Tuesday, December 29, 2009

say what?

i'm writing this blog in RED.. i should be writing this blog yesterday, or last sunday, to be exact.. i was mad back then.. and a wise guy told me, never writes when you are in anger.. and so, i'm writing today.. i've mellowed down, but whenever i think of it, i'm still mad.. blardy hell..

well, the MPAJ has allocated a budget to tar all the roads at our housing area.. good move.. at least there's why the money that my dad paid for the tax.. if not all, partly.. but what made me pissed off was that.. these group of people, working through christmas holidays and weekends.. and yet they came to us, the house owners... asking if we would like to tar our front porch... hmm.. the area of, i'm not good at measurement, but the area is small.. could hardly fits half of kancil.. and if we were to tar the porch, we need to pay RM200.. WTF.. and now, that made me wonder.. is the tar they are using are supposed to be in the MPAJ budget? is the time they are using to tar the additional porches are supposed to be the time they finish the tarring of the roads?.. and as they've been tarring the road for the past few days, i'm wondering, where is the MPAJ authorities? why isn't any of their officer there, to monitor the contractor if they are really following what was bound in the contract? .. i tried logging in the MPAJ site.. i wanted to ask if MPAJ is aware about this RM200 services, and if they can assured that the RM200 service is not a free-ride from what is bound in the contract... until today, MPAJ website supposed to email me my new password as i've reset the old one.. and i'm still waiting for the new password.. after 24 hours!.. i guess i'm a bit pissed, but i can make do of that.. guess i should pick up the phone and see what happened next..

that is about the MPAJ..

and then, i got my bonus slip.. it was a handsome sum (agghh.. i always wanted to use the word 'handome').. and then, at the deduction column.. amounting to nearing a month of my salary.. half of it goes to the EPF..ok... and another half is to the tax deduction..

and i'm wondering..

two years ago, i planned to have this great labour, with my husband around (he missed it the first time), in this great private hospital in KL.. and yet, God is Great.. i was four weeks early.. a day late after my hubby went to offshore.. and the nearest fastest hospital around to treat me was Hospital Kemaman.. and all other was history!.. i always wish anybody who was evil to me (esp to those who didn't bother to visit me at the hospital even when they could!) will face the same 'experience' i was facing at that government hospital.. i'm not going to tell what happened, but, these nurses and even the doctors.. their salaries were paid by me, the taxpayer.. and yet, they treat me like i'm no human.. another suitable phrase .. WTF.. and after two years, i'm still paying the tax..

my 'encounters' with the PDRM is another interesting stories.. i won't elobrate much.. i might even been called up and arrested under ISA if I do.. but it was bad, and yet me, my hubby, my sis, my cousins, my friends and everybody still need to pay the tax so that we can pay the government servants and still the service sucks big time!

and the list goes on, i'm sure..

and i'm wondering..... feels like swearing... cilako!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

the GIANT mama

my best friend, who will remain anonymous for now, was telling me that she is fat.. and you know that would be one of the must-talk topic that girls talked about when they are with their girlfriends...

and as another bff of mine would have told her straight to her face.. if that friend of us is fat, she would definitely be a giant...

so, here's the story.. she was always a small-built, underweight BMI mesurement, petite kind-of girl. at school, she would definitely be in the front line when queing. then, like all other girls.. she was in love, got married, and suddenly she was in labour.. twice.. and today, she was told that she is fat.. trying to swallow that statement with all the pride that she has, spitting it out among her girlfriends.. she still wonder if she is really fat..

she've been reminding herself over and over and over again that she won't take God's gift of her being petite for granted..neither that she could compromise with being fat and giving the opportunity for her hubby to scout for a petite lady that she 'used-to' be.. and there's nothing wrong for her to think such way.. so that she won't be too complacent..

thinking back - she deserves to be given a chance to allow herself from being underweight BMI measurement to normal average weight. she is no longer the teenager she used to be. she is in birth-control tri-monthly jab and she tried controlling her food intake. she supposed to gain weight, by nature. and of course, this is not happening to her hubby and hence he can say what he have said. but, is she sinning for being 'fat'?

