us of our love.. yarr rriigghtt.. all men would say that, and i am one of the girl who falls into the trap!.. but i'm ok.. and the gestures he did with the invitation, super super romantic that i need to write it down in this blog of mine.. 

he is just a typical man. no sweet-tooth, no promises, not much of romantic gestures.. but he did what he did.. 

and after we got married, he may have not much time as he used to have.. or perhaps we got married and that's it.. but then, i stopped sending cards to him and stop buying gifts for him as well.. i guess, when we got married, we have this mutual understanding that things would be different, and no-more honeymooning as we wished for.. 

but then, once a while, when he prompt these gestures, i just knew i was so lucky to be in love with him..   
  

the battle she picked

she drove up with the kids.. half guilty as she need to leave the in-laws earlier, half hoping that this would be it.. the rezeki she was waiting for.. InsyaAllah..
she woke up early and prepared herself - with the black pants, the stripy white shirt and the black vest.. it was Sunday morn, and seven a.m. was early!..

and she reached her destination.. she was not nervous like the others.. she just want to try her luck.. if she was lucky enough..

then, her 'spy' told her.. the walk-in was 'impossible'.. the requirements were eight years and above experiences (and they did not stated the above range up to 20 years for the 'real' vacancies).. thousands of hoping candidates were there, and of course the hiring would be less than five percents of the registered hopeful candidates.. and what they didn't tell was that, once you were evaluated and did not succeed the walk-ins, no way you'll be invited for any future opportunities.. thanks to her 'spy'.. she walked-out.

and he told her "sometimes you need to pick your battle to win the war".. and that soothed her. she knew he was right and what she did was not wrong. she may be ambitious. she may have her reasons to aim for what she is aiming..she may put high hopes though she tried denying.. the time is just not right, yet. when it comes, it will come. God Permits, InsyaAllah.

for now, she will settle to where she is now, comfortably, conviniently.

preserving the moment

twas half past to midnight.. still early for those boys to stay awake and alive.. but, being the only decision maker at home when aboh is not around, i switched  off the TV and went in the room.. after loud screams, yells and cries, the adik decided to surrender and joined me.. abang, as always, did not complaint much.. i guess, after three hours of switching back and forth the playhouse disney, nickelodeon, disney channel and cartoon network, he opted to stay silent when mama decided to veto the remote.

there, five minutes then, three of us were on the bed.. in the dark.. and aimar broke the silence "gatal"... last month, before aboh went off for work, aimar still said "ka".. which means gatal/itch.. and means he need adult supervision to scratch him.. my boys (and i guess all kids out there) tend to 'create' their own language before they decided to use what we, adults, use. i still remember when my cousin called me all the way from kl central because aidan was crying and wanted some "wak".. that's chocolate for him..and of course when aimar called himself "ma" he meant aimar and "mama" is me!..  in times, they fit in, using the words adults could understand.. and the "bebe" aidan used to call now clearly become slipper..

back to our "lying on the bed" scene, i asked the boys if they would be happy to have a younger brother / sister.. aidan said yes immediately.. of course he has been brainwashed that mama wants a younger sister, and so does he.. aimar - without doubt - said "no"... trying to convince him hard by telling everybody wants new addition in the family.. he insisted in saying "no"...

how i wish my dear hubby is there, lying next to us.. i was smiling away with aimar's reaction.. he is so determined to be the only adik in the family.. and he is only two! yes, when aboh come home, we will definitely prompt the question back to him.. just like i did this morning.. and he will still say "no".. but the moment i had last night, with the boys, talking about how nice to have a new baby, how cool life would be, bla bla bla..and today, when i woke up in the morning, and as i'm writing this, i still wish my hubby was with us last night.. poor him.. all out there, by himslef, working his ass off and missing the moment... of course, there's more moment to come.. still...

and these smart boys of mine.. they will grow up and grow out.. they will stop sleeping on the same bed as me..and how i wish i could freeze time...

a click too late

when i started this blog, my intention is to directly expressed what i feel and think, yet being as discreet as possible so that i will indirectly 'hurt' the people i bitched about.. and i could have care less what they feel...

today, as much as i'm trying to be discreet as possible, as much as i've been back-spacing words i've typed, i just don't give a damn..

