An-nisa

This morning, as I was driving opposing the traffic (heaventak? the perks of not worrying going to the office to clock in just in time..).. the song 'chantek' was aired on the radio...

alalalala, tetibe angau la kan. my hubby, truth is, he can be very annoying at some point.. he can just give a direct remarks like that can really hurts a woman heart. he can just ignore his lady who needs his attention badly. he can be coldhearted and just let her be. but, that husband of mine can also be the highest gentleman of his kind. he has been the best security i've ever had. and he has always be, insyaallah, there for me as long as i'll be there for him. 

Lagu chantek ni, dia pernah 'dedicate' kat manje dia.. masa dok dengar2 dalam radio masa famous2 dulu, die cakap lagu ni untuk saya... tadi, terangau kejap. Dia suka buat benda2 sweet cam ni.. the small things that counts. 

Song / Lagu : Chantek - Altimet Feat Adeep (Fabulous Cats)
Lyrics / Lirik Chantek :
Hey wanita
Gembira dapat berjumpa
Teringat kembali kali pertama kita bersua
Ingat bila kita bersepatu serupa
Tak lama dahulu jangan kau kata kau dah lupa
Kau bersama kawan-kawan muda yang nyata
Kau paling menyerlah di antara mereka
Rambut hitam warna cokelat anak mata
Membuat aku kurang fasih bila bicara
Apakata kita ambil sedikit masa
Untuk mengenali sesama kita dengan lanjutnya
Dan jika kau rasa apa yang ku rasa
Ayuh kita ke bab kedua dan seterusnya
Chantek
Dirimu buat ku tertarik
Menghilang segala prasangka
Di jiwa
Ohh chantek
Sungguh aku cinta kamu
Dia
Pandai menjaga hati ayah dan ibunya
Kelakuannya sama dengan orang tuaku juga
Dia
Bisa cipta yg gula dari yang cuka
Pandai menukar yg duka kepada suka
Dia
Bijak mengatur acara dan juga masa
Cekap memasak garam gula secukup rasa
Dia
Pandai menjaga harta dan juga duitnya
Tetap anggun tanpa mendedahkan kulitnya
Dia
Setia pada Yang Esa satu-satunya
Memenuhi tanggungjawab 5 waktunya
Dia
Punya tempat dalam rancangan yg ku rangka
Tak usah lengah
Ayuh kita berumah tangga
Chantek
Sechantek suria menyinar
Seindah bunga yang di taman..mekar
Chantek
Dirimu buat ku tertarik
Menghilang segala prasangka
Di jiwa
Oohhh chantekk
Sungguh aku cinta kamu
Aku
Melihat kita bersama di hari tua
Dia
Masih satu tiada empat tiga atau dua
Dan walaupun kau sudah kepudaran rupa
Kau tetap cantik padaku aku tak lupa
Kita bersama di anjung luangkan masa
Kewangan kita merdeka mampu bersara
Hasil usaha kita dari masa dahulu
Cukup untuk mengisi perut anak dan cucu
Hidup santai tak perlu terburu-buru
Punya masa kerja ibadah dan juga ilmu
Anak kita dan ayahya semua sebulu
Aku bilang kau chantek dan mereka setuju

Tetiba, time nak tulis post ni, teringat ayay an-nisa yang dia share. One of the small things that counts.

 Well, cakap pasal ayat an-nisa ni, biasa la kan..rasa memang 'favourite' ayat of most men...

 

Ayat no 3, wahyu Allah yang membenarkan lelaki untuk berkahwin 2,3,atau 4.. KALAU boleh berlaku adil. Lepas tu, kita, sang isteri, sure akan highlight balik "kene berlaku ADIL, bang, maka berkahwinlan seorang sahaja"..

Tapi, biasa lah, people, everybody, are selective.. they just want to listen and believe what they just want.

Bila encik suami dah tunjuk ayat 3 surah an-nisa ni, berdebarlah pulak.. He's only on his second month working in the office onshore (yup, after nearly thirteen years offshore, and he's just as new as a fresh grad having to work in the office!), and now that he told me about this surah.. takkan dah ada awek muda cun seksi keje opis dah sangkut dah, bang?

hmmm...

