and it's true

it's the day of the leap year. the irish believes that in this day in every four years, ladies are allowed to get down on bended knee and propose. it's totally acceptable to be out of norm for only this day, in every four years.

darn.. u really think we ladies will do that?

they said, men are losers for egos. their egos are so mountain high to the extend that the will keep on insisting telling the whole world that egg york is blue even when they know the right answer! on the other hand, we, women, allow men to stand by their egos. we give ways. we 'tolerate'. we just don't give a darn... why bother fighting over the colour of the egg york? we knew it's yellow, so what if he said it's blue?

my liltle cousin boy who is not so little anymore just updated his FB status from 'single' to 'in a relationship'... auuuwww... of course the whole world was shaken! and his mum is still in a denial stage. last weekend, this cousin of mine brought his gf to meet the aunties. nope - not the mum yet lah - but aunties and cousins. they went out double-date with another cousin of mine. this cousin of mine remind me of a boy i once knew.

a boy who would do anything for his love. a boy who spent all his allowance money to his love one. who boy who kept praising how grateful he was to found his soulmate. a boy who literally cut onions, minced the meat and cooked the rice just to serve home-cooked meal for his one and only. a boy who waited and waited and waited with a bouquet of red roses just to tell how much he missed the queen of his heart. a boy who called that girl his angel. a boy who dedicated this i promise you N Sync song (a-ha) to his sunshine.  

a boy, at that point of time,  having born with sky-scrapping ego, somehow was blinded by love, at least that what he thought at that point of time. they said love made you do silly things. and he proposed.

the girl, that queen of his heart, that soulmate, that one and only, that angel, that sunshine, was smitten, swept away with great feelings, head over feet about this boy. she can't imagine life without him. and she accepted.

suddenly, his vision become clearer. he once was blind, and now he sees. he once was fooled, and now he's wiser. at least, that what his out-of-this-world think.

and that girl, she just have to accept it. she said he'd changed! but to think again, he never did change!he just able to manage that ego well before this.

ke, ye ke?

yaddi-yaddi-yadda

i've drafted few postings - but still fail to publish em..
..
it's been the second month of the year, and i'm not sure if time flies or i've done so many things and too little time to really sit and reflect :)
work is waaaaayyy too much. but, that still didn't stop me of going off before 6. and frankly, my adrenaline boost definitely drop to its lowest if i were to talk about work.

aidan - he's been in 1 setia for a month by now! the first three days at school was traumatic - both for him and mama. as much as being such a independent boy as i thought, a boy is still a boy! i was worried sick on his schooling arrangment, and still am till today. but on his first day of school, i saw my boy and started to worried even more! he didn't fit in straight away with his mates. while others were busy making friends, playing chase, he just sit and watched. and mama was damn worried! i tried introducing him to his friend and let him be, but that didn't work out. then, we left him all alone .. he was having fun as he thought we were playing spy game.. so, he pretended he didn't see us, walked pass us and smiled and he looked fine. only to find out, the day after, when we wereee really spying on him and he couldn't see us, he cried in the middle of the canteen.. the other boys were running and passing by, ignoring him and he cried.. as much as my husband asked me to let him be, i ran straight away. i hugged him and i was teary. alalalalalalala... anakku....no matter what, no matter how, when i saw him cried, it hurts the most! the image of him lost in the middle of nowhere, crying... this is aidan am talking about..not aimar, which crying is what he do to get whatever he wants la kan.. aidan, even when he was a toddler, he didn't cry as much. we went to toysrus and he saw toys he wanted, mama said no, he didn't cry. he saw the icecream and tempted to have a go and mama said no, he didn't cry. even he was in pain, he didn't cry! so, when i saw he cried, until today, i couldn't erase that moment! my instance thinking was he need to change the school. perhaps public school is not for him. that expensive private school might suited him better. and good friends of mine told me, i worried over nothing! as i'm writing this, aidan is doing fine, yup, he's school might not be the best, and if i can opt for a better school, i would. but i guess, it's not all about the school.. it's him growing up, and mama need to let him 'fly' once a while. despites his heavy load, and need to wait for my cousin to finish school then he can go back, i know he'll be doing fine. and me, keep on chasing time, waking up early to prepare his food, rushing over lunch to pick him up from school.. i'm doing at least a mother should be doing, so, as much as i am complaining about not having longer minutes sleeps, i'm ok. of course, school holiday is what i look forward for nowadays, so that i could have that extra half hour sleep :)

aimar - he had issues with the new teacher, mrs rajee. he was punished for making such a noise in class but all he was justifying to me "ala, i just have to stand on the floow - on the floor - not on the chair!"..boleh, camtu? i had enough of pinching, smacking and up to the extend using the clothes hanger and smacked him. so, one day, i decided to play reverse pschycology. i gave a him silent treatment, not talking to him, left him behind and let others took care of him.. and he cried, out loud, asking for forgiveness.. it was  a pity. he was crying, promising that he would behave bla bla.. but i had to be strong .. i spoke to him the day after, and i guess he learned his lesson, a bit, if not much! he's been doing good at school after the incident.. him being a baby, i need time to train him to grow up and grow out. 

aivey - she started to turn. she still having problem passing motion, but other than that, she's doing fine. o, she hates car! she'd cry whenever she's in the car and that is a big problem as we need to commute everyday.. good that i have my mum to accompany me so gramp can took care of her when she decided to throw tantrums!

o.. did i tell that aidan and aimar still ahve to wake up early on weekend for his 2-hours football session? yup! my weekend is filled too!

three kids are handsful!

so, don't blame me for not posting anything all this while..

so, what up with your life?

as time passess by

“I've heard that it's possible to grow up - I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don't go our way, we whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark, we look for comfort where we can find it, and we hope - against all logic, against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope...” ...

