nearing the time

been a while since my last post.. yup, bit tied up with things at work. plus the heavy load am carrying with me on my belly. and not much to write about things also contributes to the reason of the silence..

anyway, i'm on my 37th week of my journey to deliver my baby in the belly. i was on my 37th week when i celebrated my firstborn-aidan, and aimar came up earlier at merely 35th week and was so tiny and fragile when he came to the world. by right, i should be on stand-by mode 24-7.. i had a 'panic' attack last friday.. i really thought that i'm going into labour sooner. the contraction that i've been feeling for every two hours turned out to be a fake one.. which i was glad. as much as i want this labour to be over as soon as possible, i don't want it to be happened last friday, or even now.. baby HAS to wait.. at least until the 16th.. nope, i'm not that patriotic that i want my baby to be born on Msian's day.. point is, my hubby will only be able to be release from offshore on the 16th, and he'll be travelling back to kl in the morning.. hopefully, should there be no delays, he'll be in klia by noon the 16th.. and if only i were to give birth, we should wait two three hours after that, hopefully.. and to add matters worst, my gynae is now in milan, and will only be back on the 15th.. a friend told me, 'this is the difficulties you'd faced dealing with celebrities doctors!'.. so, with no hubby and gynae, i'm living in denial as much as i could to ensure i'm not into labour.. not after the 16th...

mr hubby missed the two labours i went through, and he better make sure he don't miss this one! with me getting 'older' every seconds, and my body not helping much, i might take a loooonnnnggg break for going through another horrific pregnancy!

my pregnancy, in general, was nothing new. on the 12th week, i checked myself in to the emergency ward in prince court, while my parents were taking care my son on the peadiatric ward and hubby was all the way in brazil's offshore. of course, the doctor in-charged and the nurses were so confused to see mee all alone and so weak.. but i was so weak and they just didn't have the gut to ask much.. that was the first time, and i visited the wards few times after that.. hyper-nemesis, they called it! excessive vomitting...

and i never stopped vomitting even on my second and third trimester.. it was normal to my body and as i would say "aku pasrah".

i still vomitted last week.. with headache and backpains.. one interesting thing happened during the pregnancy was muscle pulled.. in my entire life, i never knew how it felt.. sports (since the world don't consider resting on the bed is an event), was never on my plate.. so, i never knew how muscle pull should feels like.. but, there was one night, as i was sleeping, my leg felt cramped and 'gone' elsewhere.. i was screaming, and sad thing was my hubby was not around at that time!

so, i'm counting days.. and praying hard that mr hubby will be just in time when we are ready to deliver the baby. insyaallah.

raya, u'ols

i was not looking forward for raya this year. with me could hardly carry my tummy which will explode anytime! so, not having my hubby around on the day is not a really a much concern to me. but then, i heard the lagu raya.

gosh, most lagu raya are so depressing and sad and will drift the listener away. not like christmas, lagu raya will always have this mellow melody with sobbing lyrics! darn!

so, yup.. out of sudden, realizing not having him around for raya make me kind of sad. especially now that i'm in no position of going anywhere or do anything.. i even haven't bought the boys baju melayu pun.

so, can i have him pagi raya?

hmmm

picking up things

aimar: teacher mala bagi aimar 'sun' ari ni.
mama: sun? like sun sticker, ke?
aimar: no. teacher buka window and suruh aimar duduk tengok 'sun'.
mama: why?
aimar: because i am very good..

am definitely sure the teacher did that because he was so sleepy, most of the time, all the time :)
...

aidan: ma, did you know, daniel was pushing me during the que with his big tummy
mama: dia tak sengaja terlanggar kot..
aidan: no. dia memang saja. i saw him smiling after pushing me.

after the incident, daniel would definitely the most hated boy in school in his list
...

mama: i really don't know what can i do with aimar.. he's so naughty
aidan: lepas baby keluar, put him back in your tummy
...

ma yeen: my baby's name is no longer zara. i've changed it. aidan nak baby ma yeen nama apa?
aidan: ma yeen asik tukar nama je. tunggu je lah baby keluar, biar doktor yang bagi nama kat die.
...

aimar decided to throw tantrums and cried one morning and refused to go to school. that was the first time, and hearing the news made me mad. that afternoon, when my hub wanted to pick up aidan from school, aimar wanted to follow. he dressed up, decided to wear his school uniform!

as i was still mad at him, i still trying to figure out what's the best lesson to teach him. we've done enough pinching, and we've gone through the soft-talk method. i decided to go different approached - to reward aidan for going to school. so, i told aimar that i'm buying aidan new toys.

aimar: abg dan, mama nak beli toy untuk abang.
mama: aimar tak sedih ke for not getting any? mama beli for abang je.
aimar: tak, nanti aimar boleh share ngan abg dan bila die dah tak nak main.

he is challenging my parenting skill.
...

an advert in the TV did mentioned "Terengganu and Kelantan". aidan insisted it was "Terengganu and Kemaman". i tried corrected him, but he just wouldn't listen.

his aboh said "let him be".. and so, i will..

semangat kemamang betul
...

me - fasting :)

i'm counting hours! not because i'm hungry.. my head had been thumping for the past two hours.. yet, to my surprise, i wasn't hungry as much i thought i would be! fasting and being pregnant was not as hard as i thought.. though this wasn't my first time... it's all goes back to the intention! i intend to fast thru out the month, so i don't have to pay-back the time i missed, insyaallah.

as of now, another half hour for me to clock out from the office.. demm, i'm sleepy. lack of sugar definitely be the reason me being so lightheaded and just wish i could lie down.. definitely would be lying down in half hour time!

