I don’t have good capacity of storing memories - Perhaps it’s because I talked too much. Hence, I knew it is best for me to write down whatever and however I want it to be so that there’ll be one fine day, when the kids started missing mama, aboh and their childhood memories, they could just log in and stay in silent in the dark corner of their own space and start reading the blog mama wrote!
Last year, Nov 2019, my eldest wrote me a long text. He said he wanted to start a blog for himself. He wanted to write his experience being in a hostel, two hours away from home which was a different environment from how we raised him.
I supported his idea. Indeed, I was ecstatic hearing his idea! I told him that I’ll him out once he’d be at home!
24-hours after that, he texted me. He said he wrote the draft of his first blog and he wanted me to read it and comment! I was elated!! Being a teenage boy who always seems to hate the world he lived in, he was serious about blogging. I asked him to send the draft right away.
beep..beep..
A whatsapp message came in!
It was the draft! I read it right away and I cried. I logged in my blog site and turned it to private reading right away!
Last year, Nov 2019, my eldest wrote me a long text. He said he wanted to start a blog for himself. He wanted to write his experience being in a hostel, two hours away from home which was a different environment from how we raised him.
I supported his idea. Indeed, I was ecstatic hearing his idea! I told him that I’ll him out once he’d be at home!
24-hours after that, he texted me. He said he wrote the draft of his first blog and he wanted me to read it and comment! I was elated!! Being a teenage boy who always seems to hate the world he lived in, he was serious about blogging. I asked him to send the draft right away.
beep..beep..
A whatsapp message came in!
It was the draft! I read it right away and I cried. I logged in my blog site and turned it to private reading right away!
My mother runs a blog. A lot of readers. Quite well known. And if you search in my current school’s name, scroll down and you find a bunch of blogs about my experience back in zzz.
The stories about my mother’s blog spread fast. ”Kau tahu tak mak xxx ade blog…macam2 ada”
People started to tease me about the blogs. “Alahh…jangan koyak dan, nanti mak kau buat blog kang,” was what I usually heard when I get upset about something. The joke about the blogs stopped around October 2018.
Fast forward to early 2019, people started to rediscover the blogs. I usually tell them to get away from me. Bla bla bla. JDM and everything else happened.
August, they started calling “barua” for something they even know the truth to. “Barua” became a label to me to the point when you think of me, you think of “barua”
I cried for days!!!!
Makan diri!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Being a mom, I felt so bad for putting my son in his situation. Kids are just cruel by nature!
I stopped writing then - and here I am.. missing writing the journey of life, my life , my beloved family, about life and anything.
But I always find it something that I missed so much. It’s addictive.
And so here I am - to start anew, a better one, Insyaallah and so I pray, Amiin.
I've revert those conflicting blog about his experience and few others to draft.
Perhaps while he is still schooling, I'll let it be.
And for now, I just have so much to tell.
Where do I start?