- Meredith Grey quotes -

aidan is going to primary school. last thursday, i was so excited to get him ready for the orientation. i was a bit mad at his father as he was still in kemaman the night before. good for us that he made it just in time for aidan to go to school. he grown up fast. as we have half an hour to spare before 8:30am, i was proposing for us to stop by for breakfast at the nearby stall.. he counter-proposed "takpe la, mama aboh send abadan dulu, then mama aboh pergi la breakfast".. boleh camtu? he was so looking forward to wear that white and dark-blue school uniform, and looking so handsome with the necktie on.

as he queued among the newbies, i was moved. not like other parents who were busy photographing their kids in the queue, we decided to sit back and watch. i guess, me being obidient with teachers' instruction, i decided not to disturb the queue. and aidan was there, standing still in the line, as obidient as he can.. and my eyes were teary. he looked so independent, so grown-up.. and i was melancholic. felt like only yesterday we were so excited welcoming him in our arms. felt only like the day before yesterday we met eye to eye and smitten by each other. felt like only days before yesterdays we were nervously waiting for the first day of our school-life. and there he was, my son, my own flesh and blood, queuing for his class.. and all i did was looking at him, smiling, feeling proud.. and of course nervous and anxious at the same time. i wonder if he'll survive..

he was off to the class as i sat on the hall, trying hard to listen to the principal's speech and feeling really like one of her students.. once a while, my mind was wandering how aidan was.. 

and of sudden, he came and with his cheerful voice told me "exam was easy peasy".. and off he went, joining his new mates. 

senang kan budak sekarang.. cepat betul buat kawan..
...
talking about grown up.. a cousin of mine is going to be in the secondary school this year. she's going to be in Form One and got over excited when she saw the name "aidan" on one of the schoolboard. she took the picture, loaded it in the FB and tagged me.. and trying to be smart, she put comment "my googly told me aidan means a name of priest/nun etc....." what-da-f.c.u.k... of all the google info, that is the only thing you would want to hilite. of all! i'm pretty sure if you search "define aidan".. that's not the only definition you would find from the google page.. so, why? why? why?... from the google also stated aidan is a jedi from star wars.. so, why can't you think i took that name from there? why must you think i picked up aidan's name from a priest name? of course i took aidan it is so blardy annoying. and what make it more annoying, though the FB id was of my 12-y-o cousin, i am pretty sure it was her mother that made such comment under her name! but of course, if i were to start a FB debatical forum, it does look silly for a 35-y-o to go against all odds ... on FB!!!!
...
new year - in general was just like a normal day. of course, on the eve's, i cooked fusion olio (credit to yummy-mummy blogspot) for the whole family. we stayed in kg baru, had long chats among the other cousins (talking about that cousin). watched the fireworks at the stairs of my gramps old house. and slept the whole day thru on new year itself. of course aimar was enjoying the 48-hour-spongebob-a-thon!
...
aidan is not well today, and yesterday. he vomitted and has got some temperature.. i just hope he'll be just fine for school tomorrow..
...
aimar - he was asking me who will be sending him off to his kindy .. both me and my hub will be with aidan .. if and only if i can split myself into two! i guess all parents would ask to have that wish if granted! to split every bit of us to every bit of time to be wherever our kids would be!
...
aivey - mama tak kasi masuk tangan dalam mulut, she picked new skill over new year.. kenyut bibir without inserting her thumb.. 
...
and so, life goes on. moga aku jadi ummah yang lebih baik, ameen.

hello 2012

"significantly,for me; aimar is going to school; we are moving to that new house; i hope my hubby could get a job nearer to the family; if ada rezeki, it would be fantastic to have some dash of pinks on the kids wardrobe.. and i pray for my sis to have a kid too.. insyallah.


geng, have a wonderful 2011..xoxoxoxoxo..mmmuuaahhhssss"
...
gosh, how time flies! that was a quote from my last year's post.. and i'm writing a farewell post for 2011 and welcoming 2012.

recapping the 2011, aimar went to school and doing fine. we finally moved in riana this month. hubby is now in labuan. memang ada rezeki (though at times i wrote the above post, i was clueless) with lots and lots of pinks on the kids wadrobe with aivey's arrivals... and yeen embraced iris sofea's arrival two days after mine! alhamdullillah. diam tak diam, my prayers come true and Maha Besar Allah. 