Thursday, December 10, 2009

o, come on..

we happen to live long enough in this world that i bet we definitely has 'bumped' into a character 'the drama queen'.. we might be lucky enough to just laugh and ignore this 'diva'.. or we just have no choice but to bear with her whenever she's around..

she, sometimes get into my nerves (and she can just ignore my wat-r-u-talking'-bout face). she, most of the times make me laugh out loud (and not because she is funny). she, often make me think how ridiculous a person can be (and she can really be). she, definitely be my favourite topic to talk about with my good (and even not-so-good) friends.

she speaks in her native and yet she felt ashamed to hear it coming from her kid. she dreamt of a fancy party, just because i had one,  and locked the date so that neither her nor me could attend to either parties. she spend her money, not wisely, and so proud that she can do that. she busy herself caring so much about what my siblings are up to. she talk about people just and simply deny her words with her acts. she is so silly and i don't know why it bug me so much as it is her life and not mine.

but i guess, she is so much of a drama queen. a pinch salt will increase her blood pressure. a no-signal will ask her to eye for new phone. a toy must come from toys r us. and if i should proceed with the list, she will know i am talking about her.

she maintains her reputation. she portrays the good wife when all she is, the shrew. she backstabs and acts like she is not in a wrong. she tells fairy-tales, directing all the sympathies and attentions that people can spare on.

and as my only choice is to ignore, but i can't, and i hope i could... therefore, i pray hard.. i pray so that she found one drama queen like her, and she just have no choice but to stick by.. let her taste her own medicine.

maybe, to her, i am that drama queen.. mind you, i'm a drama queen with class. 

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

am mumbling...

i have so many things to chat about.. and yet, i'm filtering the subject, just because...

i wonder if i should chat about the weather... the rainy stormy weather in the East..which end up me sending the clothes to the laundry and cost me (..my hubby, actually) 40 bucks.

i wonder if i should chat about how sleepy i am now .. poor little aimar was having fever, and he could hardly sleep.. and i'm sure many will agree that if your kids are sick, you'll be 'sick' too.. if not physically, you'll be sick, mentally and emotionally..

i wonder if i should chat about the december party .. am half-way there with the preps.. but sometime it annoys me when 'people' thinks what i was doing was 'crap' just because the colours did not match  the scheme.. WTF.. am working while crafting, what have you been doing?

i wonder if i should chat about how 'disturbed' i was when i went to the airport with the boys and to find out after a tasteless expensive laksa, after a chase-aimar drama, after two hours wondering that i've mixed up with the flight schedule that i was 24 hours early than i've expected... aiyyooo... 

i wonder if i should chat about how we, women, cannot trust men.. no matter what, no matter how.. by all means, my hubby agrees with that.. not that he is representing a cheating hubby (ehem, i hope).. but, he said, so that the wife doesn't take things for granted.. 

i wonder if should chat about how can i expressed the truth i'm feeling about how irresponsible i felt about this good friend of mine?

i wonder if should chat about about a person i happen to know who thinks the world rotates around her and diet is not in her dictionary and hence she can tell everybody how fat i am (and i am not).. and frankly, when the statement came from her, i shouldn't give a damn about it.. but she is worst than annoying freak..how can i stand that?

i wonder if i should chat about another person i knew who thinks she is not contributing anything and the funny thing is that it is not her that worries about her contribution-less, but the taiko himself raised his concern about this non-contributing girl.. the taiko thinks she's too overloaded and not that she is not contributing (how contradicts is that?).. the taiko worried she would leave.. and i wonder if i should tell her, if you want to leave, what is stopping you? just leave..

i wonder if i should chat about how surprised i was to find out how depressed my good friend was and she managed to hide it with all her laughters, smiles and jokes.. how can i be so blur? and i am partly to be blame for not being sensitive enough with my surroundings..