And before I could say it outloud, and I guess, after a decade of marriage, he read me well.. he showed me this ayat 129 of the same surah, an-nisa..

Allahuakbar.... Allah cakap dah tuan-tuan suami semua, Allah cakap dah, of the same surah... "..dan kamu tidah akan dapat berlaku adil di antara isteri-isteri kamu sekalipun kamu bersungguh-sungguh.." Allah cakap dah... Subhanallah!

Trust me, Of all, I'm 'opposing' polygamy sebab banayk sangat case yang tak boleh buktikan any man can be fair..yang jadi mak abah ni pun belum tentu boleh adil-seadilnya antara anak-anak..inikan pulak hati suami dan isteri-isteri... hmmm. Don't get me wrong. I'm a firm believer. I trust apa-apa takdir dan qada-qadar yang Allah tulis untuk seseorang memang yang terbaik untuknya. He knows best. No doubt.

And don't get me wrong by sharing this post, i'm trying to give reason to stop polygamy. Bila Allah dah tulis dalam buku itu lah cara kita, kite kene redha. Mungkin memang takdir kita berkongsi suami.  But then, this is a stern reminder, a wake-up call to us..

1. Untuk mereka yang bagi alasan nak kahwin lebih dari dua, dan mampu untuk lunaskan segala tanggungjawab dan yakin boleh berlaku adil, dan pegang kuat dalam ayat Allah surah an-nisa ayat 3 ni, tolong baca juga Al-quran, ayat Allah surah an-nisa juga, ayat 129. Evaluate. My husband told me "I don't believe i can even be fair to myself, how could i be fair to others?". Well said, mister :)

2. Betapa indah susunan Al-Quran.. takde ruang langsung untuk dipersoalkan... Bacalah saudara muslimku..hayatilah... ayat-ayat itu penenang dikala duka, ayat-ayat itu penerang dikala gundah, ayat-ayat itu penguat dikala lemah, ayat-ayat itu ilmu tersurat dan tersirat dikala buntu... Bacalah. Sikit-sikit pun takpe, lama-lama jadi bukit. Banyak alasan yang kita boleh bagi, tebal, takde masa, tak paham.... cuba lah.. hari ni, buka Al-Quran, baca satu mukasurat..tak dapat satu mukasurat, baca separuh muka, tak dapat separuh muka, baca lah 2-3 ayat... bukan untuk sesiapa pun, untuk diri kita juga.

3. Seronoknya Al-Quran... kalau ada kelapangan, bacalah tafsir. Macam-macam cerita ada.. first-hand Allah cerita kat kita. Nak cerita sejarah, nak citer sexism, nak reminder and reflection, nak science fictions and all... semua ada... I'm still reading it, and no matter how many times i read, even as simple as tafsir fatihah, always find it such a fun book to explore. Kalau ada kelapangan, start la with the surah yang pendek2...

Ok.. dari citer jiwang encik suami, sampai ke polygamy ... what more, i just want to share.. I can never write a book review titled Al Quran.. but, really, start reading it. and you'll get what you want, Insyaallah.

book review: catatan mat luthfi

the conflict when i started picking up my long-lost favourite past time i.e. reading is that i couldn't pick what to read first, which to start from and how to end it.. truth said, to the extend i would stop going to the bookshop and stop buying books, just because i've run out of shelves and there were so many outstanding books yet to be read. 

from parenting, to soul searching to health care to learning english; there were piles of books in my collection awaiting to be explore. 

anyway, i did bought this book titled 'catatan mat luthfi'.

i did not religiously followed this famous young chap though he was so famous and actively involved in his youtube channel. but, i always think it's a kind of returning back to the society in helping these young entrepreneurs. afterall the book is not that expensive and the cover is quite interesting (yup, i do judge a book by its cover, and bear in my mind that beauty is in the eye of the beholder).

actually, the idea is to 'lure' the boys to read books. they were so into youtubes and so forth, perhaps, getting them a book from one of the famous youtuber would entice them to read.

