Sembang cinta

Let's talk about love.... again and again...

Let's talk in the most comfortable ways and words and so you may understand. 

...

Honestly, if one is to say love is blind, I'm in total disagreeing to that. 

I might have agreed with it when I was 18 and being fooled by this one boy who swept me away, giving me 'cute' nicknames, to both myself and himself. He wrote long letters, and never failed to posted me the snail mail once or twice in a week. And being a distance away from home, I thought he loved me enough to believe all the rumours about him being the casanova man in his college. It broke my heart, badly. I have literally given him everything, and I lost everything because of love. It wasn't a great breakup ~ but, reflecting it back, I glad I did it, even after 5 years being in a 'loyal' relationship. 

For being loyal, I missed the opportunity to hear the confession from one of the boy, a friend I knew from my English course back in KL who was studying in Middlesex at that time. I also missed the opportunity to 'layan' a crush that wrote me a bold and sweet notes, a Bruneian who passed me the notes at the Malaysian Hall canteen telling me he saw me and thought I was cute and wanted to befriend me. I stop pursuing my adrenalin being told by one of the University student (I was just a college student back then) who was soooo 'smitten' (the first time I heard about the word back in 1996..hahaha) by me. I missed knowing that I was supposed to be ok with or without my then-boyfriend who were miles and miles away from me and cheated on me, throughout the five years. Demn..... 

It was on my final year that I decided to seek the truth. I called his affairs, all the way from UK to Malaysia (and back in 2000, that wasn't cheap and there was no internet call then!). I called the girl and asked about her relationship with the boy I was supposed to be going out with at that time... and she spilled out the beans. She told me, they were literally an item, but he told her, he just couldn't leave me because he love me! What the heck!! Imagine this ~ okay, I F*&^~ around with you, but I love her! Bangang ke apa??? 

I remember my best friend back then was telling me,'ko ni setia sangat woi.. kalau ko buat steady-steady je, ramai dah lelaki masuk queue nak tackle ko!'.... My friend told me, he wanted me to get to know one of his best friend. But I rejected his idea the moment he threw it. After all, I did met his friend once, and he didn't seem like he was interested. 

So, when I found out about the boy I was going out with at that time cheated on me, I was so pissed off. I wasn't heartbroken, to be honest. I wasn't crying. But, I just thought, I need 'sweet' revenge. 

I distant myself. Not writing any mails, not answering any calls, not replying to any texts from him. He even calls his friends in the UK, to check on me.. to beg forgiveness and all... I was 'busy'. 

I made my move. I started talking to the best friend of my best friend. We clicked instantaneously.. He was in London and I was in Manchester. When my sister was staying with me while waiting for her SPM result to come out at that time, we decided to be real tourist and visit London. I could arrange the stay by either staying with Uncle Mail's or even the MARA hostel, but I decided to give him a call ~ crushing on his room instead. He willingly said ok, stayed in his friend's room and gave my sister and I, his room that weekend. We had great weekend, as he accompanied us doing the touristy things and everything went well. Departing back to Manchester from Euston was something 'somber' to me back then. That was the moment, I knew that I was 'smitten' by him. 

agghhhhh... to cut things shorts ~ I'm glad that things happened. Alhamdulillah. Do I regret being loyal to the cheater for five years? Hell no!!! Who could have thought how it would ended. That London boy is mine, officially, for the last 23 years.. Alhamdulillah.. my boyfreind-then-husband. 

If I were to pursuit in cheating my ex with my Sarawakian friend, or Bruneian crush, or the senior who was smitten by me.... I might not have met and pursuit my relationship with that 'apek' Acap.. Alhamdulillah. 

So, love is blind??? 

Nope ~ love is not blind at all.. but some people is evil enough to blind us with their false hopes and that was it. 

When it is real love.. trust me, it just LOVE.. and just by saying that statement, you know, you heart is smiling and your feet is flying, even without wings..

Alhamdulillah... till Jannah, insyaallah