i wonder if should chat about how impressed i was at my mum's negotiation skill. we went to zang toi's over the weekend, and as expected, nice available clothes will definitely came from non-discounted rail.. and yet, she managed to convince the seller, with 25% off .. if it was me, i'll just buy because it was a nice shirt and who would dare to ask discount from designer's shop?.. but still, i saved 25% of the purchase..

i wonder if i should chat about how weird i felt when someone suddenly came up with an event that clashed with my pre-arranged schedule and they knew it.. they just don't want me to be there, i guess

i wonder if i should chat about how eagerly excited i am to wait for the karaoke session i am planning to go next week..

ahh.. back to reality.. my work is piling up, my motherly assignment is half way there, bits and pieces.. i guess, i'll just chat about real things when the time is right, the ideas are perfect and when i'm convinced that the readers who are reading my chats are clueless about who and what and where and when and how..penning off...


Friday, December 4, 2009

sweet thought

genuine smile carved on my face when i read the message on my FB wall .. the answer that marsya wrote on the interview...

coming from a ten-year-old girl, the answer is 'soothing', true and unadulterated... and she made me realised, been a while since i've been thankful to what i've been blessed with.. i always want to be rich, i always hope that i can just stop working, no need to worry about my monthly debts with the banks, i always wish i can own that RM25mil mansion and drive the ferrari or messarati or whatever car that i could hardly pronounced their names... and i definitely think i need to get that real Coach from Pavillion.. and i don't have to be rich to get the bag..

and when this girl sincerely answered the question in such a way.. while she can have thousand one different answers... i smiled.. and still smiling.. i'm a good friend with her mum, but i rarely spend time with her and her answer is purely one first-impression basis.. and i'm not blogging this to brag that i'm rich.. i know and you can guess that i am not rich.. it cheers me up to read the statement.. even, it was coming from a kid (and believe me when i say she is a smart kid..)

again, i guess, as a human being, we keep forgetting.. and as Kak Intan (the kids's mother) would keep telling me, we are greedy.. we always see the greener field at the other side, we forget that the field we are on is not bad at all.. those people on the other side wish they were here.. 

to dear Marsya,thanks for reminding me.. well, i was not the first, but i can settle with the second richest you'll ever seen.. thank you.

Monday, November 30, 2009

the monkeys

we had a long weekend.. it was supposed to be the Eidul-Adha celebration, but i guess, not having my hubby around, not planning for qurban, not performing the haj .. yet.. we took it as a little bit of long break.
so, to start the day of piling works will need a lot of motivation and energy. and at the moment.. and for the rest of my life.. that will take a while.
lemme start chat session with talking about work.. so many things to talk about.. or, if i may, the complaint list will be endless.. hence, i must be very careful to post this subject, just to ensure that it won't kill me back.. of course i have tonnes and tonnes to complaint about my work.. but, i still need my work. especially when my credit cards will definitely be in the 5-10% region reaching its limits.with that, i still need my monthly income.

it's funny some-how people like us, like most of my friends and myself, live to work instead of work to live .. my hubby sacrifices the times & distances for work.. one good friend of mine works miles away from home ten years ago, and no intention of coming back to Malaysia.. two good friends of mine clearly told the boss they would never take up the management post and doesn't mind staying as the seniors, just because.. and the other two chics just wonder why their performance were rated by the numbers of incoming emails... the list goes on..

and the boss, that would be another story.. they keep saying they understand where we are coming from, somehow, we knew best what they meant.. towards end of the year, their favourite suddenly were having piling of undone jobs.. they are just overloaded... and they are trying to cope their very best.. and that justify the big lump sum of increment and bonuses.. yarrr rrigghtt.. when talking about their favourite, the ass-kissers, they would say 'overloaded'.. when talking about the others. they would say 'inefficient'..

talking about thousand and one personalities that we have to deal with while working.. definitely would be endless.. the 'old maid' who will always be there smiling, showing off her big fat ass, the 'i'm-untouchable-so-that-i-can-just-throw-tantrums-to-anybody', the 'slow' and 'steady' personnel, the jack-ass, the 'everybody-is-so-free-except-me'.. and again, we all know the list is endless..

at the end of the day, when the day comes to evaluate the so-called 'performance review'.. if you are not in his list, you will always be the under-achievers, and if you are, you will always be the shining pin-ups.. the easiest way?.. dream on and work.. if you care so much.