i was locked with the book when i decided to read it first before i'd handed it to the boys. and i guess, it's quite 'high-end' for primary boys, but, parents with teenagers might want to try to buy a copy. it's easy & light reading. it's not a story book with a plot and storyline. it's just ramblings. most of the materials are funny. i laughed to most of the jokes and just couldn't stop turning the pages. it may be here and there, unstructured, the language is nowhere anywhere, but there are some points that he should get credits for. the author successfully sarcastically includes some values such as family values, religion's practices, inter-races unity, world peace in his jokes. some are deep thoughts and some are straightforward. to me, personally, brought back the memories of being a student far far away from home, in a different place, different country, different cultural and still learned the survival tricks just to live the days. it was good memories that comes with great experiences.

one of his many jokes, if i may quote:

Trust
Yesterday I made a promise to myself I'm going to get this model done, but it's still ongoing.
Ladies, don't trust guys. I'm a guy and I don't trust myself.
Well guys, don't trust ladies either. Dulu mak aku mintak toling belikan bawang sahaja dan bila aku sampai kedai dia text lagi 10 barang.....

hahaha

nope, it's fine. it taste good. great, actually.

"yang ni pedas sikit"..it has been a norm for the past one year for him to taste the food first before i could have it for my own tasting. 

the 33 times radiotherapy held surely had damaged my sense of taste. i told this before, and i will never stop telling how i really mean it when i said my food taste like piece of cardboard. it was one of the difficult times that i could never erase from my memory box. the radiotherapy meant to 'burn' all the cancer cells and target at the area where it resided. i have no rights to complain about it. the machine i was on was one of the best machine that we currently have in malaysia. unlike the usual radiotherapy machine, tomography machine is able to 'draw' and focus on the density of the radiation on the area that we need to focus, and that is the oncologist job to map it out. so, should i have any complain about the side effect, i should never forget to be thankful that someone had it worst. 

but the radiation did damage my taste sense. i had it bad at the few last sessions of the therapy as expected. i remembered how the therapist never failed to remind me and my family of feeding me lots and lots of food at the early stage so that i could last till the last few sessions. it was horrible. i couldn't take any solid, and i was depending on purely protein milk. to some extend, i failed to consume anything for my body for five days i left the doctor no choice but to 'force' it by inserting a tube through my throat and right straight to the stomach. wth! that tube lasted just for the good fifteen minutes, and as i was losing my strength, i was still able to pull out  the tube all by myself from my throat. after what i've gone through at the moment, who would have cared if i could hurt my stomach or throat or anything. i was ruined, already. 

my dad never stop brewing soup for me. i didn't eat. but he never stopped. my husband never gave up forcing me to drink the 'smelly' protein milk. i would take a sip and left the mug as it was. but he never complained and kept on making the milk for me every morning, afternoon and night. 

it was bad. i lost 15kg in weeks. 

as i've started picked up some taste, i started enjoying plain fishball soup with steam fish.  and gradually, it improved. after three months during my recovery, i ate only watery, plain food..no spices, no chillies, no curries, no anything but soup and soup and soup. i gave up. 

when the doctor told us the cancer cell has all gone in june 2014, i cried, of happiness and thankfulness. i was okay with not being able to taste good food as long as i'm cancer-free. 

but whom am i kidding?

it's horrible when everybody surroundings you were enjoying your food while you couldn't do much but ask 'is it hot? is it sour? is it spicy?'... i remembered asking the doctor 'when can i have my first bowl of laksa?' and he answered me ' not to worry, that won't be long, perhaps six month or up to twelve months.' i cried at his remarks. i missed laksa very much. i missed good sambal. i missed asam pedas.. and at that point, even having half-boiled egg with pepper was a torture to my throat. 

my family and friends saw me jumping for drinks when i had anything spicy. some would hide the food from me. some would just stop me from 'tasting' it. some would yell at me for my stubbornness. and i knew for a fact, when i was jumping for drinks, and managed to fuel up the whole bottle through my throat in one sip, i saw sympathy looks on their eyes. i pretended i was ok after that.. what more can we do at that time?

it has been a norm since then that my husband would do the QC check before we ate anything 'spicy'. the threshold varies.. my husband was always has a lower threshold of spicy food as compared to me. and i knew it was heartbreaking for him to say 'tak pedas' and saw me jumping for drink when i tasted it. 

last few weeks, he tasted the food and told me 'pedas ni'. and i tasted it, mentally preparing myself for any stunt i would pull. 

