Sunday, March 3, 2019

March the 30th

They called him Apek, Mayat and Acap. 
I'm not used to Mayat, but I sometimes used the nick Apek when I talked to his friends who called him by that name. 
Most of the others, he is so Acap. 
I remembered the first time I heard his name. 
Not the boy I really want to meet and get to know. 
The geek from IC who slept all night and day. 
The unfriendly friend of mine who knocked on my door didn't say much when he saw me and just waited for me to get ready. 
Nope, not my kind of boy. 
And he never showed much interest on me pun when we first met..so, kita kena lah maintain machokan.. 
After all, time tu, masing2 ada boyfren girlfren kat Mesia..and as for him, ada awek2 a few dok hantar kad2 posted to him... tak kira aweks2 dia dok melepak sesama... 

Well, at least, that's what I thought, 19 years ago. 
Wuuhuu!
It's March! 
Somehow, we celebrated the day we met more than we celebrated our tunang day or akad nikah day. 
Maybe it's because it came earlier than the engagement day or the wedding day. 
Maybe it's the beautiful 300300 codes that we can easily remember and not forget. 
Somehow, when it comes March, I get all mellow going down the memory lane. 
Of course, perhaps the courting years was so much fun now that we are too comfortable with each other to some extent we tend to 'ignore' at some points. 
But then again, it was neither him nor to be blame at. 
We are okay with the rate. 
We had a great dinner at KLCC last friday, just the two of us. 
Truth was, I do feel a bit awkward.. some part of me was missing the kids.. hahaha... 

But, as I was listening and admiring every words in the Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper song, Shallow, I just got drifted away. We can totally relate to every words in the song. The past few years wasn't easy for us. He may not have told me literally for he never did even 19 years ago. 

I was the vocal one in the relationship of AA3003. He wrote a letter with a ticket to London, I replied with 5 pages of short stories of how fairy tales should started. He called up just to say hi and I ended up using up all his credits telling how insane his penfriend was for telling me (his new friend) was not pretty (ehem... masih dia ingat awek ni tak jeles time tu.. hati batu). I was asking how was the weather, and he grabbed a passer by just to verified that it was how and he was topless at that time (masa tu mana ada video call, pakai fon nokia 3310 je kot.. I up sikitlah, motorola startac tuh.)

After 19 years, despite of me telling my friends about him and his words (mostly not wasted much but just remarks made me think), he doesn't have to tell me how his life has been. 

Truth is, it has never been easy for the past five years. It's hardest lately. 

But there he is, standing strong. 

I wish I could write more. But I'm too heartbroken thinking how bad people who is supposed to support us (or me) made things more difficult that they should. To those in readings, and know I meant you, I really need you girls to know, 

He is my man. 
Walallahi, I love him not because of himself. 
He is Godsent. 
He couldn't be the syurga for me, for he himself is working his best to gain Jannah. 
But Alhamdulillah, Allah made it easy for me to gain Jannah thru him. 
Subhanaallah. 
He is the most responsible husband and aboh to us. 
That is enough. 
He knows what's wrong what's right what's best for us. 
And I love Allah and Rasulullah SWT so much and with all my faith, I know, all I want is syurga, and that's what I'm chasing. Insyaalah.
Yes, to all of you out there, 
get your priority right. 
While you were complaining hating him, reflect back if you've done enough to secure your jannah?

Abang, 
It's our 19th cinta-cinta sayang anniversary this March, and gonna be our 15th year of marriage in August, Alhamdullillah. 

Enough with all the words, gestures and all... 
We're far from the shallow now. 
As long as I have you, I know we are okay. 

Thank you for always be there as my bestmate, bedmate, bitemate, boomate and whatever we can think of. 

Happy 3003 Acap & Ain!

Tell me somethin', girl
Are you happy in this modern world?
Or do you need more?
Is there somethin' else you're searchin' for?
I'm falling
In all the good times I find myself
Longin' for change
And in the bad times I fear myself
Tell me something, boy
Aren't you tired tryin' to fill that void?
Or do you need more?
Ain't it hard keeping it so hardcore?
I'm falling
In all the good times I find myself
Longing for change
And in the bad times I fear myself
I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in
I'll never meet the ground
Crash through the surface, where they can't hurt us
We're far from the shallow now
In the shallow, shallow
In the shallow, shallow
In the shallow, shallow
We're far from the shallow now
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Whoah!
I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in
I'll never meet the ground
Crash through the surface, where they can't hurt us
We're far from the shallow now
In the shallow, shallow
In the shallow, shallow
In the shallow, shallow
We're far from the shallow now

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