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Susahnya nak 'let go'

Susahnya nak redha

Susahnya nak terima kenyataan. 

Walhal kita tahu, itu semua ketentuan dari Yang Esa

dan kita tahu, yang dari Yang Esa semua yang terbaik. 

tapi, kita masih rasa hati tak senang... 

...

One after another cerita bertimpa-timpa menjenguk jiwa. 

Aidan register MFI 1st August - tarukh yang sama, result PETRONAS scholarship keluar.. 

We put high hopes on it. 

Belum ada rezeki Aidan sampai hari ini. 

He is being put on waiting list, and if by the 15th takde result, considered tak dapat.

And so, we are still hopeful. 

I was hopeful sebab I saw the hopes that Aidan have in his heart and mind. 

He said he was ok, but I am his mama for 18 years this year.. I know my son!

I don't think any mom could bear knowing her anak was tearing apart deep inside, not sharing how he felt... 

Just when he was heartbroken masa dapat result sebab masa tu dia 'gaduh' ngan girlfriend (now ex) dia. 

He didn't say a word masa tu, but I can totally understand how he felt.. 
Not just I could empathy.. I sympathize for I know only Allah can mend his broken heart and I made du'a for that. 

So, as am writing this post, masih belum ada news on PETRONAS waiting list. 

Jauh dah rasa nak grab. 

I am beyond hopeful.. I know if it happen, it happen ~ semuanya nikmat kuasa Yang Mah Memberi. 

Apa-apa pun yang Allah beri lepas 15hb nanti, kami benar-benar syukuri.. 

I definitely know, itu yang terbaik untuk Aidan. 

Abang was telling me last night ~ "Abang dah nampak dah how great Aidan would be, speaking in French"

Knowing that he scored first in his Kahoot Math yang memang mencabar soalannya masa induction kat MFI baru ni... I have strong feelings he would fly ~ definitely with Allah's will and help. Ameen

...

Feeling hopeful is something I could hardly tell how ~

Aidan was telling me "nenek atok gi Shah Alam semalam, dengan Ma Yeen kot".. 

I am still hopeful that things between me and Yeen go back to where it used to be ~ so far... hmm.. it might takes 'a little more' time.. 

how little and how more... Wallahu'alam.