i received a blardy stupid work-email last friday when i was on sick leave, in reponse to me forwarding an email to the person in charge and CCing to the bossess.. the simple yet hurtful, nope - not hurtful - more than stupid respond was "I also got the same email from ****. You dint had to forward back to me by CCing others and feel great as always. I know my job. If you think i am not good, you can take over my position."
Nope, I'm not being discreet and i don't give a damn.. if the person is reading this, he know i meant him..yes.. you know that is your own wordings.. no amendment made!.. and to all readers out there, how professional is that? you don't have to know the background story, or even i was a bitch (and feel great as always), what sane mind can anyone send a work-email to another collegues in such tone.. bad bad english!

i was just a click away to reply to that bugger, when i found out the big taiko is in the picture. so, we had a long monday morning sermon... of course, the taiko is trying his hard to be as 'reasonable' and even-handed as possible.. but, i knew i was 'winning'.. i may be aggressive (the nicer word of putting it besides 'bitch')...but i'm not stupid.. the mistake the bugger did, not even close to stupid, just plain dumb moron would think such things..

he said "i'm sorry.. as i told you M***.. i wrote the email yesterday, and didn't intend to send it out.. then the next morning, i came in, and the outlook send out the email automatically"... ok.. i might have 'fabricate' the sentence to make him look bad.. but, that's what i heard coming from his mouth.. and as if that is very ttrrruuueee... and when he said this, he didn't look at me, so he was not addressing it to me.. only until towards the end, when the taiko ask us to be 100% professional and asked if he got anything to say, he said "i'm sorry".. and still talking to himself.. and the taiko said "tell it to her"...


with what he has done, he supposed to be crucified, thrown with fire balls from Ben-10 heatblast, rolled over and over again by 30 tonnes monster truck..... but again, when he said sorry, though he didn't say it to me at the first place (still being the bastard of him) and only until the big taiko asked him indirectly to apologise to me.. it still didn't pay enough!..but, to think of it.. some idiot is showing to all the bossess that he's an idiot.. what else could i ask for more?..... sweet revenge..

to men or not to men

i grew up in a man-less family..

my gramps (of my mum's) were blessed with eleven kids, of which five daughters and three sons.. wait, that don't tally up to eleven - oh yea, one daugher and one son were given away to childless relative and another son died at young age. now, out of twenty-one cousins, six are boys..

two of my aunts, decided to get married to the husbands of theirs, and got daughters of their own...just to leave the wives and kids by themselves.. nada.. the mis-used 'previlage' of polygamy.. got hooked up, married..ta-da.. kids of which will need to use their name to register in birth cert and the rest is history. having the toughts the wives will be in great shape, taken care by their nieces and sisters, i guess the husbands forgot how should a husband be, and how should a father acts.

then, i met my hubby..

got married and was blessed with two smart boys (for now). my house, my car, my everything surrounded with boys toys.. none others.. planning for birthday bashes, with no dash of pinks everywhere, sometime can be frustrating..

and as time mature with our age, i heard so many real-life stories.. my bff's husband cheated on her for other woman, my bff's good friend was harrased by crazy 70-year-old freak, another bff doubted her boyfriend (with 'valid' reason).. and so many more about how women cannot trust men.. 100%..as my favourite blogger (the red scoot) wrote in her blog - men are brainless beast.. ouch... looking back on her experiences with men, we can't blame her for being such a feminist..she deserves to feel what she felt..

am not saying my hubby is a saint.. he is the angel of my heart, of course.. (and he told me i'm the hottest chic, still.. yea.., i don't know why i want to write this, but i still want to!).. but this hubby of mine is a jewel.. and i must have done something good in my prior life that i was blessed to be married to him.. am not trying to brag to the world, as we never know what will happen in future.. we can't predict that.. but, as long as we both keep reminding ourself on each other's expectation, as long as we both try our very best to cater each other's requirement.. InsyaAllah, we'll do all-right..

having to raise two boys of my own, i must keep reminding them to grow as a real gentle-man.. don't just grow up as a man.. 

