'Adala

 While studying my fiqh subject for tomorrow's final, I read upon this

".. 

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And wanted to keep this post here for reminder untuk anak-anak bujang mama yang bakal jadi suami nanti. Be just! Berdosa kalau tak do just to your wife.. and to be just is not easy! It's just being fair or just fulfilling obligations... it's more than one can think of! 

Get it prepared before you are thinking of getting married. Will be able to be just to my wife? Will I even able to be just myself? 
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Nah sharing direct verses in the Quran about marriage

The Quran discusses marriage in several verses, providing guidance and principles for marital relationships. Here are some of the key verses that directly address marriage:

Surah An-Nisa (4:1): This verse emphasizes the importance of family ties and the creation of spouses from a single soul.

"O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed, Allah is ever, over you, an Observer."

Surah An-Nisa (4:3): This verse discusses the permissibility and conditions of polygamy.

"And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice]."

Surah Ar-Rum (30:21): This verse highlights the purpose and beauty of marriage.

"And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought."

Surah An-Nur (24:32): This verse encourages marriage and assures that Allah will provide for those who marry.

"And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty. And Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing."

Surah Al-Baqarah (2:221): This verse advises against marrying polytheists.

"And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember."

Surah Al-Baqarah (2:232): This verse addresses the issue of divorced women and their rights to remarry.

"And when you divorce women and they have [nearly] fulfilled their term, do not prevent them from remarrying their [former] husbands if they agree among themselves on an acceptable basis. That is instructed to whoever of you believes in Allah and the Last Day. That is better for you and purer, and Allah knows and you know not."

These verses provide a framework for understanding the Islamic perspective on marriage, emphasizing the importance of justice, mercy, affection, and the mutual rights and responsibilities of spouses.

Qana'ah, to be content

This sem, KIU put tazkiyah an-nafs as part of sem 5 syllabus. 

Banyak benda tazkiyah an-nafs ni yang kita rasa kita tahu, tapi sebenarnya banyak lagi yang kita tak tahu. 

Kita tahu kita kena rasa content (cukup), kita kena sabar dan jangan bersedih. 

Tapi kita pun tahu benda tu tak mudah.. 

Nak rasa cukup.. peghh... kita dok nak lebih nak lebih nak lebih, tak pernah rasa cukup. 

Tak mudah nak rasa cukup. 

Qana'ah, قناعة, being content, strongly rooted from the pillars of eeman, believing in qadaa' and qadr Allah.

It revolves around few aspects: 

1. Gratitude and Appreciation: recognizing and being thankful for the blessings one already possesses. 

 وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ وَلَئِن كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِي لَشَدِيدٌ

"And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, 'If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.'"[Ibrahim14:7]

2. Moderation and Simplicity: Embracing a simple lifestyle and avoiding excessive desires and materialism 

وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا أَنفَقُوا لَمْ يُسْرِفُوا وَلَمْ يَقْتُرُوا وَكَانَ بَيْنَ ذَٰلِكَ قَوَامًا

"And [they are] those who, when they spend, do so not excessively or sparingly but are ever, between that, [justly] moderate." [Al-Furqan 25:67]

3. Inner Peace: reducing anxiety and stress related to material pursuits and comparisons with others.

Rasulullah SAW said, "He has succeeded who has accepted Islam, who has been provided with sufficient for his wants, and whom Allah has made content with what He has given him." [ Sahih Muslim]

4. Trust in Divine Provision: connected with Tawakkul (trust in God). 

قُل لَّن يُصِيبَنَا إِلَّا مَا كَتَبَ اللَّهُ لَنَا هُوَ مَوْلَانَا وَعَلَى اللَّهِ فَلْيَتَوَكَّلِ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ

"Say, 'Never will we be struck except by what Allah has decreed for us; He is our protector.' And upon Allah let the believers rely." [At-Tawbah 9:51]

5. Self-Control and Discipline: requires self-discipline to control desires and avoid being swayed by societal pressures or consumerism.

فَمَا أُوتِيتُم مِّن شَيْءٍ فَمَتَاعُ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا ۖ وَمَا عِندَ اللَّهِ خَيْرٌ وَأَبْقَىٰ لِلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَلَىٰ رَبِّهِمْ يَتَوَكَّلُونَ

"So whatever thing you have been given - it is [but] for enjoyment of the worldly life. But what is with Allah is better and more lasting for those who have believed and upon their Lord rely." [Ash-Shura 42:36]

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Nak rasa cukup ni tak mudah ~ especially untuk anak muda yang masih belum puas nak hidup.. rasa semua tak dapat lagi... rasa semua belum ada lagi... 

