Peri-menopause

I'm wondering if men would have the same pre-menopause symptoms like we women have. 
It's unbelievably out-of-this-world symptoms I would say. 
I am struggling ~ and not sure when it will end. 
Rozi told me, it might took a year two... o mai!

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The menses are unpredictable. Kadang datang cepat, kadang senyap tetibe. Kadang banyak, kadang malu-malu. Gosh.. I'm not complaining. 

And the headache and backache would accompany them. 

Lepas tu, the new symptons I'm getting now is tak boleh tido.. melampau-lampau takleh tido, and also kepanasan bagai nak rak.. 

Hot flash or hot flush, whatever they would call it, is real!

Subhanallah... I would blame the hot weather for me feeling hot.. yet, during the cold days, the feeling of sangat panas, burning, is there to stay.. so, proven, it's not the weather! it's me!!!

huhuhuhuh

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I had my menses quite late as compared as my other friends. I was 15, if I wasn't mistaken. 

So, I'm not surprised if Aivey still not getting it at the age of 13 while many of her friends had had their menses. 

Due to that, I'm not expecting the symptom of perimenopause at the early age of 47yo! Yo!!!.. not until I'm 50. At least, that's what I thought it 'should' be.. 

wallahu'alam ~ Allah knows best. 

Subhanallah.. the sign that we don't belong to ourselves.. even the blood circulating in our body is not within our control. 

Subhanallah... 

Indeed, to Him we belong. 

So, what makes us disobey Him?

No more "because I say so"

A friend did asked me if I would allow Aivey to wear nail polish, if she felt like it. Aivey was only 6 at that time.. I couldn't give an answer to her immediately, which then I said, "maybe not."
And she asked me more, "why don't you? you could wear it, why couldn't she?"

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agghh... it's not fair!

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Parenting is never easy. As time passes by, we as parents who had gone so much, did so many mistakes, and witnessed the wisdom of being wiser from the foolishness of our past, we just want to prepare the best life hack, life short-cuts to our children... 

So, yes, I did wear nail polish when I was young.. why must I allow Aivey to wear it, and she'll get comfortable with it, and would think she need it rather just for the fun of it... then, she would learn to make her prayers, and would spend time cleaning out the nail polish and in times, as she gets too comfortable with the nail polish, she might even opt not to pray for that would be a easier (rather than better) option... O no!! Of course I would not want Aivey to go up to that hell... it's devastating!!

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What I'm telling is that, I have done so many mistakes in my past. If I could, I wouldn't want to make such mistakes. But we all know it's impossible. 

Now that I have children of my own, I just don't want them to walk that mistakes path of mine... I couldn't bear it! Na'udzubillah.... 

When Aidan, Aimar, Aivey were just babies, toddlers, tweens and pre-teens, it's easier for me to be authoritative over them. 'Because U said so.' 'Because I'm your mom..' and all those no-negotiations mumsy orders... 

And time passes.. the boys and Aivey are growing up, venturing their own lives and wanting to have their own options of experiences... 
I wish I could say No ~ but the choice is all up to them. 
They could even hide it from me, if they knew I would not approved it. And I don't want them to hide it. I want them to be frank, open up and tell no lies but truth. So, I won't deny their choice, be it a bad choice in my view and opinions (and experience)... but as long as the choice they picked don't deviate from what Islam is teaching and rulings... I would need to learn to respect it. 

I guess, when our kids are growing bigger, and older, our reliance in Allah Al-Hafidz, As-Somad is soo much much much more greater and stronger than we could have imagine. 

Fallahu khayran hafidzan, wa hua arham ar-rahimiin. 

Ya Allah, keep them close to You, Ya Allah. and let them be put You closest in them. Ameen. 

For now, I'd say the same ~ observe your salah, don't miss it at all... leave what is haram, and do what is pleasing to Allah. 

May Aidan Aimar Aivey always be in His guidance, Allahumma ameen.