God created men and women for reasons, and yet to be known.. nowadays, men and women don't really compliment each other.. of course we need sperm and ovum to bring a life to the world, but that's it..women are strong enough to raise kids of their own like my aunts.. women are tough enough to live in the world without men.. as for men, i can't speak on their behalf.. their egos always speak for themselves.. how truth the fact is, beyond my thinking..

i remember what my hubby told me.. i asked him to help with the TV cables and he asked me to do it myself.. which in return, my reply was "if i started to learn how to do it myself, what do i need you for?".. and i was left in silence when he replied me a smart answer "i don't want you to need me..i want you to want me".. wah-la-wei...

i guess, when men and women want each other, then only we can relate.. else, we will take advantage with each other.. and most of the time, men wouldn't mind being the beast they can be, to take advantage on what they need, not what they want.

some points to ponder...

Guilty as Charged

i'm in a guilt trap.. i can't believe my eyes are filled with tears,out of guilt.. 
it's the third day of school.. aidan missed his class yesterday as we were in kl, sending off his aboh to work.. and i managed to wake up at 4am in the morning, so that we arrived just in time for aidan to go to school this morning.. and he is one tired boy.. called up his babysitter - she said he could hardly finished his milk and dozed off.. then, came in this phone call from my boss.. i have to come down to kl.. meeting needs to attend!.. arrgghh.. which means aidan is going to miss school for the next two days.. and there goes my new years' wishlist - to make aidan not to miss school as often as he did last year because mama has to work outstation...


whenever there is chance and opportunity for me to go to kl for work and meetings, i always love it.. but not today.. today, i felt so guilty to my son.. i owe it to him.. he was the gift for His Almighty Allah to us.. and i was supposed to be responsible enough to raise him well, to cater for his needs, to educate him, to educate him, to educate him and of course to be there for him.. and today, he is missing his school,just like previously, because mama has to travel, so does him..


leaving him with the babysitter or anybody else besides my parents or my parent-in-law would never be an option. my parents are back in KL.. and my MIL is in KT.. my only choice is to bring him and his little brother along.. a long 3-hours journey, a tiring trip for those two little boys..


what more can i do? asking for a transfer? i guess i really need to think of that option.. i just can't bear aidan is missing school because mama has to work.. i've been repeating myself over and over and over again.. but still, i am partly to be blame for him missing his school..


i really need to sort this things out!

two-O-one-O

it's a wet friday new year morning.. like every other morning, nothing special with this morning.. ooppss.. i forgot.. it is new year back in Kemaman.. and i have to work.. agghh... and this is why i'm in this blog page.. i just can't compute with doing work when everybody else is not. ok, some of us have to work, just like me. talking about new year, new you, new resolutions, new everything.. i have stopped counting after aimar, my second precious, was born.. i lost track of time and date. so, enough said, don't bother asking what would my resolution be.. i never believe in that. i never care to make any attempt to achieve, so, what's best than not having any?
back at home, we got new 42" panasonic plasma tv, and felt like watching those TVs that were displayed at the shops..it was great, and i love it.. aidan love it too.. what else is new with me? i love my new pink carlo rino and silver sole lovers..two great possessions of mine that i bought lately and love it, love it, love it.... so in love with them.. that pink carlo rino is so cool.. that i don't care no matter how official or casual i dressed up, it fits the picture.. how can i not in love with it? and that silver sole lovers... my one and only 3" silver inch, and it feels so good to be 'that' tall.. i guess those people who is blessed with height really needs to endeavour the advatange they have.. i even managed to help one of the watson's customer to get the body wash of the highest rack (which i don't understand why they put the ladies' stuff up high at the first place) and feel so proud of myself.. the silver sole lovers so chic and beyond future.. how can i not in love with it?

back to two-o-one-o, aidan would be five and aimar would be three. need to put serious thoughts in aidan's schooling.. he must at least know how to read by end of the year, hopefully. and as aimar, my aim would be nappy-free.. really hope he can be potty-trained by October.. and having 'reliogiously' hoping that i could materialize my wish to be nearer to where i 'should' belong, hope to be receiving good news by mid of the year.. else, as i personally think, it's time for my baby... hmmm...we see how.. this is not resolution, this is what i intend to achieve.. hmm.. what am i mumbling about?

this year, march 2010, would be our ten years anniversary, knowing each other, falling madly in love, and still deeply in love till today.. hahahahah.. i do, i love him.. i was laughing because of the word madly and deeply..in times, we kinda forget how we once used to be 


hmm..

too deep..

guess should stop right now.. else, i'll be starting the year with everything and nothing.