Untuk anak-anak mama, mama pesan, kita pernah takde benda, 4 tahun apa takde income, yet, we survived. If you guys forgotten about that time, let me remind you again and again.. it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy. Alhamdulillah, nasib baik adik-beradik aboh ada, nasib baik kekawan mama cakna. Mashaallah, tak pernah kita rasa tak cukup waktu. 

Rasa cukup ni, bukan lah bermakna kita tinggal dunia, tak perlu usaha untuk rezeki. Usaha itu masih kena usaha. Cita-cita itu mesti mau ada. Ikatkan balik cita-cita dan harapan itu pada Allah. Bukan pada dunia.... as simple as ko nak gi cari ilmu... 'ya allah, aku nak gi belajar, nak dapat good income, good life, untuk Engkau Ya Allah, untuk hidup beribadah mengabdikan diri padaMu, untuk bantu ummah, untuk Islam. cukupkanlah aku, Ya Allah.'

Niat, usaha, eeman, yakin, tawakkal. 

Cukup. 

Rasulullah SAW said, "Richness is not having many possessions, but richness is being content with oneself."

Sakit putus cinta

Sambung citer pasal cinta.. 
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Puppy love, cinta monyet and all sorts.. labellah apa pun nak label. 

At this age, somehow I am still 'blushing' thinking about it. 

Cinta tu best! Masa courting time waktu bercinta tu lagi-lagi best... 

Dulu, memang tak paham konsep halal haram syaitan sunnah semua ni... Tahu, tapi tak mahu faham. Main terjah je ikut nafsu. 

Aidan pernah jatuh cinta... Mama tahu pun secara tak sengaja. Rasa nak dekat SPM kot baru bercinta... bila naik form 5. Tapi, lepas tu, masa amik result SPM, keadaan not as per planned.. Ada konflik, ada disagreement yang masing-masing hard-headed, takleh nak resolved  and it came to its end. 

Mama takmo komen panjang, takmo citer panjang... mama pick-up mana yang mama nampak dan 'rasa'. Kalau salah nampak and rasa mama, salah lah. 

Mama tak tahu citer belah pompuan ~ tapi Mama tengok bila Aidan sedih, mama jadi sedih. Perit bila putus cinta. Tambah-tambah bila ko rasa memang ko betul-betul sayang kat org tu.. bila ko rasa takde orang lain dah boleh bagi ko rasa cinta macam yang dia bagi.. Bila putus cinta, tak kisahlah for whatever reason, ko yang putuskan ke, dia yang mintak putus ke... tapi confirm ko sedih sebab ko sayang. 

Yup, ko akan move on. Ko mungkin akan balik semula pada dia. Atau kau mungkin akan jumpa lain... yang kau akan jumpa, mungkin itu jodoh kekal ko.. atau mungkin juga kau akan disakiti dan terus mencari cinta. 

Nak citer pasa putus cinter, not in this post. 

This time, Mama nak citer wearing my Mama's hat. Honestly, I just wished I could hug Aidan knowing that he is in pain sebab sakit putus cinta. Dengar lagi listing spotify dia.. "Jika kau bercinta lagi...." alahai... terus Mama cakap dalam hati, "AbgDan, mama know you are strong. But Mama also wants you to know, sometimes, all you have to do is cry it out loud!"

Dulu, masa kat primary, waktu Daniel and Siddiq lebih rapat dengan Aisar sampai tak baper nak geng ngan Aidan, Aidan sedih, Aidan nangis tepi longkang waktu sampai kat kete.. Mama tanya, "naper, bang?"... Aidan cakap, "Aidan sendiri tak tahu. Aidan sedih je sebab orang ignore Aidan."

Waktu tu, mama cakap, "nangis lah bang. lepas ni, you'll do good. takpe lah diorang ignore Aidan ke or not. ada kawan lain boleh kawan aidan gak. nanti-nanti diorang kawan gak ngan Aidan. just keep on being good to everyone."

And so, now, though it involves girl, a special girl that you were smitten by.. Mama nak pesan yang sama... nangis lah bang. lepas ni, AbgDan will do good. AbgDan mungkin akan jumpa balik dia, baik balik dengan dia, sambing balik cinta yang terputus. Atau AbgDan memang mungkin tak terus contact dia, tak tahu apa citer dia... masa tu, biarkan lah dia. tak yah kejar dah bang. Takmo nanti, AbgDan sendiri yang terluka sampai bila-bila. Hati yang dah luka tu, cepat-cepat sembuhkan. AbgDan nak jaan jauh lagi, nak jumpa ramai lagi orang, Inshaallah.. kalau tak masa kat university nanti, masa kerja pun akan jumpa ramai lagi manusia. 

