'Adala

 While studying my fiqh subject for tomorrow's final, I read upon this

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And wanted to keep this post here for reminder untuk anak-anak bujang mama yang bakal jadi suami nanti. Be just! Berdosa kalau tak do just to your wife.. and to be just is not easy! It's just being fair or just fulfilling obligations... it's more than one can think of! 

Get it prepared before you are thinking of getting married. Will be able to be just to my wife? Will I even able to be just myself? 
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Nah sharing direct verses in the Quran about marriage

The Quran discusses marriage in several verses, providing guidance and principles for marital relationships. Here are some of the key verses that directly address marriage:

Surah An-Nisa (4:1): This verse emphasizes the importance of family ties and the creation of spouses from a single soul.

"O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed, Allah is ever, over you, an Observer."

Surah An-Nisa (4:3): This verse discusses the permissibility and conditions of polygamy.

"And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice]."

Surah Ar-Rum (30:21): This verse highlights the purpose and beauty of marriage.

"And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought."

Surah An-Nur (24:32): This verse encourages marriage and assures that Allah will provide for those who marry.

"And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty. And Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing."

Surah Al-Baqarah (2:221): This verse advises against marrying polytheists.

"And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember."

Surah Al-Baqarah (2:232): This verse addresses the issue of divorced women and their rights to remarry.

"And when you divorce women and they have [nearly] fulfilled their term, do not prevent them from remarrying their [former] husbands if they agree among themselves on an acceptable basis. That is instructed to whoever of you believes in Allah and the Last Day. That is better for you and purer, and Allah knows and you know not."

These verses provide a framework for understanding the Islamic perspective on marriage, emphasizing the importance of justice, mercy, affection, and the mutual rights and responsibilities of spouses.

Qana'ah, to be content

This sem, KIU put tazkiyah an-nafs as part of sem 5 syllabus. 

Banyak benda tazkiyah an-nafs ni yang kita rasa kita tahu, tapi sebenarnya banyak lagi yang kita tak tahu. 

Kita tahu kita kena rasa content (cukup), kita kena sabar dan jangan bersedih. 

Tapi kita pun tahu benda tu tak mudah.. 

Nak rasa cukup.. peghh... kita dok nak lebih nak lebih nak lebih, tak pernah rasa cukup. 

Tak mudah nak rasa cukup. 

Qana'ah, قناعة, being content, strongly rooted from the pillars of eeman, believing in qadaa' and qadr Allah.

It revolves around few aspects: 

1. Gratitude and Appreciation: recognizing and being thankful for the blessings one already possesses. 

 وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ وَلَئِن كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِي لَشَدِيدٌ

"And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, 'If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.'"[Ibrahim14:7]

2. Moderation and Simplicity: Embracing a simple lifestyle and avoiding excessive desires and materialism 

وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا أَنفَقُوا لَمْ يُسْرِفُوا وَلَمْ يَقْتُرُوا وَكَانَ بَيْنَ ذَٰلِكَ قَوَامًا

"And [they are] those who, when they spend, do so not excessively or sparingly but are ever, between that, [justly] moderate." [Al-Furqan 25:67]

3. Inner Peace: reducing anxiety and stress related to material pursuits and comparisons with others.

Rasulullah SAW said, "He has succeeded who has accepted Islam, who has been provided with sufficient for his wants, and whom Allah has made content with what He has given him." [ Sahih Muslim]

4. Trust in Divine Provision: connected with Tawakkul (trust in God). 

قُل لَّن يُصِيبَنَا إِلَّا مَا كَتَبَ اللَّهُ لَنَا هُوَ مَوْلَانَا وَعَلَى اللَّهِ فَلْيَتَوَكَّلِ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ

"Say, 'Never will we be struck except by what Allah has decreed for us; He is our protector.' And upon Allah let the believers rely." [At-Tawbah 9:51]

5. Self-Control and Discipline: requires self-discipline to control desires and avoid being swayed by societal pressures or consumerism.

فَمَا أُوتِيتُم مِّن شَيْءٍ فَمَتَاعُ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا ۖ وَمَا عِندَ اللَّهِ خَيْرٌ وَأَبْقَىٰ لِلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَلَىٰ رَبِّهِمْ يَتَوَكَّلُونَ

"So whatever thing you have been given - it is [but] for enjoyment of the worldly life. But what is with Allah is better and more lasting for those who have believed and upon their Lord rely." [Ash-Shura 42:36]

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Nak rasa cukup ni tak mudah ~ especially untuk anak muda yang masih belum puas nak hidup.. rasa semua tak dapat lagi... rasa semua belum ada lagi... 

Untuk anak-anak mama, mama pesan, kita pernah takde benda, 4 tahun apa takde income, yet, we survived. If you guys forgotten about that time, let me remind you again and again.. it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy. Alhamdulillah, nasib baik adik-beradik aboh ada, nasib baik kekawan mama cakna. Mashaallah, tak pernah kita rasa tak cukup waktu. 