one thing that i realized today is that i'm admitting most of my emotional tantrums are due to my hormone. i still hate that blardy aunt of mine. i still dissatisfied with my sis. i still couldn't agree with my cousin being so nice just because she said she has her own pride. i still am very annoyed with that bengong statement from my SIL that she has to reschedule the dinner because she needed to attend to my parent's 'need' .. and i still am..

but then again, the hormone is the major catalyst!

and talking about fasting, though aidan is six and we can start training him to fast, my intention is just to train him over the weekend. somehow, i called him this afternoon, and he told me "aidan try puase, mama".. since most of his classmates were fasting, he decided to fast too.. and i couldn't be so much happier than a mother could be :) 

auummm

the harimau malaya is fighting against the lions later this evening. well. am not into football, but then again, with the FB shoutouts, the huha in the radio, the everything about we gonna qualify for the pre-qua stage, am suddenly so can't wait for the game tonight!

well, i'm not so into football. i didn't even know what offside was, and i agreed with my girlfriends if we were to watch the footies, it would merely because we wanted to satisfy our animal female instinct enjoying that delicious yummy footballers.. and that's it..

but somehow, my mum was always a sports fan (she can even enjoy watching that lawn-bowl if her team is playing!).. so, whenever there were game, especially m'sia is on the card, she'll watch. and then, we got no choice but to watch rather than wandering what she was screaming about..

then, earlier this year, the harimau malaya team been performing well..with the AFC.. and of course i still wonder is Mat Yo really tonggek or he's been trying hard to look 'that' tonggek in the field.. and Apek is a fantastic keeper.. his eyes has always been on the ball, no others.. and safiq is not bad. of course that zakuan boy mmg undeniable comel. and safee was good striker. and so, the team is worth the time to spend on!

prayers and lucks for them tonight. that 2nd keeper suck and had let go five goals during the first leg in s'pore.. but, we were not bad with three goals.. so, go harimau malaya..

as they all been singing "in the jungle, the might jungle, the Lion sleeps tonight".. we are all in for the win!

kesian itu budak

not that i care so much, especially on celebrities' life & lifestyle.. somehow, i felt like expressing my opinion on this Jimmy Shanley's issue.. from what i gathered, he was having a marriage issues, ten days after they were married. somehow, within the ten days, he still managed to get his newly-wed wife pregnant.. bravo! it took seven months for my hub & me.. anyway, we were on weekend couples on our early marriage life, so, ok la tujuh bulan tu :)

and now, the wife has given birth to beautiful zahrah shanley, macam2 lak citer...
all this while, Jimmy, been showing to the media he sufferred.. the wife hates him and don't want him to be involved with the pregnancy. well, the wife, coming from orang kaya punya background, didn't say much during the pregnancy. then, bila dah beranak, baru nak bersuara. die ckp jimmy was an abusive hub, which jimmy did not deny being 'abusive' (in what sense tak tau la kan).. then, ada lak ura2 saying that jimmy is a sex-maniac, and even requested his wife to perform sexual acts not like other would ask! then, today, i read an article, the cukur jambul event of the newborn, canteek and very very posh and rich. and no jimmy, the father.

again, i'm not into celebrity, much about their sex life. but somehow, these people have bought an insan to this world.. a beautiful pretty baby. as much as they don't want to comment and talk about in the media, the media will keep on looking for the news. and the news written were intepreted, the way the reporter intepreted them! and the only victim is that little tiny princess who hasn't got a clue on what becomes her!

i don't understand. i really don't. 

c'mon neigbour!

was listening to the radio, and a segment "tak tahan" was on air. a lady caller, called in.. and seriously commenting on her neighbour "saya dah tak tahan dah, rimas.. isteri die pakai seluar pendek, singlet tak berlengan... seksi memanjang. anak ada sorang. yang suami pulak tak tau nak buang sampah betul2 dalam tong sampah.. bla bla bla".. as much as the deejays trywing to make fun about the hot mama, the caller kept telling the listeners how annoying she was.. 

and i shut off the channel! 

ni la melayu.. frankly, memang melayu punye issue. and i hate it.. hate it to every bits! so, what if that hot mama decided to wear just a singlet with hotpants at her own home-ground? it's her house, kan? and she knew she got the bod! and if anyone should care, it would be her husband, not others. okay, so what if you just can't stand the view? for godness sake... just because you don't have the gut, don't blame others who has! and, if you really have a problem, do you really need to call in and complaint? boo-hoo, shame on you. and this is not kampung mentality. trust me, it's not! i was in kemaman for the first five years' of aidan's life. living in the two-season area i.e. draught in the first half year, and monsoon for the next six month, i must admit, i have difficulties adapting with the hotness during the 'summer' season. i wore singlet and shorts.. i tried to avoid from the neighbour's view, just because i still respected their views..but once a while, i just couldn't help it but to go to the porch with just sleevless shirts and shorts.. but then again, my neighbours never gave me 'that look' or boycott me or what-so-ever.. they might feel uncomfortable, but not up to the extend to make me feel awkward... but this lady caller, i'm sure she is overreacting. very much indeed.. c'mon ladies, if you have a problem with someone, why don't you just talk to their face? and if you don't have the gut, just shut you mouth up, la..why bother? your lost kan for not telling them. and u can't expect people to know how you felt!

yup, you can't expect people to know how you felt. even if people are wise enough to know how you feel, by not telling, people will try to ignore how you feel. so, stop being typical malay yang nak jaga hati orang. so what if after telling, they will think you are a bitch.. at least, you are a bitch with class!