Jodoh tu AbgDan, bukan kita tentukan. Semua dah Allah qadrkan. Kita kena selalu doa.. semoga dapat jodoh yang baik-baik.. dapat orang yang betul-betul cinta kita, kerana Allah Ta'ala. Cinta adanya kita atas segala apa yang Allah bagi kat kita, takdirkan untuk kita. Cintalah dia yang cinta Allah lebih dari segalanya. 

Mama takkan putus doa untuk anak-anak... semoga kalian bertemu cinta bahagia yang akan bawak kalian kumpul ramai-ramai di Jannah. Allahumma ameen. 

Tudung terbakar

Aivey baru lepas call kejap ni ~ menangis. 

Dia sedih... 

She said she tripped and hurt her kaki, and she was limping as she was on her way to iron her tudung. 
"Saya nak pakai tudung baru untuk celebration raya esok. Saya on iron. Saya dah check dah iron tu tak panas sangat. Lepas tu, saya betul-betulkan sikit tudung tu, and amik iron and press down the tudung. Tetiba, iron tu panas sangat and tudung tu koyak. Saya sedih Ma. Tudung tu tudung baru. Saya mintak kawan belikan sewing kit, saya jahit tudung tu nak kasik fit-fit, saya tak pernah pakai lagi.. ingat nak rasmikan esok... tapi, langsung tak boleh pakai. dahlah mahal. Saya sedih mama..."

And so, panjang lebarlah mama bersembang dengan dia. 

...

As I told her, this is your first test, and trust me, they will be 'more tudung that will be burnt in the process of you growing up!'

Vy, it's life!

No point crying over the burnt tudung. 

There will be more to come. 

But, things are not getting better if you don't learn from the lesson you are getting the first time. 

As for now, you know, you did you best, yet, there sure are something missing. 

Istighfar ~ remove the dark spots. 

Perhaps you forgot to recite Bismillah before you start ironing. 

Remember that. Remember Him in everything you do. 

And trust me, things will get smooth if you really ask Him to guide you. 

Vy, we never ask Him to teach us to breathe.. but it is His will that we are breathing without being taught by anybody and even by ourselves. It is His blessings that we are breathing, and another abundance blessings that we get to know Him in this life. 

Just don't leave Him. 

Allahu musta'an. 

Vy, masa awak call mama, cakap ngan mama and you are all teary... out of sudden, ada kakak lalu dekat public phone, and she must have seen you crying that she passed a pack of Corntoz to you ~ Vy, that is the hikmah of you tripping off, limping, iron tudung baru and terkoyak, and you called mama and cried... out of blue, ada kakak of you don't know who pass you some food to console you... did you ask for it? 
No sayang ~ it was Him. Allah taqdirkan kakak tu nampak awak nangis, lembutkan hati dia nak buat baik dengan awak, out of blue, even she can choose to ignore you. 

May Allah reward the kakak. 

Vy, Allah tu baik. 

Takde satu ujian yang Dia hantar kat kita, yang kita tak mampu nak atasi... Semuanya ikut kemampuan kita, Vy. 

And trust me Vy, tak pernah takde hikmah atas segala ujian.. 
Like today ~ awak sedih, tudung terbakar.. dan ada insan buat baik kat awak. 

Vy, nanti, bila awak jadi kakak senior, remember to be nice bila nampak ada adik Form 1 sakan menangis sedih sebab stress tudung dia terbakar sebab dia tak tahu nak iron... 
Smile, teach her and make du'a for her. 
Sebab, you were here tonight. 

Vy, Mama tahu you will pass more 'tests' lepas ni ~ you are all good.. 
All you have to do is to have Him, all the time, 24-7. 
Ingat, inshaallah. 

The strong-headed me

I have always considered myself as 'strong-headed' by default!

Trust me ~ it's a hard process... 

Not being strong-head, but to mellow down, to reflect the softer side of mine, to show wisdom (though I might have none)... just because.

Again and again, every time I wish I could be 'less' strong-head, that would be the most difficult part!

I was wandering - why do I behave such way?

Was I been raised in a 'strong-head's family that it just run in my blood?

Was I being 'tortured' and abused in the past that I just don't know the softer part of the world?

Was it just me, being the eldest, and that was it?

Allahu musta'an...

For whatever reasons, I know I don't need to know just to justify on my actions. 

I know that I have to cool down and mellow down ~ so that I won't annoy people and I won't feel hurt when people are not responsive to me. 

My dear husband was telling me ~ " that was one of the character that make me fell in love with you, and still do "

He said, I would stick to what I say, my aims and goals and I would strive my best to thrive it. 

Wow! Did I? 

I always thought I am all but a thriver! hahaha

But then again ~ I guess, people behave differently, depending on how he or she been treated. We can be the most manje person to our spouse, and yet such a hard-headed among our buddies. We can be the most tolerant employee and yet such a strict mom at home. 