Monday, November 23, 2009

without boundaries

bear with me.. i'm gonna chat about love again.. i guess i am so full of it that i want to share it.. talking about sharing love, i don't intend to elaborate on polygamy, mind you..all i'm thinking of was the conversation my litle boy had with his grandma last night..

i was telling him that gramps bought a nice party-princess dress for edleen's birthday... and he asked me if he's getting any since we are planning for a joint-december-party (side note: i'm not inviting my buddies to the party.. i had a 'massive' one last month, and want to have just 'family only' occasion.. so, no hard feeling, huh..) (another side note: i guess you guys are happy for not getting the invitation as my expectation on the gift would be fisher-price and above..) (more side note: if you guys insists, do text me.. i'll reserved a seat .. it's only gonna be at McD)...hmm.. this is really me.. i wanted to talk about something else, and this whole paragraph has been dragged talking about the party and invites..bla, bla, bla..

back to that conversation between the elder grandson with his grandma.. he was asking her gramp, why didn't he get new clothing as well.. he said he went to KL quite often, visiting his gramps, but why did his cousin got the new dress and he did not?... he end the conversation by 'threatening' his gramp telling he's won't be visiting them in future.. and mind you, he is only four next month, and i swear that does not come from his mum!

my parents, so far, are blessed with three grandkids.. two of mine, and one of my brother's... and they love them the same... i can rest-assured that. they bought expensive dress for edleen, but they also bought motorized bike that cost RM300 for the grandsons.. so, who am i to complaint..

but i wonder.. we, as parents, love our kids, unconditionally.. but i guess, as human being, we tend to forget..don't have to go any further, as this is my fifth posting, i guess, all i talk about is aidan, leaving all the small cute little things that aimar been doing.. so, does that means i love aidan more than aimar? if you asked me, i would definitely say NO.. i love them equally.. without boundaries.. they are both smart in their own ways.. but, sometimes, these small little acts of mine may be mis-interpret..

i always think my mum loves her only son more than both of her girls.. i always think my aunt, momi, loves her model-look-a-like elder daughter and her only son, but love her okay-okay second daughter lesser..(but no doubt kak ita loves aidan more than aimar... don't try to deny that).. reminiscing the small discussion we had back in melaka,i was so mad back then when my other aunt, mum, was telling that my dad wanted to throw a birthday party for edleen in december.. not that i have anything against edleen.. it just that at that moment, i was so busy discussing about aimar's birthday, and these news popped out.. of course i deserved to be mad.. at that instance, i just thought my dad loves edleen more than both my son..

but i guess, we keep forgetting.. the love is always there to be shared, to be given away, to be felt.. we just want any thing that is convinience to us.. if they didn't buy nice things to us, they didn't love us enough.. if he forgot the important dates in our life, he loves us less (..but now, he is smart.. he put in the phone reminders.. technologies..).. if she didn't talk much about them, she forgotten about them.. i guess, we must keep reminding ourself that as long as we called ourselves 'families' (no matter if we share the same DNAs or time made us families), the love is always there, without limits.. once a while, we as families will forget to show them... so, don't afraid to ask for it.. 