'sedap, tak pedas pun', i said. 

as i'm writing this, just as much as i was at that point of time.i'm still thankful to allah for the grace he blessed upon me. 

nikmatnya dapat makan sambal, dapat makan laksa dengan cili, dapat makan bihun goreng dan banyak lagi macam 'orang biasa'. 

i haven't had the courage to take cili padi or sambal belacan yet. but, what i'm having now it's a blessing already, alhamdullillah. 

it's a reminder to myself and others, insyallah. 

never stop appreciating the small things!

never take anything for granted. 

to my 'mister taster', don't stop tasting my food - i love it and i promise i will sometimes pretend 'a ah la, pedas' when it is actually tak pedas...

book review: rumah kecil di jabal uhud

i've picked up readings quite a lot lately.
i've always believe it's a good habit that i want to encourage my children to be doing it. and i know, it should start from me.

one of the book that i couldn't stop reading is Rumah Kecil di Jabal Uhud, nicely written by Pn Roza Roslan and published by Galeri Ilmu Sdn Bhd.
...
the book is inspirational.
i couldn't stop reading turning the page after one another.
i have never been a 'good' muslim. trust me, i'm still not. but, one thing that i believe so strongly lately is to keep on trying to be the best.

i knew that one day my hubby and i will surely go to mekah and madinah to fulfill our obligations performing haj and umrah.
i knew that i wanted to perform my haj when i'm all 'prepared' and 'ready' and will ensure i'd be a 'strict' muslim once i'm a hajjah.

how wrong have i been. and i believe many others, too.
we could actually afford to go and visit the birthplace of Rasullullah SAW, the place where Islam begins and its all-abouts, but i keep putting it on hold as i would prefer to spend the money and time in a 'better' 'interesting' place like the Europe.
how wrong have i been.

wants and perceptions change. this is no longer a want or an affordable luxury, it has turnef into need.
i'm putting on hold of any oversea's family holidays, until we could confirm on our trip to mekah & madinah.
insyaallah.
i'm very much wanting, in fact, i'm dying to  go there.. with my husband, with my boys (putting aivey on-hold due to her age).
and reading this book made missed a place i've never been so badly.

the book is written in a beautiful malay language, and best to be described in malay itself. 

buku ini satu harapan. harapan yang pintu taubat tak pernah jauh jika kita cari dan mencari tanpa lelah. harapan yang kita tidak sendirian dan tidak pernah lewat untuk berubah mengejar kebaikan. harapan yang semua insan ada kelemahan dan semua dugaan memang tersurat mengikut kemampuan, selagi kita percaya. 

buku in satu lukisan. setiap bait bagai meletakkan si pembaca berada di tengah kota berkembangnya islam. setiap perkataan membuatkan hati semakin rindu untuk terjah menziarahi kota kemegahan islam. setiap perenggan memberontak memujuk hati untuk terus berdoa agar bisa mengutip langkah yang pernah rasullullah saw susuri.  cantik sungguh lukisan itu, hingga menitis airmata kerisauan selagi tidak kesampaian hajat itu. 

buku in satu kenyataan. kenyataan hakiki yang manusia ada pelbagai rupa pelbagai cerita.. yang baik kita ikuti, yang salah kita teladani. 

sungguh, buku ini istimewa. 

...

for those who would want an 'easy' reading non-fiction book, with simple and sweet messages, get a copy of this book. 

trust me, it's fulfilling. 

lagi lagi nangis

hmm.. the most favourite topic for the past few days, weeks and months... today is d-Day. and so, how long will people talk about it?

i'm not going to talk about gst..nope, not in single mind. i do know about it, but not to the extend to talk about it. me no expert. and yup, i will be bias, just like the majority (i guess).. if only the government can really use all the collected money from the gst to the good use of every rakyat... if only..

hmmm...

well, that's a lot of hmm...

