The art in me

Last weekend, Aina got engaged. Aina is the youngest of AyahNgahZul's, my hubby's uncle from Mi's side. 

I'm not gonna talk about AyahNgahZul.. lemme reserved that nanti. 

But, I felt like writing about the pipe cleaner mini flower that I've crafted myself for Aina's goodies deco. Alhamdulillah. It was an honour bila AyahNgah texted me asking for help. AyahNgah ni, taste dia high class sikit.. almaklumlah, orang kerja ngan kerabat Terengganu lama sangat.. so, he is a very particular man, especially bila bab deco2 ni.. So, when he assigned me the task, of course I am honoured. Alhamdulillah. 

I am no crafty person. I failed my art when I was 13 years old, and I never failed anything in my exams.. not before that, and even after that! So, you can imagine how real the trauma is! 

Orang selalu cakap, tak mungkin ada orang akan fail paper art... indeed, i did!

Ingat lagi, Abah sampai kena gi sekolah, ckp ngan Cikgu cammana nak make sure I didn't fail lagi sebab I refused to eat and berkurung dalam bilik sebab depressed.. ngada2, kan?

hahaha

Ok, back to my craft skills.. which i don't have any, I started to learn bit by bit when I realised I have so much time at home while my kids were at school. Nope, I don't cook and or clean the house.. Don't ask me how, but I'm thankful and grateful Alhamdulillah for husband like mine who never expected anything out of me when it comes to house chores. 

So, I learned from the internet on how to do such such deco and bunga, because I wanted to. Yet, when I attempted to do bunga telur for my cousin Tasha's wedding, with them being midnight blue, using the stockings flowers skills, there were conflicts. I bought premium material, so that it would turned out beautifully. I made one sample and got over excited. 

Somehow, my joy was not being shared.. I was like syok sendiri, when most of other cousins, Sanizah and my sister, Yeen didn't find it attractive. In a way, their responds were like, it was not beautiful, and would ruin the 'reputation' if we were to give it to the VIPs.. ok, I was being unfair.. they didn't say it directly.. but that's how they implied it.. they even bought other expensive goodies to replace my VIPs bunga telur.. (which if they would show it to me, I could crafted it for cheaper price)....  Since I've bought all the items, so, I decided to proceed, and gave it to Tasha... I have no interest to know how they felt and to whom the bunga telur were given to. Takpe lah.. masa tu, my husband was not working, and itu kira dah mahal habis, me using my savigns, to contribute to her happy days. An appreciation that I intended untuk Mamiton for raising me all this while. 

So, I guess, I really don't have 'taste' in craft. My colour combinations was pelik, and tak cantik. 

And that's how I think of me and craft. 

Less that I know, ramai yang boleh appreciate my craft. Masa teachers' day, ramai teachers happy with the gifts I crafted and gave them... exclusive dengan penuh kasih sayang. 

And here's another one... not back for a person who has no background in whatsoever when it comes to craft.. and even failed her art exam in school. 

I guess, it's true.. art is subjective. 

 

keeping this one, for ol' time sakes. 

 

so random

The weather is cloudy this morning... 

I guess, that puts me in a mood of writing. 

I want to write about something, that could tell everything, but I just don't know what would be the best thing to write about, and my mind were telling me just write anything, which end up, i wrote nothing. 

hahaha

what a trick!

...

let's talk about love. 

we had Aina's engagement day over the weekend. 

Aina was only 9 years old when I first met her. 

And here she was, a beautiful 29 years old young lady, falling in love. 

and being in love would always be the best thing. 

but, of course, it does come a package.. 

a feeling of annoyance, madness, sadness, anxious, envious, doubts and many more. 

that gives the flavour to love. 

would it make it sweeter? 

or saltier?

or just sour? 

it depends.. it changes every time we chew it. 

even in one spoonfeed, the taste changes.. 

if it's love, you knew it when you knew it. 

...

so, how do we love someone for Allah's sake?

it's not merely what the words utter. 

there were times, things didn't work out. 

there were times, it gets overboard. 

there were times, everything was on top of the hill. 

i never knew the idea of 'for Allah's sake' .. not when I was young. 

i had crush in school, and it was unrequited. 

on the other hand, a cute ustadz boy in the class next door, whom my good friend had crushed on, confessed to me that he has a crush on me ~ no way! i like him, but you don't betray your friend.. 

and so, i just steered everything away.. and there were few bad boys, cute ones, who i tried to lure. 

not genuinely true to my feelings, it was just because i need someone to do chores for me, and i knew they would. they did have feelings on me, but what the heck!

yup, i smashed few hearts.. 

and i thought i found one good one for  me. 

five years in relationship, i thought things were doing great, only to find out he cheated on me. 

after all the cash that i've wasted on him! damn it!! at times of writing this, i still have that grudges and i still would want to tell him, if killing is permissible, he would be the first person i'd be looking for to kill with my own bare hands!

alhamdulillah, i found my love because of the betrayal. 

i guess, sweet lesson always comes after bad ones. 

...

and here we are, after 20 years, 

as shania twain would put it, 

"you're still the one i run to, the one that i belong to, you're still the one i kiss goodnight"

alhamdulillah.. 

dare not, the turmoils will still be there, and that shouldn't be the reason for you to get off the plane. 

just stay onboard. 

adhere to the safety rulings. 

wear your seatbelt. 

remember Allah

and that's how you put up with love. 