Rasa cukup ni, bukan lah bermakna kita tinggal dunia, tak perlu usaha untuk rezeki. Usaha itu masih kena usaha. Cita-cita itu mesti mau ada. Ikatkan balik cita-cita dan harapan itu pada Allah. Bukan pada dunia.... as simple as ko nak gi cari ilmu... 'ya allah, aku nak gi belajar, nak dapat good income, good life, untuk Engkau Ya Allah, untuk hidup beribadah mengabdikan diri padaMu, untuk bantu ummah, untuk Islam. cukupkanlah aku, Ya Allah.'

Niat, usaha, eeman, yakin, tawakkal. 

Cukup. 

Rasulullah SAW said, "Richness is not having many possessions, but richness is being content with oneself."

Sakit putus cinta

Sambung citer pasal cinta.. 
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Puppy love, cinta monyet and all sorts.. labellah apa pun nak label. 

At this age, somehow I am still 'blushing' thinking about it. 

Cinta tu best! Masa courting time waktu bercinta tu lagi-lagi best... 

Dulu, memang tak paham konsep halal haram syaitan sunnah semua ni... Tahu, tapi tak mahu faham. Main terjah je ikut nafsu. 

Aidan pernah jatuh cinta... Mama tahu pun secara tak sengaja. Rasa nak dekat SPM kot baru bercinta... bila naik form 5. Tapi, lepas tu, masa amik result SPM, keadaan not as per planned.. Ada konflik, ada disagreement yang masing-masing hard-headed, takleh nak resolved  and it came to its end. 

Mama takmo komen panjang, takmo citer panjang... mama pick-up mana yang mama nampak dan 'rasa'. Kalau salah nampak and rasa mama, salah lah. 

Mama tak tahu citer belah pompuan ~ tapi Mama tengok bila Aidan sedih, mama jadi sedih. Perit bila putus cinta. Tambah-tambah bila ko rasa memang ko betul-betul sayang kat org tu.. bila ko rasa takde orang lain dah boleh bagi ko rasa cinta macam yang dia bagi.. Bila putus cinta, tak kisahlah for whatever reason, ko yang putuskan ke, dia yang mintak putus ke... tapi confirm ko sedih sebab ko sayang. 

Yup, ko akan move on. Ko mungkin akan balik semula pada dia. Atau kau mungkin akan jumpa lain... yang kau akan jumpa, mungkin itu jodoh kekal ko.. atau mungkin juga kau akan disakiti dan terus mencari cinta. 

Nak citer pasa putus cinter, not in this post. 

This time, Mama nak citer wearing my Mama's hat. Honestly, I just wished I could hug Aidan knowing that he is in pain sebab sakit putus cinta. Dengar lagi listing spotify dia.. "Jika kau bercinta lagi...." alahai... terus Mama cakap dalam hati, "AbgDan, mama know you are strong. But Mama also wants you to know, sometimes, all you have to do is cry it out loud!"

Dulu, masa kat primary, waktu Daniel and Siddiq lebih rapat dengan Aisar sampai tak baper nak geng ngan Aidan, Aidan sedih, Aidan nangis tepi longkang waktu sampai kat kete.. Mama tanya, "naper, bang?"... Aidan cakap, "Aidan sendiri tak tahu. Aidan sedih je sebab orang ignore Aidan."

Waktu tu, mama cakap, "nangis lah bang. lepas ni, you'll do good. takpe lah diorang ignore Aidan ke or not. ada kawan lain boleh kawan aidan gak. nanti-nanti diorang kawan gak ngan Aidan. just keep on being good to everyone."

And so, now, though it involves girl, a special girl that you were smitten by.. Mama nak pesan yang sama... nangis lah bang. lepas ni, AbgDan will do good. AbgDan mungkin akan jumpa balik dia, baik balik dengan dia, sambing balik cinta yang terputus. Atau AbgDan memang mungkin tak terus contact dia, tak tahu apa citer dia... masa tu, biarkan lah dia. tak yah kejar dah bang. Takmo nanti, AbgDan sendiri yang terluka sampai bila-bila. Hati yang dah luka tu, cepat-cepat sembuhkan. AbgDan nak jaan jauh lagi, nak jumpa ramai lagi orang, Inshaallah.. kalau tak masa kat university nanti, masa kerja pun akan jumpa ramai lagi manusia. 

Jodoh tu AbgDan, bukan kita tentukan. Semua dah Allah qadrkan. Kita kena selalu doa.. semoga dapat jodoh yang baik-baik.. dapat orang yang betul-betul cinta kita, kerana Allah Ta'ala. Cinta adanya kita atas segala apa yang Allah bagi kat kita, takdirkan untuk kita. Cintalah dia yang cinta Allah lebih dari segalanya. 

Mama takkan putus doa untuk anak-anak... semoga kalian bertemu cinta bahagia yang akan bawak kalian kumpul ramai-ramai di Jannah. Allahumma ameen.