...

i'm on my fourth month of the unpaid. and two days ago, i 'broke down'.. who could have thought. perhaps, that's my check-and-balance of myself telling me i'm just normal. 

aimar's class teacher is leaving, and as i just took up the parents' rep for his class (involuntary), i have to lead the surprised farewell party we are throwing for the teacher. it was such as sudden and we were given such a short notice. 

as there were no mothers who were available to help with the food and everything, the expectation was for the not-working mother. guilty as charged! i was in Giant buying some drinks, then Pizza Hut for the food. fact is, I always love planning events, but when it comes to the last-minute arrangement, i just don't like it. but, one got do what one had to do. i was rushing here and there. the traffic was not helping. and as i was ten minutes late, i received a phone call asking where was i. nope, it's not funny when you were religiously time your activities and it slipped beyond your control. i was sending my hubby before i rushed to Pizza Hut. i knew i was late, and i panicked. my hubby wished he could help, but of course, if only he could. i missed him being my daily weekdays chauffeur! i cried when i told him "i'll be fine."

and i thought that was it. i'll cry and let go. 

but as i picked up the boys, i cried again. i was actually tired running here and there. after four month, i still not getting used to this SAHM work... it's all a SHAM! yup, of course i have extra time at home when all were gone to school and work. but that is the time i will try to do the laundry, iron the clothing .. ok, i don't clean the house. i let the weekly maid do it. but still, i'll just get busy too realized it's noon and time to pick up Aivey. Then, of sudden, picking up the boys and my hub. i was so hooked up looking and preparing revision materials for the boys and it could take hours. and i did go to the school for mothers' meet up quite often. 

somehow, it's a bit tiring. 

my hubby told me i could just say no to being the parents' rep.. but then, there were no one free enough to do things and i believe it does good for my boys for having a mother who could assist in their school activities. i couldn't keep telling people about my remission period. not that i'm always sick, but i just wish people would understand, my self-battery is not as strong as a normal person has. on the other hand, even the slightest request such as "could you get this for the school" or "could you sent that" or "could you fetch them" and many more sometimes are overbearing! i felt guilty if i have to say no, just because i'm not working. 

it's horrible, sometimes. 

i just wish i knew what is a mother's kpi so i can just get it right and i wouldn't mind just being an average achiever.  so, will i get fired if i don't perform? cry!

i just wish it could be treated as a normal 8 to 5 working hours of no kids around and i can have a peaceful lunch by myself. i do miss gossiping over lunch, and still couldn't find time to do that till today! cry!

i just wish i could have the nights and weekends all by myself instead of running here and there for kumon, computertots and art class. i have it all planned for the kids, so, good or no good?cry!

i just wish i could have the annual leave and can just simply take an EL anytime whenever i feel like it. where do i apply for my leave?

i just wish i could say 'sorry. i can't get the things for the class just because i don't want to' and won't feel guilty and conscious of people might think "she's a housewife, what else she could possibly busy doing? that's only a half hour task!'. and so, i cry and do the work, involuntarily and best i could get is "thank you". cry!

i just wish i could learn to  ignore the remarks my boys were saying "mama tak kerja,kan?". mama ada degree oversea tau! ingat mama tak kerja mama tak pandai ke? "position mama apa?" cry!

i just wish i could be a better mother and not feeling guilty when  i think my kids are getting into my nerves! 

it's horrible, sometimes. 

and all i could do is cry.. 

and yes, abang, i've bought the green MK just to comfort me. thank you, darling (in case you're wondering the cash withdrew is less then the expenses i told you) :)

  

Thanking out loud

...

My dear tok wan is 90 years old (or maybe more) and my tok is 85 (perhaps). they are old and not as strong as they used to be, surely. it always breaks my heart when i visited them, and watched them aging. back then, they would always want to cater for us whenever we were came for visits. They spoiled us with good food, food and many food. If only they could do that as they used to be, now. I love them till death. True I'm not as close to them as others, but we know how they adore and heart us. My grandma is having short-term memory loss. She couldn't remember much as she used to be. She could have put a glass of water on the table, and will be busy looking for it in the room. But, for her age, she still serves (any) food on the table for her husband when it comes to breakfast, lunch and dinner time. She would reheat the food that was on the fridge and served them. To the extent, she could hardly remember that the food has been reheated and reheated for weeks and some has even gone bad. One thing for sure, my grandad will still finish the food, no matter how, no matter what....