...

while you are young, don't bother venture love, if you have no intention to get married next week. 

yes, i used not to believe that marriage would work before we get to know each other and fell in love. 

but that's what made me gone through all the ingenuity and lies through out my path of love. 

if you were to ask me now, should we get married first , then fall in love, i'd say "yes, pls do!"
my faith wasn't affirmed previously, and rest assured, i believe Allah Al-Haq now and love will find it way, Lillahitaalla. 

Halal love always the answer!
...

and there goes my random rambling... hahaha

Tawakkul ~ beautiful surrender

 I learned something beautiful today ~ a saying from Imam Ahmad RA on qadr. He said, if we were to be presented with choices for our future path, we would still choose the choice that Allah SWT has planned for us. Subhanallah, what a beautiful insights! 

Alhamdulillah.. as usual, I have lots to catch up and I guess is best not to pick up where I left, but just move along where I could. 

Aimar had completed all his scholarships application stages, and it's result time, Alhamdulillah. Just like his older brother, he secured straight As in his SPM .. but he has more for he has 12 subjects while Aidan just had 9 subjects. So, both of them did get 6A+, 2As for Aidan and 5As for Aimar, and 1A-. Aimar secured safe place to get through more choices for scholarship application as he got A for BM, unlike Aidan who got A-. Aimar got A- for his Maharat and he didn't even want to have it recheck. Alhamdulillah. And extra advantage for Aimar as he secured A+ for his Add Math. Alhamdullillah.. 

Well, the trending is increasing, students are getting smarter. The scholarships screening was not as easy as it used to be. Not like what we had thirty years ago, not even like what AbgDan had 2 years ago. 

But, Alhamdulillah.. we got thru, and now, making lots of good prayers for the best He has in plan. 

Aimar applied for TNB Prime Scholarship and got rejected for no reason given. I suspected because there's so many A+ students in line... but come to think of it, it is part of Allah's plan.. if he got thru the application, and got thru the interview and being offered a scholarship, he might need more time to take it up because the course that he wanted to do which is chemical engineering was not in TNB list and so he picked the closest he could, mechanical engineering. So, Allah knew it was not Aimar's cup of tea.. or maybe not even his strength, unlike AbgDan's. 

He also applied for UEM, but we could feel that it was also a no news that is good to be shared. The automated email system did told us that they got his application, and should there be any news, they'll keep in touch in 2 months time. Yet, Aimar knew some of his friends had gone thru the next stage of application so, UEM kept him ghosting. 

He got invitation for stage 1 and stage 2 online test from Khazanah. The stage 1 was only maths and english which they wanted to know how good are you to answers quick graphs and long texts questions in a short time... it was very short, and it was horrific! We thought he didn't get thru the 1st stage.. but Alhamdulillah he got an email for stage 2 which was only 3 parts of personality test which is also 'tiring' due to long and repeatable and ethical questions. And he didn't get thru the next stage, Alhamdulillah. 

He got to the 1st stage of Yayasan Terengganu scholarship, applying for Australian Engineering Program. So, last monday, he went to KT for the stage 2, the interview session. I didn't get to be with him for I was having the final sem exam for my online degree. Please pray for me, ameen. 
The interview was 'chill' as Aimar would put it. There were 3 interviewers, with 8 candidates required to answer one-by-one questions about personal background, aspirations and all sorts. It was more like get-to-know-you session rather than other 'typical' scholarship interviews. 

And yesterday, Aimar went to PLC for the Petronas interview. Aidan went to the same place two years ago, and Alhamdulillah it was not destined for him back then. Look at him today, happily lying on the sandy beach in Nice with his buddies. Subhanallah

The first stage of Petronas application was the online test of which they had to do two things. One was the IQ logic game test. And the other was HireVue video interview test of which he was given 5 basic questions. I guess, I'll share them here, so that, should Aivey had the same opportunity nanti, Ameen, boleh check balik. Mama malas nak type..so, mama share je lah gambar yang ada.. 

It was tuff and different.. talking to yourself and recorded it.. it was just awkward. Oh, you were given 5 (maybe 3) minutes time to prepare for the pitch before you recorded your answers. And you have 3 chances to record and submit if you were not satisified with the first and second time recording. 

Alhamdulillah, out of 9000+ applicants, and 7000+ shortlisted for the online interview, he was among the 500+ selected for the interview sessions. A session of which he was grouped in 6 (Aidan's was 4 at that time), given a case studies and need to present his personal ideas and also group presentation. He got the topic about content creator and gig economy, the survival of it, go or no go? Aimar picked no-go, and justified his decisions for 5 minutes. As for group session, they had to propose a policy to the Ministry of Economy on how the government could assist on the future of the gig economy. He told us his friends ada yang dapat STEM and why kids don't like it, ada yang dapat pasal green entrepreneurships, ada yang dapat pasal carbon content bla bla bla.. 

Alhamdulillah.. habis dah fasa interview scholarships. Lepas raya ni, tunggu untuk MARA YTP and JPA punye interview for PBU loan... kami berharap Aimar dapat scholarship sebab dia nak sambung belajar kat UK, which would cost millions kalau nak amik loan.. Alhamdulillah... apa-apa pun, Allah knows best. and to Him we submit, bismillahitawakkaltu'alallah.