Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli haal
Since last month, I noticed that I do suffer for what I called a 'lock-jaw' but it doesn't really 'lock'... so dok gugel2 symptom, found it, it is called TMJ..hai lah TMJ oi!!!!
I'm not sure what cause it, but I'd be so in pain, physically and emotionally that I would cry whenever I felt it, and even thinking of it.... bila dah sakit ni attack, nak sebut huruf kaf dan qaf sangat payah.. nak zikir laa hawla wala quwwata ila billah tu... tang QUWWATA tu memang struggle.. and so I would cry.. yet, the dzikir would always be my strength when I'm in pain.
Selalunya sakit masa waktu subuh sejuk... bila sejuk, memang rasa keras semua otot.. Nak cakap side effect chemo radio, mcm rasa lama dah buat chemo radio... mcm dalam denial gak, but then, I have to admit and face the fact that the effect of that treatment could take the rest of my life...
Allahu musta'an.... truthfully... Allah is the one and only who can help me. Ameen.
It hurts! It really hurts when the pain came. I could hardly describe it and I'm sure if I were to tell anyone, people could not imagine how painful it could be - it's just a muscle pain... allahuakbar.. if only it's just a muscle pain that can be relief by just a good massage... but it doesn't work that way! and so,
Hasbiyallah wa ni'mal wakiil, ni'mal maula wa nikman nassir.
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