As long as I could remember, my dad and my mom fights more than then they could talk politely even at their age now. I'm not complaining. My mom tends to have an expert in figuring out how to test my dad's patience, every single time. And my dad, he never learned to accept that's the nature of his wife. They just got back from performing the Umrah last two weeks. The first phone call I received from my dad all the way from Mecca was "Alhamdullillah Ain, abah boleh bawak mama tawaf jalan pakai tongkat, not the wheelchair, keliling Kaabah. Alhamdullillah". With my mom's health condition and she always wanted to use the wheelchair, I knew it took a lot of patience for both of them to do what they did.

Ok, cry now. 

...

It's gonna be fifteen years this coming  30th March since the first time we were officially going out. Of course we were friends before, and were flirting with each other. 

And I'm glad, even after 15 years, he still calls me 'manje' be it when he's mad or sad, when he's sick and tired, when he's annoyed and being annoying, when he's near and far, when we are alone or in front of the family (or even public figure), i am still his 'manje', even he has a daughter he can spoiled, i'm still his 'manje' and he still spoil me. 

It started as a joke. There were me, Acap, Meri and Meri's ex. Of sudden, my boyfriend-then called me and Meri heard it differently "kau panggil Ain 'manje' ke Cap?".. 

"Memang lah dia manje aku"

and I was blushing. In the cold cold winter in Manchester, I can feel the hotness on my cheek. and that was it. I could hardly recalled what was my nick before that.. either awak or Ain. 

We've gone through a lot. It's sweet, sour, bitter, and all. And there's more to come, surely. We fight. We hug and kiss. We yell. We make-up. We hate. And we surely love. We (or maybe I) nag. We laugh. I can never stop thanking Allah for our jodoh. 

No matter how old we get, we know, our love will just be as young as we can remember and it keeps on growing. 

When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades
And the crowds don't remember my name
When my hands don't play the strings the same way, mm
I know you will still love me the same

'Cause honey your soul can never grow old, it's evergreen
Baby your smile's forever in my mind and memory

I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe it's all part of a plan
I'll just keep on making the same mistakes
Hoping that you'll understand

But baby now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are, oh

Abang, 

Please don't stop loving me.

Doa cinta kita sampai ke Jannah... 

Love you, love you, love you, love you..

Happy 300300

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqiVY9xsRJ4

raising the race against the religion

I have no intention in writing anything so taboo that would jeopardized my good relations with any of my friends; near or far, close or not-so-close, malay or non-malay, muslim or non-muslim, malaysian or non-malaysian. 

I was tagged on my FB wall to watch the S'pore PM's announcement with regards to the death of Mr LKY (Link 1: http://www.pmo.gov.sg/mediacentre/statement-prime-minister-lee-hsien-loong) and my hubby shared with me this write-up by the Prof Mohamad Tajuddin of UTM Skudai's Associate Professor who had condemned the "Malays" respond towards his "very very bold" daughter's act on hudud in Kelantan. (Link 2: http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/sideviews/article/raising-a-family-of-true-malaysians-mohamad-tajuddin-mohamad-rasdi) 

I can't stop writing and rewriting this post in my mind, and as I'm doing it now, I must share my thoughts!

I am no expert in Malay development and history and everything. Trust me. I am no racist and do not label me as a religious extremist because I will only be happy to be called an extremist by the Almighty and not anybody else. Do not get me wrong. I am not picking fights, and I am not looking for any cheap publicity. I am not a formal educator, but I'm a mother. I may not have any thesis that entitled me to be called Professor, but I have values which I upheld. 

The Prof (as I will call him in this post, though my hubby has a more suitable name for him but I doubt that I want to type it out and explain to my kids "why does mama swear and curse?") is an insult to any humankind. I guess I'm entitled to label him whatever though I'm younger in age, I'd say our experiences were matched.

