Tuesday, May 15, 2018

PRU14 - not really..

And so, cerita tentang PRU14 tak habis lagi.
I just need to write this post, so that, nanti bila anak2 dah start nak follow and baca blog mama, I want anak2 mama to know, this is meant for you to read and understand kuasa Allah.
Semalam, Tun M angkat sumpah for the second time as the PM of Malaysia.
Ok, I stopped writing and I don't remember what I want to tell my kids.
For whatever, I remembered telling the boys how proud I was being a Malaysian when Tun M was the PM. And yes, I was ashamed of Najib's 1MDB agenda and his China's pact..for what ever!

I was telling them, the struggled I went through in explaining where Malaysia was when I was in the UK for the first time. It was 1995. My college was an international college that have students from all over the places. So, Malaysia was no strange to the students. There were 11 of us and we have about 10 senior students above us. I remembered how colourful and joyful the International Nights we had in the college. The kitchen lady picked laksa as the soup of the day for dinner and we, Malaysian, performed some Malay dance and sketches proudly and hit the floor! It was fantastic. But, the college was the only place who knew who and where Malaysia was at that time. The college was located two hours away from the city, in the deep end of a Bristol Channel and in an isolated castle-turn-college in Llantwit Major (yup, even pronouncing it the first time was weird). The college encouraged students to get involved with the communities. We have children came to the children's farm, where I was in-charge as I was in the Estate Service. We went to the nearby school to tutor students and we also went to the old folks' house to entertain the retirees. I remembered it wasn't easy explaining to the local where Malaysia is at that time. They knew Singapore and Thailand, but Malaysia?? They gave us a blank stare. I remembered being thrown oranges peels by local high-schoolers in a public bus. The bus conductor saw and told them to apologize. They did and one of them asked me 'are you Chinese?' I said 'No, I'm a Malay Malaysian'. They said they were sorry as they hate Chinese and thought I was Chinese. And the next question they asked 'What is it you were from? Malay-something?'

I saw the different in less than 2 years in the UK. In 1997, most people knew where Malaysia is. 'O, the Twin Towers!' And that was enough!

It's sad when we read in the news, bits by bits, on the corruption done by 1MDB, the 'land sell-off' to PRC, the debts the country is making, the MO1, the Jho Lo and all... It's very distressful.

Yup, just like 1997, in 2017 Malaysia made the news again... the country who has such corrupt leaders.
My dear anak3 mama,
When I started this post, I want to write about legacy, about victory, about orang betul akan menang juga akhirnya..

But not now.
I'm not writing it now.

Nanti, if you've got the chance and time, learn your history. Learn who is Mahathir. Know who is Najib. Understand who is Anuar.

Being a Risik-5 daughter who read so many reports from the Raja Bahrin's, Memali's, PENGKOM's and all.. I heard so many stories first-hand from my dear abah. He's a walking library for me who has so many 'interesting' stories to share. We (the family) was once being 'paid' by CIA to become the government baits, which of course, at the end, the CIAs officers failed in their mission and was turned to the government for action to be taken lah kan.. Our life then was so lavish. We went to most of the 5-star ratings hotels for dinners and lunches. We checked-ins for the pools. We even became the member of the prestigious club house in KL. We live the rich lifestyle. Until my dear abah has sufficient evidence to turn the culprit to the government, we were back to 'normal' life. In his position, my dear abah can be as corrupt as he wanted, or as we wanted.. just to fulfill our lavish lifestyle. I remember asking him when I understand the whole scenario, 'kenapa abah tak amik je offer diorang...boleh duduk kat oversea lepas tu..glamour oo'... and his words was deep, 'Ain, rezeki ni bukan depa tentukan. Kalau makan duit haram, memang sedap, tapi jadi darah daging. Tanggungjawab abah bagi rezeki kat anak bini. Kalau haram abah bagi, haram lah yang mengalir dalam darah daging ain dan adik-adik,sampai bawak ke anak cucu cicit. Nauzubillah! Biarlah tak dapat gi hotel selalu, janji rezeki kita halal. Sebab rezeki halallah, Allah mudahkan anak-anak abah. Ain boleh belajar sampai oversea. Semua anak-anak boleh hidup dengan selesa. Itu cukup dah.Lagipun, abah tak sanggup jual negara. PM kita dan yang lain-lain banyak berkorban naikkan nama negara..hina paling hina kalau kita jual negara kita'

Itu pegawai kerajaan yang ikhlas makan gaji masa zaman Mahathir.
And yup, he was good in his work, but he didn't retire as a general.. I told him, he worked hard but not smart! He said he would rather not get the rank than had to 'polish' some politicians' ass. Not that all generals polished the higher-ups' assess..but we knew how it's like, then and even now. Itu manusia.
For whatever, we picked our path.
Nak yang baik, kita dapat baik.
Nak yang senang, Allah bagi senang.
Ingan ayat Allah. Ash-Shams ayat 8-10.
Faalhama fujuroha watakwaha. Serta mengilhamkannya jalan yang membawa kepada kejahatan dan membawanya kepada bertakwa;
Qod aflaha man zakkaha. Sesungguhnya berjayalah orang yang menjadikan dirinya yang sedia bersih bertambah-tambah bersih.
Waqod khoba man dassaha. Dan sesungguhnya hampalah orang yang menjadikan dirinya yang sedia bersih itu susut dan terbenam kebersihannya.

Nanti, when you understand politics, baca sejarah 9th May 2018..PRU14.
Baca struggle nak jujur.
Baca halangan nak menang.
Baca dorongan nak betul.
Dan faham kuasa Allah.

Hasbunallah wa nikmal wakiil...

For whatever, ingat, Allah As-Samii Al-Basir.
Waasirru qaulakum awijharu bih. Innahu alimu bizatis sudur.
Dia tahu. Kita sembunyikan, kita suarakan, Dia tahu apa yang ada di dalam dadamu.

Jaga hati biar bersih, niat betul..
Jadilah khalifah yang sepatutnya kami jadi.

Tuesday, May 1, 2018


we are all.

we wanted people to be treat us good
yet we are the one who was being sarcastic to others,
and when we were told of why we did what we did
we blamed others they were being too emotional;

we told people to respect our opinion
yet we are the one who mocked others' view,
and when we were told that we shouldn't do what we did
we started to respond with the word 'but';

we criticized people for not being in the same page with us
yet we are the one who was looking at a different page at a different time,
and when we were told that we got the wrong page
we got defensive and dissatisfied over things we don't really understand.

and the list goes on.

jangan sombong
jangan takbur

watawwa saubil haq
watawwa saubil sobr
watawwa saubil marhamah

tapi sebelum kau nak nasihat dengan benar, dengan sabar, dengan kasih;
nasihat diri kau dulu.