and i feel so guilty for not being a good ummah.. He gave me what I wished for, and I keep forgetting my roots! Allah Ya Rabbi!

as i welcome 2012, i'm yet to figure out what to expect.

of course i'm nervous of being 35 and aidan going to primary school.. we'll just see.. i should definitely hope as i writing the recap next year, i've become an improved ummah.

sembang-sembang

my head's thumping and i'm nowhere near to doing work, with me going to be on leave for the next five days.. ok, that includes the long weekend, and i do not have any plan of going anywhere..but who knows if we would want to be somewhere tomorrow, after aidan's orientation.

yup, aidan is going for his orientation entering his primary school.. gosh, he's standard one la beb... am not getting any younger, huh!

my dear aidan, very reliable, by the book, unfriendly and doesn't care what people say about him - at least, he showed he didn't bother, but at the end of the day, he'll will only show mama that he actually cares! yup. that's my abadan. my special eldest son.

aimar - only one word describes him - charmer! he is. actually, he is spoilt. he bits people. he gives excuses when i asked him to take his shower. he cries out loud even after he hit his brother and his brother fight back. he jumps, he runs, he rolls anywhere everywhere. he's the sort that you don't want to bring to your house that is full with ornaments and nice decors. but then, when i was in my deep sleep (at least, that's what i showed him), he kissed me on my cheek. he called his aunt after not seeing his lil cousin for 24 hours. he looked for his gramps and ask 'how are you'. what a charmer, kan?

my one and only daughter is still exploring. she started to learn how to smile. we went to the pead last saturday. she was 57cm tall with 5.25kg (while iris was 61cm with 4.9kg - talking about sibling rivalry eh).. she pass motion once a week. she suckled.. nyot nyot nyot..her thumb becomes numb and she smell so masam! and she's mama's barbie.. always nice to have her around to play dress up :)

so, me -  mummy of three :)

who's the boss

aidan was watching tv and out of sudden he asked me, "mama, news tv3 tu apa die?what utama?".. "buletin utama. why did you ask?"... "boleh tak mama watch buletin utama dekat youtube on christmas day?".. and when i asked why, he simply told me "kitorang nak watch nickelodeon, ada christmas madness starting from 8?"

and i don't know how to respond. he's not requesting.. he's giving me suggestion, sweet suggestion, and how can i say no when he has all planned out .. and for a six years old.. i don't remember being such a smartie-pants! once upon a time, "NO means NO - no negotiation!"

aidan has learned how to pick his preference, he understands what has been advertised, he wanted to watch what he wanted to watch, he politely requesting if mama is okay to miss the prime time news and he even proposed for mama to watch it from the ipad.

he has all planned out!

he's going to be fine..

and..oh ya, have i told you that he's going to the primary school next year?

cepat kan.. i have a kid who goes to primary school already.. and it felt good to met a guy friend who besides asking "how are you?", he without hesitation "eh, bukan kau baru bersalin ke?".. that's a compliment - for mr hubby to be reminded of! :)

que sera sera

i can't say i was tied up with three kids and couldn't find time to update this blog of mine. i normally post my blog when i'm at work, so, kids got not much to do about it. of course, though i'm at work, i will still need to find time to run errands for my kids.. family will definitely be my top priority and that is why i'm happy with my current work - it doesn't really demand my time as much as i can offer.. not if i were to be an engineer..well, it will definitely be a good pay if were to compare with being a sourcing exec. but then again, i'm ok with my post now.. the less pay is still more than i used to get back in previous company i've been working with. well, you can't get the best of both worl, can you? somehow, as i reported back after my not-so-long-maternity leave, the work has started to 'rise and shine'. it's not much, but it just non-stop and keep on flowing. after a year in an 'idle' mode, having an 'actual' work is sometimes unbearable..hu!hu!hu!

i broke down two weeks ago. work is one thing. kids is another. it was aidan's bday and i was nowhere there in preparing the stuff for his schoolmates to celebrate his bday. and i cried (well, some things never change!). i owe it to my kids. and now i have three  of them, i'll be handsful! aidan is going to primary school, aimar will need to start reading next year and aivey will still be a baby for the next few months! and work demanded me not to go back on time, and as my breast 'engorged' after six (my body alarm to tell me it's time to go back!), i just wish i was a full time mother! and now i started to understand why some of my friends resorted to be a full time mother .. i've always been sceptical on being a full time mother. i felt that the degree that we've earnerd were put to waste and we'll be fully dependent to our spouse. i don't like that idea. but when i broke down, all i want is to be with my kids 24-7. i want to be there when they blew that candles. i want to be there when they done with their shower. i want to be there to send them off to school and let them hear and remember my "be good at school" advise. i want to be there to put their lunch on their plate. i want to be there, be there, be there, be whereever they are. the degree i've earned made me an educated person, and even i'm working now i've always been dependent to my mr hub. so, beign a full time mother is all i want to be.

i may sound normal..but to me, if i heard this ten years ago, i would say i sound insane. this is never me.

and this is when i need to say "we will never know how i future like".