Since kindergarten, I was introduced to friends from different ethnic, I was in Capitol Kindy where the principal was an Indian lady who would speak English though we could hardly understand a word she's saying. I went to a primary school with a Chinese Principal, Ms Davidson, who would carry the rattan whenever. I have few good non-malay friends, Ka Pin, Jessica and many others and we never noticed we were different from each other. We went to Jess's house to celebrate Christmas, we visited Ka Pin's during Chinese New Year. And as I entered the lower secondary, St Mary School was among the school which has balanced ratio of students of all races, from different background (rich and not-so-rich, spoilt and struggled, smart and playful). I went to a supposed to be all-Bumi boarding school in Perlis during my upper secondary, and we have ten Chinese who joined us and we were friends, good friends. 

I was blessed with the opportunity to futher up my studies in the UK, into an International College of hundreds and hundreds of nationalities worldwide and as I pursuit my Degree in UK as well, we (my and my buddies) picked a place of fewer Malay's community just so we blended in. Or perhaps, during that time, I was 'quite young' and my perception about my own race is that "these people are good for nothing and all they want is to find horrible things about you and talk about it behind your back". Yup, I was one of those who avoided Malay associations and gathering, just because. 

When I started working, I set my ambition high. I wanted to work with foreigners. I landed a good great job with a local company.. we were all Malays and Iraqis. I quit as I wanted to work with a MNC and hired to work with the Americans. But, as manufacturing is not really my cup of tea, I resigned and got a job with another MNC, and my colleages were of various races, chinese, malays, indians, english, scottish, greek, americans and we worked with the japanese, french and italianos, 

There you go, don't tell me I can't argue with this Prof who claimed to have vast experiences with people worldwide while his resume (online) was just Malaysia, USA, Asia (perhaps) and others that he met over the worldwide seminar or educational conferences of days and weeks events. Oh, and he went to the Chinese school... so?

I have no issues with any of the races. I have few non-malay close friends (whom I still owe lunch meetups..sorry guys!), I picked the house we bought with a road of less malay. My neighbour nextdoor is nice chinese couple with two lovely children. And our there were indians and more chinese and more indians, and malays too. 

I do not want to post this blog at the first place as I do not want these lovely people think of me being too strong on my roots. They might read this post in different tone, and please don't let it be in a negative tone as I have no intention at all. 

And I have no intention to belittle my roots, the Malays, by all means. I always thinks it's the malay that is lazy. it's the malay that is too unconventional and deny development. it's the malay that is closed-mind. But, I remembered talking to one of my chinese friend who is complaining about it's the chinese who is kiase, it's the chinese who is selfish. it's the chinese who is rude. and on and on... trust me. should there be any racist issue raised by anybody, it's the race itself.. we know best how our race is because we are part of the race!be it good or bad!

out of sudden, due to one stupidity who knew the risk she's taking in stirring the community's unison (and then started apologizing with such an unacceptable stupid reason), the father came to her rescue. 

again, i'm a parent too. when someone scolded my child, will always be not the same feeling of when i yelled at my child for the same mistake he did. we will be defensive. we will protect them no matter how silly they behaved. but The Prof is being ridiculous. His grown-up daughter should be matured enough to know the risk she's taking. And as she took it, The Prof, a father who has all the time in the child world to groom his daughter, blame the Malay. He blame the education system. No doubt, I have issues with our education system. But that doesn't mean there's nothing I can do about it. If I can't change the generation, I can get it right with my children. The science syllabus did not teach the animal classification but teach them about animals lay egg vs give birth.. I introduce to him reptiles and mammals. We can surely blame the syllabus, but we can sure make it right. Especially, for The Prof. He is the educator,part of the system. What was on his mind when he made such remarks? All he can proved is what a failure he is, as a father who had a chance to teach his kid values but she shows no value to the public, and he failed big time being a lecturer in public university and couldn't produce any good new generation that he even needed to send his kids to the private universities to educate them. i was mad when i read his column, but as i wrote this, i sympathised.. o my o my, how incompetent and impotent this guy is!

this guy was so ashamed of his own root (while he/his child enjoyed the 'partial loan from MARA' and I'm sure he was on either JPA or MARA when he was pursuing his degree oversea). Shame on you Prof!! Shame on you!!!! yes, i agree, i do feel guilty to some of my non-malay friends who were having difficulties securing loans and scholarships due to the non-bumi status, but then again.. there's always a give and take which i don't intend to elaborate here. but you, riding on your malay status, and giving such remarks to your own status, speaks for your intellectual level; zero or perhaps -104.

