Why do I need a 2nd degree?

Alhamdulillah, I completed all the five exams for the Semester, in hoping & praying hard that I would still got the chance to proceed to the next semester, on scholarship. 

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What have I learned so far?

If I were to technically answer that question, I would say, I learned Aqeedah 101, Fiqh 101, Tajweed 101, Arabic 101 and Adaab 101. 

But, I know, I learned more than what those subjects were...indeed.

Alhamdulillah. 

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As much as I could recall, I remembered each and every sights of the faces thrown to me by my three kids when I told them, "I got a scholarship to learn online."

Aimar asked me, "Doing Masters?"

And so I told him, "Nope. Mama sambung buat 2nd degree, a four year full-time online courses." 

So, Aidan asked me, "2nd degree in?"

"Islamic Studies."

Aivey asked, "and after that?"

"What after that?"

Aidan asked to clarify, "You gonna teach? or what's next?"

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My kids were totally confused - and I don't blame them. I was them, before. Alhamdulillah. I am blessed with an extra intelligence as compared to my other siblings, and cousins that I got to boarding school and even went to oversea when the economic turned down most of my batchmate dreams and they could just further their degree studies locally instead of going abroad. 

I got a good result for my IB, that I got into one of the good engineering school in the UK, back in 1997.. alhamdulillah... I was offered a place in IC, which would be a dream of most engineering students, but I didn't get the course that I wanted to learn; so, I settled for UMIST.

(and at times me writing this, sadly, there's no more UMIST as it has merged under the University of Manchester wings... so, those who knew, knows!)

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After finishing school, I got a job as an engineer.. though I was expecting for the bigger player in the industries, I was lucky enough to be employ by a small local company which I adored so much, Alhamdulillah..

In fact, that small local company was the reason I could 'boast' to my kids, "I was in Baghdad as a lady engineer when king Saddam Hussein was still alive and in power and I love Iraq!"

Alhamdulillah

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Ok, to cut things short, after 14 years working, which i finally settled with working with my 'dream company'... I retired and became a not working mom at home... That was 8 years ago ~ and I still don't consider I'm a full time housewife for I didn't do much of a typical housewife thingy works.. Alhamdulillah... I have the coolest husband for me, Alhamdulillah.

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So, why do I need to trouble myself to further up my studies when I had it all done back then? What more do I want? 

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The final exam gave me a nudge! I realized, it wasn't as 'easy' as I thought it would be ~ not the classes, the modules or the lessons... but the learnings. 

I've been a Muslim for the entire 45 years of my life. 

I know my aqeedah is tawheedullah, belief in Allah and The One and Only God, Laailaha illallah. Yet, learning Aqeedah 101 made me realized I didn't have any knowledge of who I'm worshipping.. Astaghfirullah...Most of us got steer away with aqeedah, without know what aqeedah and tawheed are!

Ok, don't let me started with fiqh and the madhabs.. really, there were more than 4 madhabs in the Islamic world? And really, there were times where they were four camps of the major madhabs surrounding the Kaabah so that people can pray according to their madhabs? Really??????

Alhamdulillah.. Arabic is quite easy for me and I guess for most of the students..but wait, why would they even bother to segragate the moon and the sun letter????

I love Tajweed very much! Subhanallah... I always wanted to learn how to read the Quran appropriately. I remembered telling my hubby, I wanted to enrol to Quranic class with a one-to-one ustadhah.... And having Tajweed, at 2:30am on Friday, on weekly basis, with a group 10 under 1 sheikha from Egypt was not something that I could have imagines. Mashaallah. I felt so humbled when I felt the love and mercy of Allah, and still am feeling such humbleness for I don't think I deserve such kindness, Subhanallah. 

Adaab 101? I remembered Aidan tellingme, that must be the easiest subject to score on. Oppss!!!! To everyone surprise, adaab is the most difficult subject to score, for real!!! Don't ask me, but one thing I learned ~ as simple as adaab need more effort than other 'basic' I thought should be!

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So, as I was doing the exam for the past weeks, I prayed hard. I knew I could not afford to continue the study if I didn't get to continue on the scholarship. And I knew that I wanted to score with flying colours as it was supposed to be 'only the first semester'.

Only to realized, it would be His Mercy if I were to pass and continue on the scholarship. All I need is pray hard after all the effort I've put ~ not for the scholarship, but for the opportunity to learn things that I should learn loong ago, before anything!

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Yup, when the kids asked me, "why do you need a 2nd degree? why don't you do the MEng instead? are you going to be a lecturer or something? are you going to work again?"

I told them, "I missed the opportunity to know about the wajib stuff I should know when I was younger ~ this is the beauty, Allah gave me the chance now, so that I can share it with you guys, insyaallah. I want to further up my studies so that I know. I want it, for Allah, lillahi!"

May Allah helps me in this path for if not, I'll always be at the losing side. 

Ya Allah, guides me, Ya Allah. 

Amiin allahumma amiin