I just wish I wasn't as 'harsher' as I used to be ~ at least I thought I was harsh, and I am currently not to be harsh in times. 

I wanted anything but to hurt people. 

I used to not care about how people feels as I always wanted the world to rotate around me. 

I know, I was wrong. 

I just want how miserable I am now to everyone that I've wronged, for I know I was wronged and I shouldn't. I really hope that Allah SWT put His Mercy and forgive all those that I've wronged before the Day of Judgement. 
I have no other justifications, excuses and reasons of why I did what I did. 

As much as I seek Allah's guide to forgive me, to have mercy on me, and to guide me to be softer than I used to be ~ I will consistently pray that Allah forgives everyone that I have wronged for being strong-headed and made their life difficult because of me. 
If you happen to be one of those, please forgive me. 

Kibr

How can anyone shut someone so dear to you, should it not be due to pure hatred? 
Or was it just because of ego? 

How can someone be deceived with the word 'ego'? Isn't that means arrogance? Isn't only Allah entitled to have the names and attributes of al-kibr? How could anyone forget how arrogant Iblis have been? WHy would anyone want to follow his footsteps? 

To make it worst, the person being arrogance is also the same person making du'a to Allah, asking for His blessing and His mercy. How is that possible? How could one having the character of human's clear enemy and asking for Allah's mercy? Who is the person deceiving? Themselves or the Owner of Mercy? 

Astaghfirullah al-'azeem. 

I still can't compute. 

I tried Ya Allah. 

May I not be one of those who has the character of Iblis. Wa na'udzubillah. 

Some people

Kekadangkan, ada je setubuh manusia yang ntah datang dari mana-mana, hadir dalam hidup kau, dengan cara paling menyakitkan hati.... rasa mcm nak tampar-tampar je muka dia!
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I really can't empathise on how some people think ~ I used to call these people stupid... then, I upgrade their label to no common sense... now that I've made promised to myself to watch my words, my thinking and my action... I just couldn't find any label to name these type of people.. I would make du'a so that Allah would guide them... 

instead, as today, I realised it is me who need guidance!!!

I have wronged so many people from the past. 

Being an elder and very bold in my thinking and words, my principle would be "tell the truth or you shall forever lie!" 

I am a bad liar, so I won't lie! I can't lie! I just don't lie for I'm sure, sooner or later, the truth will show itself and by then I would be doomed! So, I don't lie ... (hahaha, yaarrr rigghtt... bohong sunat tu sekali sekala ada gak lah terlepas). 

But my point is, I would speak my mind out if I deem it's true. During my younger years, I would accompanied the so-called truth with sacarsm, smirking and twirling my eyeslids. Astaghfirullah.. I hated my past self. I am no saint today, but I was soooo mean previously. If only people knew how I never stop seeking forgiveness for myself and for those who I've wronged.... For any of you who I have wronged... please forgive me! I know, I was mean and I should have not!!!

Well, yesterday - I was tested, not once but twice. I really don't think how some people think. They would asked you genuine questions, show interest on what they think you have knowledge of, asking for your opinions.. but when you blurt all out, being honest in giving your own personal opinion that they asked for, they started responding to you like ~ oooo..no, I'm not taking your option.. I have better option, i wasn't even considering your option at the very beginning...... and so... WHY DID YOU ASK ME AT THE FIRST PLACE???? 

Yup, I know - to test my patience.. Alhamdulillah.. I failed, but not miserably.. It was near missed.. I was about to share in my social media.. but I ended up having a good chat with chatgpt.. hahaha

...

So, did I every fully described Aivey got into MRSM? 

Alhamdulillah.. she completed Ramadan in Pengkalan Hulu... it wasn't easy, but she did it! Unlike all her ex-KMS friends, she didn't opt for MRSM IGCSE... after seeing the struggle Aidan has gone thru and not much benefit gained from it, except that he got a year headstart for his SPM revision... I don't see it is best to enrol Aivey to IGCSE... though she wished she could... I told her, "thank me later. I know I have choose the best for you, Insyaallah.. "

So, she got thru the MRSM Premier... 

Before there were IGCSE, Ulul Albab or whatever, don't people know that there were only Premier MRSM???? So, why is that people sounding like "naa... Premier is not for the scorer!"

I beg to differ.. 

I always believe, the school, though might have its impact on the result of their students, but the major role would still be the students themselve... 

campaklah kat mana pun, kalau menjadi, menjadi gak... 

Ok, now I'm 'cooler'. I guess, I have to stop here, before I spilled out more details on why I was mad at some people... kang satu-satu aib aku list down kang..bukan boleh percaya waswisu fi suduuri an-naas... sedap je kang mengata.. 

Astaghfirullah