Tuesday, July 28, 2015

syawal 1436

what i want to write is nothing special. 
but, just in case, in future i wonder what i did last raya, at least i can dig out old post and find this. 
happened that i've been blogging since Nov 2009, and i love reading my old posts. 
so, raya 2015..it's the first of many... it brought different (good different) meaning, and i never want to stop being thankful and syukur to the blessing bestowed upon us. alhamdullillah.
ramadhan 2015 was a challenge to me. while 2014 was supposed to be a 'tough' one, i found that as much as i am 'fitter' than i used to be last year, my mind was not. 

o my, it's difficult. 
trust me, we can have all the physical strength in us, but without a strong mind and emotion, you could be ruined. 
and i live to tell, what you think do matters. 
i believe i was strong enough to go through ten sessions of chemo and 33 sessions of radiotherapy, and that's all it took for me to be where i am now. 
reality, the treatment was horrible, the side effect was never-ending. 
but with a strong mind, alhamdullillah, i knew i am all-rite. 

this ramadhan, i was a bit disturbed. 
we, the parents, were called by the school regards to aidan was having some anger management issues (and i'm yet to reserve on the story about it).. 
we, the couple, were 'adapting' with some changes in our life (and no worries, it's all parts and parcels of marriage life)
i, the new-stay-at-home wife cum mom, still figuring out what my KPIs are. 
apparently, i was so disturbed and it is damaging myself and people that matters in my life. 

having an unprepared mindset and unstable emotion, won't help you much with you living your life though you are physically fit. 
the trick is, doa. it helps!

on the other hand, talking about raya.. it was a blessed one, alhamdullillah. 

my little sister and her family was unable to be around due to work commitment. we do missed them. my brother and his family came home. and trust me, i was happy to know they did spend time with my parents more than they used to. alhamdullillah. i guess, it's all about communicating what we think should be done. my brother, though not as little as he used to be, still need to be guided. the issue with my parents, they love their children too much to the extend they don't complain about us, and we will never knew if nobody told us. they are not getting any younger, and so do we. it's not a time to berasa hati and so-ever. tapi, biasalah, bila diusia mama abah sekarang ni, we knew the emotion plays the bigger roles. 

i, for the first time in 37 years, all by myself, became my parents' no 1 helper in preparing the meals. the day before raya, i brought them to the butcher, the markets and all so. i help with the rendang and ketupat. yes, i was a spoiled child, that most of the time, i didn't helped them around. i missed those when i was young and i knew i have to make it up to them while we can. 

pagi raya was great. especially when everybody came to the house and enjoying every single bonding session we could. yup, we missed the bintulu family, but then, nak buat camne, hidup perantau... 

we were all dressed beautifully. we were in royal blue. i guess (ok, my hubby will tell me 'why must you assume, as usual?'), my hubby didn't like the colour as much as i do. he preferred last year's baju. but then, we still look good together. 

the second raya was another story. the plan was to celebrate it with the east-coast family. we had it all well. i rarely wore baju kurung when travelling. this time, i wanted to make a different, something nice and special. raya kan. it was feel-good moment when you could fit in your eleven years baju nikah and your hubby wore the same baju for the same event. it was great. sayang, tak sempat nak berselfie.. we had some incident. while in the car on our way up east, the car gave signals after signals that it was having issues, to the extend there were smoke all over and we had to pullover by the roadside. 

alhamdullillah. semua okay. there were few passers-by and i was impressed how genuine they were to help. 

hari-hari tuhan nak kasik kite beringat. 

last weekend, we went to kemaman. pergi beraya. we met old friends and it was great. 

zaman kita sekarang ni, masa datang dan pergi begitu saje. 
kawan-kawan, sedara-mara memang ada.. memang ingat sokmo.. tapi, asyik tiada kelapangan nak cari waktu nak jumpa dan bercerite. 

and getting the opportunity, always a good feeling. 
raya tak habis lagi. 

and i'm catching up with my ramadhan. 
ya allah, beri kami kesempatan untuk ramadhan yang akan datang. 
till now, jangan dikurangkan amalan ramadhan lepas untuk yang akan datang. 

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