Thursday, November 19, 2009

suddenly, he's in love

it's the last day of school.. aidan will be with mak wan's for the time being.. i've arranged 'pre-birthday' party for aidan as he always wanted to have a birthday party with his friends... and thanks to McDonald Kerteh.. they came all the way to help me with the food, the game and best thing was Grimace the mascot. the party was fun.. aidan loved it, and so my dear aimar.. he was running and playing with the kids.. it was simple and yet fun...

and there was aleya.. when aidan started going to the school, pn ros was telling me that 'kak aleya is always there to help aidan'.. she did.. most of the time, when aidan went to the school, it would be aleya who came out and helped him with taking off his shoes and carrying his bag..it was aleya who helped him with his dishes etc.. and i started the rumours that aleya was his girlfriend.. and aidan, the first time we teased him, he was showing tantrums... but then, in times, he was smiling whenever we mentioned 'aleya'..and today, when i asked him to take photo with aleya, he shy away..... and i just knew he's in love..

i don't remember being in love at that early age. i doubt aidan will..but if he happen to read this when he is twenty, he'll thank me for reminding.. to me, aidan felt so close to aleya as she's always there to help him out.. yes, he doesn't want his friend to notice that, but, he doesn't mind having aleya at his conviniences... so, boys will be boys... when he grow up, he will open his heart to a beautiful girl (mind you, aleya is not bad looking out of all the choices he has,ok), to a girl who has been helping him a lot, and of course to a girl who he just can't stop from smiling whenever her name was mentioned... he'll find his love.. and at then end of the road.. there is his mother... 

being classy me.. i want my sons to have the best out of everything.. including the girl they suppose to pick as thequeen of their heart (mind you, i'm the queen of their heart, not any other girl).. and i wonder if i were to turned up like their nanny who is now still denying the fact that her lovely beautiful daughter is falling in love with this guy who she thinks too short for her and doesn't suit her model look-a-like daughter. ... or will i end up like my mum, everything is fine... and sometime, it bugged me (a lot) when she just doesn't care about her daughter-in-law...

but for the time being, i guess, i'll just share the moments.. that look of happiness when we mentioned aleya's name and aidan was widely smiling..

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

measuring distance

They said 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'.. i want to correct that.. it's not really the absence, but the distance.. at least, that would be my case.. with distance, i just realized, i miss him so much, i want him so badly, i need him with just a phone call away..and when i knew the only fulfillment that i will get is just a plain "how i wish", i went blank.

The light in the bathroom were blinking non-stop every microsecond. I knew that the least I need to do is to go to the shop, buy the bulb and the starter and mend it.. And of course, I can call my in-laws asking for help.. And even a polite request for a favour from my neighbour won't cost any of us a dime.. Somehow, all i want is him..

The car was making funny noises when i ran the engine. He would know better,but he's not here with me. Somehow all i want is him..

This morning, at the eleventh-hour, i've decided to plan for Aidan's year-end party at his school .. i wish i could pick up the phone and tell him my plan was...and i suddenly having doubts to go-ahead with the plan... organizing the party, without him around, should not be the way it is.. but, i know Aidan really wanted to have the party before the school end (which would be this Thursday) and i just can't wait for him (or even can't wait for Aidan's real birthday)... Somehow, all I want is him..

Ok, my hubby is not dead.. he's away... a 60-hour away from home, working for the monthly earnings.. he pays for almost everything.. me, i spend all my monthly salary, and still asked money from him..hence, to take up the 28-days onshore and the next 28-days (minus 5 days of travelling time) seems viable when he landed the offer two months ago.. i was supposed to be very independent.. when aidan was less than two years old, and i was heavily pregnant, i can drove all the way from Kemaman to KL, just because i know i am very independent... and i am still independent.. Somehow, all I want is him..

If only i could fast-forward the time when he's offshore, and slow down the seconds when he's back home... If only i could make the distance nearer.. If only i could just pick up the phone and call him whenever..

Hurry back .. please..

Friday, November 13, 2009

school criteria: don't call him Aidang!