so, what do you do best? 

a father? toot!!!! we've seen it all!

an educator? toot!! i have friends who are 'real' professor (and i mean not associates!!) that all they care about the students, the well beings and even the parents.. while they can have their own good life doing some other thing... that, sir, is an educator! you?? you are a big joke in the system. please remove yourself before you embarrassed the field sooner or later!!!!

a good muslim??? o my, this is the big disgrace and insult to intelligent. i'm okay with the UMNO and PERKASA people who could never differentiate Malay and Islam. It was annoying and unacceptable at first. and it was the main reason I don't vote. but then, learning that most of them are not so privileged and blessed with good knowledge and high-level of thinking/education, I opt not to comment about it. but you???? you??? which part of RACE and RELIGION that you've can't seem to understand??? For goodness (it sounds more nicer with the f&*!-word) sake, it  never is the same!!!!! even my 7-year-old son knew that! Malay is a race and Islam is a religion!! you can't relate malay and islam as the same. especially for a person with such a broad "international" exposure like you, you can't equate them!!!!! what's so difficult to understand that??? That is why, when you filled in any form, they will be race column and religion column.. because it's not the same!!!!

so, you claimed you knew Islam, you learned Quran, you go to the mosque and you watched the youtube about Islam. Alhamdullillah. but then again, to quote "Second, motivation gurus and Western spiritualists teach us that our differences in race and religions are our strengths and not a cause for conflict. No man can live alone and so likewise no race or society can exist."  O mister, we, Islam, do not need the motivation gurus or the Western spiritualists to tell you that. Look in the Quran (and if you got it misprint, please let me buy you a copy, of the right one) which specifically tell us

"O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted."

-Surat Al-Ĥujurāt, verse 13-

Really? You didn't know this exist that you need motivation gurus for that? Look, I'm no angel. I was (as you put it in your write up) once not "ritualistic Islamic". I failed to pray as I should, and tudung was way not too cool for a person that have a nice natural curl like me. But of course, my religion is always a Muslim. And then, news of me diagnosed with cancer woke me up. While it might be such a traumatic disaster, I still can't thank Allah enough how blessed I am to have this turning point. Some (and perhaps most) of my friends might think I have converted myself to an ISIS organization. They are more scared to approach me as compared to my non-Muslim friends. But of course, if the change is good, why can't accept it? And trust me, people misjudged others. We never knew what are others' struggles..we have to stop this mindset of 'assuming' and 'judging' just because of their two-liners FB status. And I do not want to judge you, sir. But, then, you were so 'open' with such comments and unintelligent  remarks that could hardly avoid people from judging. why? why? why? why did you do what you did??????????

Please Prof, be thankful that you are even entitled to enjoy the free air you are breathing in and out at no charge by the Almighty. Be grateful that you are born from you mother's womb and has the privileged to hear the azan the second you came to this world. Be proud of you root being a Malay, an ethnic that has its own identity (and even Mr PM of Singapore started the condolences speech in Malay and we knew he has the option not to do so ). Just be wise when you want to speak your mind up because looking at it now, it's totally has been violated and misused!!!!!!

Note to my children (and The Prof too):
1. Stop the blaming culture!! That's coward!
2. Walk your talk!! Do not claim you are good at something (such as educating young generation) and reflect the other way round (and nope, insulting anybody or anything publicly is not educating!)
3. Learn the difference!!Race and religions is not the same!! Never!!
4. Read!!Read!!Read!! Especially before you want to voice your ridiculous thought out loud to the public!
5. Be smart! Take calculated risk only when you are ready! Once you've sealed the deal, be manly enough to face it!  
6, Respect others! If you can't say anything nice, just don't say anything!
7. Do not look down on others just because you were an oversea grad! You were supposed to go and venture the outside world so that you can evaluate what's good and what's bad and pick your choice and open your mind! Just because people are not in sync and agreeable to you, doesn't mean you are right and they are wrong!
8. Have lots of friends of all races, all ages, all beliefs and all antiques. Share their experience and vice versa!! 
9. Be proud of your roots!!
10. Count your blessings!! 
....

There you go, I've said it.. phew!!!!
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