His teacher gave one red folder compiling all his works that he had done throughout the year. I had a long look on the drawing and couldn't figure out what was it all about. I asked him.. wittingly he answered "Aidan draw beach.. ".. and he explained further.. The blue line is the ocean, the red is the sand, the yellow is the sun, the blue is the cloud and it is raining, the brown is the tree... the drawing is complete. He is only four this coming December.. Early this year, it took me three months to find an o-kay school for him to go to. It wasn't easy.. For the first three years of his life, he was with his sitter, Mak Wan, and he was looking forward excitedly to go to school when I throw him that idea. I told him when he was three that he needed to be potty-trained if he wanted to go to school.. and it took determination and one month for him to be potty-trained.
I was scouting for good school in  Kemaman. His name is Aidan, and if possible, I would like him to go to a school where the teacher can correctly pronounce his name as Aidan instead of Aidang! It is very vain of me.. hey, I'm a "Classy Chic" and I need to maintain that. I was born and breed in KL - the KL chic - and when now and then people find out that I'm in Kemaman, I'm sure the next question that crossed in their mine "what the heck she is doing there? can she survived?".. okay.. that would be a different chat session.. as for now, i want to write more about my lovely elder son..

So, in March, I found this one Montesorri school.. costing me an annual fees of RM1,700 (even when he started in March rather than January) and a monthly fee of RM250 (even when he surely missed a lot of his Sunday class because Mama decided to have an extra hour of sleep, and he missed few weeks of school when Mama need to travel to KL for work)..it is quite expensive for a school in Kemamang... somehow, I just thought this is best for him.. and he loves when he knew he finally going to school. The school fits my criteria.. he will have Pak-De to bring him back from school to the sitter's house riding trishaw - interesting huh.. Everybody in KL was laughing cynically when I told them Aidan ride on a trishaw from his school to Mak Wan's. And that cost me RM50.. Not because he fix the charges, I just don't have a heart to give less when I knew Aidan is well taken care of.

The school is ok.. Not that I have much choices. Aidan best friend's is Haikal.. and the teacher told me Alia, the 6-year-old student always like to take care of him.. which end up, everybody was teasing him having a girlfriend named Alia...He sometimes shy away when we mentioned Alia, but he sometimes smiles and feel good about it.

There was one time, while watching cartoon at night, he blurt out that he was 'caned' by the teacher.. I was surprised... Not that I was mad at the teacher, but that was not like Aidan. He normally told me Danish got caned, Ming Shuen got caned and most of the boys in his school... but never him...It took me hours intergorating him asking why was he been caned? Only when I threat him that I'll asked his teacher, he told me that he was talking while the teacher was teaching... Remembering that, I was proud of him.. He didn't tell me it was anybody fault, he took it as a gentle-boy..

My boy, he grew up fast.. He learned his one-two-three. He still have difficulties counting satu-dua-tiga. He picking up on his ABCs. He'll be going to school again next year.. don't ask me where as I'm yet to decide where will I be next year... Still living in this small town of Kemamang, or perhaps back to KL (still hoping since the day I decided to move here..)... or might even be Brazil.. chewah..

Thursday, November 12, 2009

..and so, I said hello..

I love talking, almost about everything..and of course, as a passionate mum, a loyal wife, a good gossip girlfriend, a so-so sister, a 'crazy' cousin, a dotting daughter and as an employee... I have so many things to talk about...

I love writing.. I was supposed to be a professor bahasa when I grew up... It didn't turn up as I wish.

I've been a great follower of Red Scoot blog.. and the fact that she's in my BFF list may more or less contributes to that loyalty .. but, when in future, and as we are still reading this first post of mine, I shall thank her for the inspiration. She got more excited than I am when I told her I'm starting my own blog.. The "Classy Chatty Chic" got her blessing...

So, How do I start, Where do I begin, What should I ramble about, Who should read this blog of mine.. we'll just see..

.. as for now, I am saying Hello to the world.. (ok, perhaps a bit too ambitious.. should dedicate this just to my circle of friends instead addressing it to the world..)